Category: Current Events

Publius Decius Mus and his Enemies

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Publius Decius Mus (author of the anonymous and influential article “The Flight 93 Election” has been revealed to be Michael Anton.  And he has taken a job as the White House’s,  Communications Director of the National Security Council.  Anton immediately found himself attacked by the usual suspects, leftists and never-Trumpers.  He’s all kinds of bad things.  He’s a Nazi (of course), a fascist, a reactionary.  He’s too smart to just be a deplorable.  He must be an evil genius.  Anton was part of the George W Bush administration and a card-carrying neo-con.  But he saw the mistakes that were made and recognized the overreach and delusion that defined the Bush view.  He saw that Conservatism Inc. (his term for the pundits) was not interested in the issues that faced the everyday people.  They were uninterested in either rampant illegal immigration that depressed their wages, rampant globalism that exported their jobs or unchallenged cultural Marxism that demeaned their beliefs and proselytized their children.

The Flight 93 Election article was clear and I think convincing.  It provided the logical reason for even a high-powered intellect to embrace the Trump presidential bid as the only hope of avoiding a fundamental and probably irreversible degradation to the American way of life.  I remember agreeing with the article completely and finding comfort in knowing that someone clearly intelligent and literate had expressed in the public square what I also believed was at stake in the 2016 election.

So why am I writing this post?  Because once again, the Trump administration has done something good.  They have plucked a former W insider who was part of the Iraq War catastrophe and because he believes in what the Trump White House wants to get done, they’re using him.  Smart.

People keep telling me how crazy Trump is, how dumb he is.  Well if he is then he sure knows how to hide it.  Admittedly when he goes off script he sounds like Ralph Kramden of the Honeymooners talking to the members of the Racoon Lodge about how he is going to put one over on their wives.  But every time he makes a move it turns out to be the right one.  One theory I’ve been trying out is that Melania is the puppet-mistress pulling The Donald’s strings.  Well, if this is so then lucky him.  But more likely, he has learned how to size up advisers.  And he’s surrounded himself with people who know what they are doing.  If that is true, then hiring Anton is just another good example of Trump recognizing good people.  I’ve read some of Anton’s non-political writings and he is witty and clear.

Well, all this sounds just like a puff piece.  Where’s the dramatic tension?  I’ll tell you where.  I’m disgruntled.  Trump and his people knew Decius was a Bush guy but reading his articles must have convinced them that he should be part of the team.  I consider myself a great intellectual too.  And I’ve written dozens of posts on Trump that put him in a good light (well I do poke some gentle fun at you, schmoopy).  So where’s my cushy Washington job with a view of Pennsylvania Avenue?  Come on Donald, you know where to reach me.  Send the helicopter and let’s do a meeting.  As your science and technology adviser I can streamline all these boondoggle programs and actually get something useful done.  With my help, you can make nerds great again.  But this is a short-term offer.  On January 9th 2025 this offer will be null and void (well, unless you’re listening too Mike Pence, errr, sir).  So, hurry up schmoopy.

Groundhog Day and Still Winning

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Happy Groundhog Day! All fans of Bill Murray’s classic know that in order to escape from the Purgatory of endlessly reliving a day trapped in a boring hick town in winter you have to recognize your fatal sin and eliminate it.  For the democrats the endless loop is Trump giving them another hot foot.  Their sin is contempt for the average non-elite American.

Luckily for us Deplorables, they’re highly unlikely to even recognize this as a fault. They’ll continue to rage and riot and show the rest of the country how little respect they have for any of the things regular Americans want done.

So it’s been a meme for quite a while to ask yourself if you’re tired of winning yet. This is a play on a statement by Trump that his administration would be winning so much, that Americans would get tired of winning.

So every morning when I get to work, I talk to the Coffee Walk Baunch and I ask them if they’re tired of winning. They’re not.

I have a good memory of every presidential administration going back to LBJ. I can honestly say that even Reagan never produced this much glee.  I am honestly glad every morning to hear what Trump has accomplished and even happier to hear which lefty loon is apoplectic about it.  And like clockwork, whatever reaction they commit blows up in their faces like it was in some kind of Road Runner cartoon.  Only under this administration the democrats are always the coyote.

