Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory

Four score and seven months ago my forefather Dick Cheney shot some old guy in the face.  Well actually it was nine score and nine months ago but you see what I’m doing here.  So anyway, he shot that old guy in the face with a shot gun because he got in the way of his quail hunt.  Can you imagine what he would have done if that old man had been Donald Trump?

Now that I have established the Gettysburg Address connection let me spin out why I’m a lot like Abraham Lincoln.  First of all, both of us look better in a beard than without.  So that’s big.  Next, both of us lost a Congressional race.  How crazy is that?  If you think about it, you might call the resemblance miraculous, right?  And both of us successfully put down an insurrection against the United States government.  Well, I don’t know about you but that cinches the whole thing for me.

I plan on buying a stove pipe hat and running in 2024 for president under the slogan, “Government of the Cheneys, by the Cheneys and for the Cheneys shall not perish from the earth.”

Look, let’s face facts.  The Democrats will steal every election from now on.  You know it, I know it and the American people know it too.  If anyone objects, they’ll just toss him in prison and throw away the key.  So, if at least you have a few honest patriots like me in government we can retard ever so slightly the speed at which our way of life toboggans off the cliffs of insanity and thereby make the terror imaginable rather than unimaginable.  Now that sounds like a deal to me.

So today I highly resolve to dedicate a good chunk of my spare time to running for president.  Of course, I won’t win but I fully expect to pull something like fifty million USD into my campaign war chest and that should tide me over until I can figure out who I should shoot in the face.

So, in conclusion thanks to Nancy Pelosi, Adam Schiff and Merrick Garland for all the hard work setting up the January Sixth Committee.  Barking out lies and gross exaggerations has been the most fun I’ve had in Washington since I got here.  I finally understand why the Spanish Inquisition was such a big deal.  It’s because it was just so much darn fun.  Until you’ve seen the terror in the face of some poor schlub who really believed that he had freedom of speech and equal protection under the law, when we rip his life to shreds you haven’t lived.

Thanks to the over three dozen Wyomingites that voted for me.  And as for the rest of you that voted for my opponent, I know that Dick Cheney is loading up his shot gun and will personally shoot each and every one of you in the face, even if it takes him the rest of his unnatural life.

Good night, America!

Liz Cheney’s Referendum

At 9:35 the race is very tight.  These are the first returns from Caspar WY.

Wyoming GOP At-Large
Votes Percent (5%)
Hageman 3,486 53.5
Cheney Inc 2,906 44.6

At 9:46 we’ve got a few more votes

 

AP estimates
6.1% of votes counted
AP estimates less than 35% of votes have been counted.
Harriet Hageman
R
6,219 votes 60.5%
Liz Cheney (i)
R
3,592 votes 35.0%
Anthony Bouchard
R
252 votes 2.5%
Denton Knapp
R
120 votes 1.2%
Robyn Belinskey
R
93 votes 0.9%

 

As a special tribute to Liz Cheney Night here at the Compound Camera Girl baked me a Huckleberry Pie tonight.  It’s cooling in the fridge and I’ll be celebrating the event tomorrow with a big cup of good coffee and maybe some vanilla ice cream on the side.  Well really she made it because I ordered the huckleberry filling a couple of weeks ago after my trip to Yellowstone.  It’s just a coincidence that it arrived today.  But you know the saying, “When The Legend Becomes Fact, Print The Legend:.”

10:03 Update

AP estimates
8.0% of votes counted
AP estimates less than 35% of votes have been counted.
Harriet Hageman
R
8,735 votes 65.0%
Liz Cheney (i)
R
4,102 votes 30.5%
Anthony Bouchard
R
345 votes 2.6%
Denton Knapp
R
148 votes 1.1%
Robyn Belinskey
R
109 votes 0.8%

 

10:06 Update

Wyoming GOP At-Large
Votes Percent (13%)
Hageman 10,740 64.1
Cheney Inc 5,184 30.9

 

Certainly seem to be getting there.  But Cheyenne hasn’t posted yet.

 

10:10 Update

Wyoming GOP At-Large
Votes Percent (17%)
Hageman 14,004 64.3
Cheney Inc 6,809 31.3

Better and better.

 

10:17

They called it!