Almost as amusing, is seeing the old guard republican pundits warily sizing up every new Trump action to see if it’s safe yet to attack it. They’ve been burned so many times doing this  that they are gun shy of just jumping in and condemning him.  But you can tell that they just can’t whole heartedly accept that Trump is the real deal.  After all, he looks and sounds like an extra from a Seinfeld episode.  How can he be smarter than them?  Well, earth to pundits, he is!  Supreme Court picks, wall construction, cabinet picks, immigration policy, bureaucracy reduction, environmental policy, energy policy, education policy, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check!  Yep, he’s way smarter than you and he’s way more useful than you and, shock of shocks, he’s actually way more “conservative” than you.

And so I’ll bring this back around to Groundhog Day.  I wouldn’t mind waking up every day and hearing that Donald Trump had shocked and offended the democrats.  I would even be willing to have  my alarm clock start every single day with Sonny and Cher belting out “I Got You Babe” if it meant that Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi and The New York Times and CNN were also waking up to it along with some new bit of Trump jiu-jitsu that was just for them.  Because “He’s Got Them.”

But I want to get involved in it.  I think Trump should contact all his campaign donors and take a poll of what new affront to democrat dignity would be especially popular with the troops.  Maybe the best idea could be announced at a presidential address (or at least given a tweeted shout-out).  My suggestion would be to stop all support to California until they stop violating immigration laws.  This would be especially effective with respect to college money being lavished on illegal aliens.  But I’m sure there are thousands of good ideas out there in the American psyche just waiting for Trump to add it to the endless winning that is our present life.  Long may Ground Hog Day continue.  Amen.

Trump vs the Martian

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(Scene 1 – White House West Wing)

Mike Pence (MP):  Mr. President, I got your message.

Donald Trump (DT):  Hello Mike.  Yeah, I need some help.

MP:  Yes, what can I do?

DT:  Until our NSF man is appointed I need to get someone to get the eggheads working on something for me.

MP:  Sure I’ll get someone on the phone right away and have them line up the subject matter experts you need.  What is the subject?

DT:  Nukes.

MP:  Mr. President, isn’t it a little early in the term to start rattling sabres?

DT:  No not bombs, power plants.

MP:  But why Mr. President?  With fracking and the lower prices it isn’t economical to build nuclear power plants.

DT:  Think big Mike.  Sure, oil’s cheap now but it isn’t infinite.  We’ve got to look for a fuel that will still be around in a thousand years and solve the problems before we’re already using it.

MP:  Alright, that’s true.  But right now the environmentalists are up in arms about the climate change thing and are ready to start a war with you.

DT:  Exactly.  And that’s how I’m gonna sell it to them.  I’ll make them put their money where their mouths are.

MP:  How?

DT:  I’ll simply say if they believe that global warming is real then they must support an alternative to fossil fuels.  It’s just been shown how useless wind and solar are for practical power generation.  I’ll tell them if they want to save the planet, they’ll have to sign on to this initiative.  They’ll be too scared to admit the whole thing was a hoax so they’ll be backed into a corner.  And once they agree it’ll utterly piss off the Gaia crowd who hate nukes worse than they hate me.  It’s a real win win.

MP:  Sounds like an interesting idea.  Where do you intend to locate this new project?

DT:  Detroit.

MP:  No, Mr. President!  The optics would be terrible!

DT:  Wrong again.  This program would generate jobs all the way from PhD’s down to janitors.  Putting Americans to work is the best kind of optics there is.  And Detroit needs jobs like nowhere else.

MP:  Maybe you’re right about this.  But why are you suddenly interested in nuclear power?

DT:  Because I’m from Queens.

MP:  I don’t understand.

DT:  Have you ever seen the site of the 1963 World’s Fair?

MP:  Well yes.  The Unisphere and the flying saucer towers that they showed in Men in Black.

DT:  Yeah.  Well I was a teenager when my parents brought me to it.  And I saw a vision of the future that included unlimited power, space travel, a cure for cancer and flying cars.  Well I’m seventy years old and the only space age thing I see is the cell phone in my pocket.

That doesn’t cut it.

My grandkids are going to live in a world without limits.  I’m tired of losers whining about why we can’t do the things we know we can do.  And I think it’s about time we start doing them.  I’m also going to restart the space program.  But we’re gonna need a better propulsion system to get to Mars.  I saw Matt Damon raising potatoes in his own poop because it took two years to get to Mars.  With nukes we could get there in two weeks.  That’s what we’re gonna do.

MP:  I’ll get them on the phone.

DT:  Oh, and see if anyone has a background in underwater construction.  I always wanted to build a hotel in the Gulf of Mexico.  Good winter vacation spot.

Melania vs Nasty Women

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(Scene 1 – White House West Wing)

President Trump (PT):  Schmoopy, schmoopy.  Where are you?

Melania Trump (MT):  Right here schmoopy.  I was just on-line buying a new summer house in Tokyo.  I am tired of the New York.  It is smelly and ugly and the mayor is the smelly, ugly, commie pinko.  I hate the barricade and the ugly, smelly, mean people who are mean to me and our son.

PT:  Who is being mean to our son, schmoopy?  I’ll have the secret service water board him.

MT:  You cannot schmoopy.  It is a mean girl from SNL and you cannot use the torture on girls.  They’re so mean, they do not even notice it.  It’s much better to get the National Enquirer to say that she has the herpes.

PT:  Fine, I’ll go with that.  Now I need your help.

MT:  Of course schmoopy.  We must all support the Commando of Cheap.

PT:  That’s Commander in Chief.

MT:  Oh.  Well, sure, why not?

PT:  Anyway, I need help with a problem.  There are millions of American women who think I mean to do them harm.  Did you see the news clips of the women with the hats in Washington?

MT:  These are the pussy-heads?

PT:  Yes.

MT:  Oh schmoopy, there is no help for that.  If your head is up there then you cannot hear anything, believe me.  It is like the American expression, “you have the head up the butthole.”

PT:  Yes, but we must try.  I want as much support for my policies as I can possibly get.

MT:  Schmoopy, I will try.  I will talk to the hat women.  I will ask them to take their heads out of their hats and hear the words.

PT:  Thank you schmoopy.  Now I must go and save the world from Prince Charles and Al Gore.  They’re using up so much jet fuel during their celebrity protests against global warming that the strategic petroleum reserve is on EMPTY and the blinking red light is about to come on.

(Scene 2 – Podium of the Pussy Hat Rally in Central Park)

Rosie O’Donnell (RO):  Sisters, we are here to resist the evil Trump regime with every fiber of our beings.  With our hats, we form a sisterhood of solidarity.  We are stronger than any man and we will not give up until we have conquered the enemy and his evil patriarchal rule.

Joy Beyhar (JB):  Thank you Rosie, and now ladies we have a controversial speaker.  Sort of a traitor to the sisterhood.  Let’s give polite attention to Melania Trump.

RO:  Booo!  Booo!  We hate you!

JB:  Quiet Rosie.  We have no time to waste.

MT:  Thank you Joy.  You are very kind to let me speak to these crazy women.  And Rosie, have some cheesecake right away.  You must be having the low energy.

RO:  AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

MT:  Hello Nasty Women.  I am the First Lady Melania Trump.  I know that you are angry with schmoopy because he said you are ugly and talk too much and because he gave the ass-kicking to Mrs. Clinton.

Crowd:  Booo!   Boooo!

MT:  Please nasty women.  Let me speak.  You must know the truth and stop putting your heads in the pussy.  Schmoopy does not mean you the harm.  He only wants you to shut up and make the sandwich.  I heard him say so.  And he is right.  If you do these things some of you may be able to find ugly husbands and produce ugly children.  I know these things because I have friends and relatives who are also ugly and they are doing these things and producing the children.  Go back to your homes.  Bath yourselves and clean your hair.  Put on the make-up and the push up bra and you will find the ugly men, I promise you.  And do not vote for the Hillary again.  She is very bad and her husband is a very creepy man.  He stared at me at the swearing in and he was very scary.  Now go away.  You are too close to the Trump Tower and may scare Barron.  He is frightened of the ugly women.  He is not used to them.