 

Wyoming GOP At-Large
Votes Percent (19%)
Hageman 15,186 65.1
Cheney Inc 7,079 30.3

 

I was listening to Cheney’s concession speech.  She compares herself to Lincoln losing his House and Senate runs before becoming president.  Then she doubles down on her January 6th hysteria.  She is delusional if she thinks she’ll ever be president of the United States.  I got tired of listening to her blah blah blah.  Maybe I’ll listen to her nonsense later if I’m bored.

 

Well, the people of Wyoming have spoken  and what they said was, “Liz, you’re fired.”  She didn’t hear them so she’s going to try to run for president.  But really she just wants to get a bunch of money from donors and then live happily ever after.  Now that thought is pathetic but at least we don’t have to worry about “President Cheney” running amok with our military budget.

With all the depressing current events I’m glad that Liz Cheney Day went so well.  This sets me up for the party on Saturday in the right mood.  Well I hope everyone out there enjoyed Liz’s rejection by Wyoming.  Hopefully now she’ll move permanently to Washington DC.

Alaska results don’t start reporting until midnight Eastern time so I’ll catch up with the Murkowski results tomorrow.

Pleasant Fiction and Painful Reality

Today was a fiction writing day.  I made some good progress on the plot.  But I was stymied on an aspect of the story that only recently occurred to me.  What I realized is that one of my main characters doesn’t have enough back story.  He has a reasonably well-defined personality but he’s floating alone in his little bubble of the story.  I need to tell the readers why he is the way he is.  So, I started making up this past in my head but then I realized I need a way to have him tell this info to the readers.  That’s an awful lot of exposition.  So, what I’ll do is come up with a situation where the protagonist and this character are involved in some scene where they’re trapped together and forced to wait for some crisis to pass and that’s when I’ll have them swap histories.  To make it more natural I’ll have them both talking about their pasts.  In the context of both of them not knowing if they’re about to be killed it makes it a little more likely, emotionally, for them to be talking about their lives.

And one other problem remains.  Where does the story end?  This will be a series of books and I want to end the first book with a bang but I have to make sure that the empire will be able to strike back.  So, I have to leave enough villains to allow them to regroup.  Maybe there’s more to this writing thing than I thought.

I saw a news article that said that the FBI took Trump’s passports.  Isn’t that just too cute of them?  Apparently, they’re pulling out all the stops.  I think that’s good.  November should be the perfect storm.  We should know for sure whether there’s any hope of fixing the system.  And if the Deep State commits themselves to every banana republic tactic and holds nothing back then we’ll have no doubt about whether this is our best-case scenario.  If the mid-terms aren’t a referendum on Biden’s incompetence and the Deep State’s unconstitutional behavior then there is no conceivable way, we’ll ever push them out of power.  And it doesn’t matter whether it’s an honest election or not.  A loss for us either way says to me that it’s all over.

And I don’t say that in a melodramatic way.  On Wednesday November 9th if the Democrats still hold the House and Senate, I won’t be donning sackcloth and sifting ashes into my hair.  I won’t even put a for sale sign up in front of the Compound.  But I will be weighing my options and making some changes.  After all, living in a country that is run by an oligarchy that is proven to have an unshakeable lock on the levers of power and is also clearly working to disenfranchise your family isn’t necessarily the best option, even if it is the richest and most powerful country on the planet and has always been your home.

So, I’ll think long and hard about what’s best for me and mine.  I’m sure I’ll have plenty of company in that contemplation.  The 2020 election fraud was a shock.  But with the COVID lockdown being used to allow all kinds of irregularities it left a question as to whether the fraud could be reined in afterward.  If it’s repeated this year then it can be repeated indefinitely.  If the Justice Department can run two kinds of “justice” then we’ve already ceased to be a legitimate state.  So, many people will be reflecting on these facts.

But, enough of that gloomy talk.  Tomorrow is Liz Cheney’s Primary Day.  I intend to enjoy that event to its fullest.  Maybe she’ll give a tearful concession speech or a defiant vow to be back on top someday soon.  But either way I will savor the moment.  Quoting Khan Noonien Singh (or actually Herman Melville) “to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee,” I revel in the spite inherent in punishing the RINOs.  It’s the only thing that we can do to redress the injuries these people inflict on us every day.  The least we can do is celebrate their defeat.