 

(Scene 3 – White House West Wing)

MT:  Schmoopy, I’m home.

PT:  Schmoopy!  The President of NOW has given up lesbianism and married Sylvester Stallone and Rosie O’Donnell has entered rehab.  My poll number with women has gone up 30 points.  How did you do it?

MT:  I told them the true things that my mother told me when I was a beautiful little girl.  She said Melania, for every ugly pot, there is an ugly lid.  But not for you.  You are beautiful and will marry the billionaire from America.

PT:  This really is the greatest country in the world.

Open Range – A Short Movie Review

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True Grit: The Duke, The Dude and The Dutiful Daughter; Part I

True Grit – Part 2, Rooster Redux

Having been born in the fifties of the last century I am familiar with westerns from the early days of Hollywood and the later era in the sixties.  Now these two styles were as different as night and day.  The earlier movies represented a simpler more idealized version of the old west.  The sixties represented the era of the anti-hero and the anti-heroic west.  Both of these periods produced memorable films.  I have favorites from both periods and depending on the mood can enjoy either.  In the last twenty years, some good westerns have been made.  Interestingly they represent an evolution that contains aspects of both these earlier film types.  Unlike the earlier films, they do not represent an idealized world and at the same time they lack the relentlessly negative depiction of the sixties western.  Let’s say it’s a more balanced approach.  So, some of these new movies appeal to me for a variety of reasons.  Some are remakes of earlier classics.  One of these, True Grit, I’ve already reviewed.  Some are new stories like Open Range.  I’ll say what I like about this story and why.

The plot of the story is a familiar one.  It’s settlers versus herders.  A small herd owner passes through a town run by a rich tyrannical landowner, Denton Baxter (played to the hilt by Michael Gambon) who controls the sheriff and attacks and kills any free grazing herders that come through his land.  His men attack and kill one of the cowboys and injure another.  The herd owner, Boss Spearman (Robert Duvall), and his lead man, Charlie Waite (Kevin Costner), come back to the town to get a doctor for their shot friend and to get justice.  The narrative runs to a climactic gun fight.   Mixed in is a love story between Waite and the doctor’s sister, Sue Barlow (Annette Bening).  Seeing as Costner and Bening aren’t kids anymore, the love story is appealing to people of my generation and fits in with the theme of a changing world closing off one familiar lifestyle while opening up a better one to those willing to see.

So, this is a pretty standard plot.  Why do I like it?

First off, the look and feel of the movie.  It must have been filmed in the Canadian Rockies.  The panoramic views and the outdoor scenes are fantastic to look at.  The scenes in the town look good.  They spent enough money to make the sets look authentic.  The soundtrack is first rate.

Second, the portrayals by all the leads and many of the supporting characters are well done and very engaging.  I’m a fan of Duvall’s and the chemistry between him and Costner makes the movie work.  The Costner/Bening love story is understated and enjoyable.

Third and most important, the gun fight at the end is epic.  Our heroes Duvall and Costner line up against five men and then fight their way through the rest of the gang to stay alive and win the day.  So why is it so good?  Well first off, these have to be the loudest guns ever fired.  Even sitting in my living room, I can feel the percussion rattling my teeth.  Honestly, I doubt there were Iowa Class battleships with guns this robust.  Secondly, Kevin Costner was lucky enough to own revolvers that were twenty-five-shooters.  He would peel off ten shots at one adversary before moving on to another dozen shots at the next opponent.  This can be both dramatically useful and conducive to a gunfighter’s health.  And finally, the bad guys are so enjoyably bad.  One villain even brags about how much he enjoyed shooting someone in the head just as he himself gets shot practically right between the eyes.  The lead villain, Baxter is continuously issuing threats and insults at anyone he sees and is thoroughly despicable.  It’s truly a pleasure seeing him dispatched by our heroes’ thunderously loud and apparently infinitely loaded shooting irons.

Open Range is one of my favorite modern westerns.  In style, I think it throws back more to the pre-sixties westerns.  But it is so well-acted and generally well made that it actually updates many of the conventions it adheres to and gives them new life.  I highly recommend it.  And the ladies like it too.  So, throw it in for date night.  You can’t go wrong.

 

President Trump – The Greatest Show on Earth

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A week or two ago I lamented the demise of the Barnum and Bailey Circus.  I hereby retract that sentiment.  If the initials in P.T. Barnum stood for President Trump instead of Phineas Taylor I wouldn’t be any surer that I am now witnessing the Greatest Show on Earth.

I have contributed to several republican presidential candidates in my life and sometimes felt I was repaid with the results.  But never had I imagined that my recompense for contributing to Trump would include laughter and amazement.

We are now surrounded by a show the likes of which Americans have never seen or imagined.  Compared to the glacial pace of most new administrations, Trump is a veritable juggernaut.  No sooner does he dismantle one Obama mess than he begins assaulting some other monstrosity.  And throughout the proceedings the press and the leftist crazies run around in circles decrying some off-hand remark about crowds at the inauguration or pink hat wearing harpies.  For the last two months, I have been hearing from happy right wingers that too much winning might actually be a medical condition with health risks associated.  I don’t know about that but I can attest that you can hurt your ribs from too much laughing.

Honestly, I can’t remember being this happy since the beginning of the millennium.  And I am aware that all good things will come to an end.  But it’s very difficult for me to worry about that now.  The giddiness that envelops me has started to effect my critical faculties and I find myself imagining all sorts of absurd possibilities.  What if PT launched a government television show (on PBS?) in which citizens could call in and recommend a particularly odious government regulation to eliminate.  Every week Americans could vote on line (like American Idol) and Trump could preside as the judge.

Or maybe he could amuse us like FDR did with fireside chats.  But instead of pep talks he could regale us with which reporter or which celebrity had told the biggest lies about his administration.  Maybe he could announce which American company had expanded employment.  Possibly there could be a lottery for some of these jobs.  Now that would sell.

Of course, this all sounds like a fever dream.  But it’s hardly crazier than the POTUS saying that Mexico will pay for a wall to keep its citizens out of the US.  And the best part about it is that he actually can do it.  We’ve always heard that the president was the most powerful man in the world.  And the strength of the American armed forces and up until recently of its industry made that true.  But who ever imagined that the president could also be this much fun?

Anyway, eventually all this will come back to earth.  But right now, it feels like anything is possible and things keeping going from good to better.  Seeing those leftist ghouls shrieking and running in circles and Trump just telling them off is like the scene in the Lord of the Rings where Saruman discovers that his voice can no longer confuse or seduce his enemies and leads him to resort to insult until he is broken and dismissed by his new boss.

So here is my hat off to you PT.  You truly have become the greatest show on earth and without any danger of exaggeration, the show is absolutely huuuuge!

Trump vs The MSM (Part II)

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Trump vs The MSM (Part I)

 

Scene: White House West Wing

 

David Muir (DM):  Good evening, I’m David Muir of ABC News reporting from the White House with an exclusive interview with newly inaugurated President Donald Trump.  Good evening Mr. President.

President Trump (PT):  Hello David.

(DM):  Mr. President, all of America is asking what will your administration do next.  Your actions this week to build the wall and reverse so many of President Obama’s executive orders have surprised many people and frightened a good many of those.

(PT):  Well David, I understand there are a percentage of Americans who disagree with my agenda.  Those people are called democrats.  But it doesn’t make much sense for them to be surprised.  I’ve been saying for a year and a half that I would do all these things.

(DM):  Many thought you were exaggerating.

(PT):  So much for that.  Look, I have a very aggressive agenda and time passes quickly in this town.  It takes forever to just get rolling.  For someone used to getting things done it’s very frustrating.  So, no one should be surprised if I ram these changes through as quickly as humanly possible.

(DM):  But what can you say to allay the fears of these people?

(PM):  See a headshrinker.  He’ll be able to explain that reality is sometimes different from your delusions.

(DM):  That seems like a callous way of treating these people.

(PT):  Not at all.  Lying to people is much crueler.  Like those crazy women who were shrieking about me while wearing those stupid hats.  Telling people that they were the resistance instead of just posers.  Look at that idiot Madonna.  Talking about blowing up the White House.  That’s the talk of a petulant child or a lunatic.  She’s much better off seeing a shrink or taking a vacation or even taking care of her kids.

(DM):  Mr. President, a lot of Americans think you’ve been lying about many things.  For instance, you claim that your inauguration crowd was larger than President Obama’s.

(PT):  Well David, if anyone should be worried about telling lies to the American people it should be the television and print press.  Your colleagues Brian Williams and Dan Rather were both fired for fabricating stories.  And even the ones who haven’t been fired know that they spend an enormous amount of time spinning facts to fit a narrative they want the viewers to believe.  I mean, how is it that if a high government official knowingly disobeys the security laws for safeguarding government secrets and because of that a foreign government obtains that information the press doesn’t do their job and alert the people of the seriousness of the situation.  And if the government at the time colludes to allow this crime to go unpunished how can the press not trumpet this from the front page as a major scandal?  Isn’t that wholesale lying or even journalistic malfeasance.

(DM):  But we’re not the US government we’re just in business.

(PT):  From what I learned in grammar school, the press has a very important role to play in the American system.  It seems that lying about the facts to the American people when it involves their government should be considered a serious offense.  I think I’ll have my justice department review the record of your industry over the course of the last couple of presidents and see if any RICO laws have been violated.

(DM):  Mr. President, I’m not sure I like the way this interview is going.

(PT):  Relax David.  The truth shall set you free. Maybe.

Trump vs The MSM (Part I)

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Trump vs The MSM (Part II)

 

Scene: Oval Office

President Trump (PT):  Spicer, get in here will ya?  I’ve got a bone to pick with you.

Press Secretary Spicer (PSS):  How can I help you Mr. President?

PT:  I was just watching your presser with those news yahoos.  Why didn’t you blast those imbeciles?  Polite speech is wasted on these losers.

PSS:  Well, Mr. President, I am trying to maintain the dignity of our offices.

PT:  Under most circumstances that would make sense.  But these cretins are true villains.  Treating them humanely is a mistake.

PSS:  But how can you be sure that that strategy won’t boomerang against us?

PT:  That’s where tactics come into play.

PSS:  I confess I’ll need all the help on this I can get.

PT:  Relax, I’ve looked into the resources available to the White House and I’ve set up a command center for you.  You’ll have about forty men on your crew.  It’ll be their job to collect counter intelligence on the news rats and set up the audio-visual show.

PSS:  Sir, is that even legal?

PT:  Son, all it requires is enough manpower to research the earlier news reports of these blithering idiots to show just what kind of duplicitous hypocrites they really are.

PSS:  But is this not excessive?

PT:  That is dead wrong.  Even though the main stream media is barely credible with a good percentage of the population it is a mistake to let them lie about us and our work.  Now get together with your crew and start setting up the technical equipment in advance of the next press conference.

PSS:  Yes Mr. President.  Do you happen to have anything available on the NBC crew?  They’ve been especially annoying today.

PT:  Are you kidding?  I’ve got a reel of them throwing softballs to Obama about Reverend Wright that will have them running for the exits.

PSS:  Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of weasels.

 

Trump vs The MSM (Part II)

He Begins Well

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I had to work on Inauguration Day.  When I took a break, I had a chance to hear the speech.  The words are good.  Whoever wrote it earned his pay.  There is no soaring rhetoric.  Its power is in its relevance.  I heard a few simple messages.  The time for talk is over.  The time for action is now.  Buy American, hire American.  America first.

I am no longer an overly enthusiastic or optimistic man.  I do not assume that good intentions are enough to solve problems.  But I note that just as Trump spoke during the campaign to the underlying blindness that republican leaders exhibited to the concerns of the people on the right so his speech here cleaves to his primary message.  He declares his mission.  Restore America for Americans.

I’ll keep this short and sweet.  He begins well.