Tag: cabinet picks

Gorsuch Heads to the Hill

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When Neil Gorsuch heads up to the Senate this week it’ll be interesting to see if his only enemies will be Democrats. Chuck Schumer has promised that he will force the Republicans to go nuclear.  What he is saying is that he will not release the Democratic senators in red states to vote against a filibuster.  The filibuster would prevent the nomination from being brought to the full senate for a simple majority vote.  This is a tricky situation.  There are seven Democrats up for re-election in 2018 who are in states that voted for Trump.  If all of those voted against the filibuster and the vice president threw in his vote that would be sixty.  But realistically it doesn’t seem likely that all seven would cave.  So if the Democrats can let a few of the most vulnerable vote for cloture it still allows few of the more secure senators to vote against.

This leads to the nuclear option. The Dems under Harry Reed eliminated the filibuster for every confirmation approval type but the Supreme Court justices.  This occurred because the republicans effectively blocked Obama’s other court selections.  Schumer at the time was hesitant about the decision.  Now he is shown prescient.  Trump has the potential of appointing another two (and possibly more) SCOTUS picks during his tenure.  And eliminating the filibuster would make the appointments under the current congressional make-up almost routine.

Great! What’s not to love?  Well, not so fast.  If I were to guess, John McCain and Lindsey Graham would be the usual suspects in any revolt in the ranks.  I can just imagine high flowery prose defending the sanctity of the filibuster as a sacred check and balance against the tyranny of the majority.  Blah, blah, blah.

Okay, how does it end up? My guess, Trump tells McConnell to promise McCain and Graham either some senate perks or some pork for their states and they find a way to vote for the change.  Then the same kabuki theater gets repeated during the actual approval when some other senators discover they have perks or pork that need to be addressed.  Long story short, Vice President Pence comes over to the Senate and Gorsuch gets approved 51 – 47.

You can say that eliminating the filibuster is a dangerous play. In four years President Warren will be nominating Justice Obama for the bench and we’ll be powerless to block that appointment.  To that I say, whatever.

You only get to worry about the bullet you dodge today. If you die today, writing on your tombstone that your bullet proof vest is on order would sound pretty pathetic. So the play is sound.  Get Gorsuch in.  Get Kennedy to resign and replace him with Tomás de Torquemada as soon as is humanly possible. And add another conservative jurist as soon as superhumanly possible.  So much damage has already been done that it will take eight years of a Trump administration just to get us back to the baseline of where we were under John Kennedy.

So gentlemen of the Senate, get off your asses and get it done. I was promised a (sort of) conservative Supreme Court by Easter.  But I’m getting impatient.  Let’s shoot for Palm Sunday.

The Hunting of the Snark

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If you grew up with Watergate as the primary example of Republicans self-immolating, then news that Jeff Sessions recused himself from investigating the Russian Scandal sounds ominous.  But Donald Trump is not your father’s Republican.  This morning I read that Donald Trump was tweeting how Obama had wire-tapped Trump Tower during the election.  That’s more like it.

Trump seems to have a well-developed instinct for public relations.  I think he is working an angle to allow him to use public opinion to defuse the Obama trip-wires that we see being deployed by Deep State actors and the Fake Media.  The only question in my mind is whether the initial actions by Obama’s surrogates are immune from legal consequences.  Being the petty, vindictive individual I am, I whole-heartedly hope for some truly horrific retribution involving extended prison terms and plea-bargains involving state’s evidence that leads to indictments of former presidents with the (D) associated to their names.

The way that I would approach this is to announce that the leaking of investigatory information was a conspiracy to destabilize the United States government and therefore a form of treason.  I would give anyone who wanted to avoid prosecution, the chance to come forward with the details in advance of an investigation.  Anyone who did not come forward and had information of the conspiracy would be liable for prosecution as a co-conspirator.  That would surely produce some actionable information and allow for the rounding up of the main actors.  From what I remember, treason still has the death penalty attached to it.  And atheist communists know of nothing less desirable than being dead.  So, it should be interesting to see where this sort of quail hunt goes.

But the first step is to provide a pardon to Jeff Sessions (and General Flynn) in advance and move forward with the hunt.  That should take all the wind out of the sails of the democrats and let them know that they are being hunted by the guy they tried to set up.  These democrats have had things their own way their whole lives and someone who doesn’t play by their rules will have a pretty easy time of mopping the floors with them.  After all, the element of surprise is an incredibly powerful thing to have on your side, especially against the complacent.

On a personal note, I think it would be extremely interesting to get state’s evidence from someone like an FBI insider.  There must be a list of House and Senate names involved that would empty their side of the aisle if the true story ever came out.

Trump vs The Deep State

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Announcer’s Voice (surprising Don Pardo-esque!) – We interrupt this regularly scheduled and highly uninteresting programming to bring an important message from the President of the United States.

(President Trump) – Good evening, my fellow Americans, I hate to break in on your viewing of “Fresh Off the Boat” or whatever other crapfest you were watching, but I need you to wake up for thirty seconds, put down the Doritos and listen carefully.

For the last few months, ever since I kicked Hillary’s ass in the election, Obama and his stooges in the FBI, CIA and NSA have been cooking up a sting operation against my nominees to stop all the things I’m doing to drain the swamp.  You see, they are the swamp and they don’t want to be drained.  Unfortunately some of the appointees allowed themselves to be tricked into trying to hide the contacts that the sting operation was using as bait.  Well that doesn’t reflect well on their own intelligence and honesty.  But they’re also the best we’ve got so I can’t allow this nonsense to go on.

That is why I’ve come up with a two prong solution to this problem.  First I’m providing a blanket pardon to all these nabobs who took the Obama bait.  They don’t deserve it but it’s the only way to put an end to this nonsense.

Second, I’m announcing a bounty for anyone who has evidence that I can use against this little cabal that Obama and Clinton have cooked up.  I’m calling it Dollars for Democrats.  If you have evidence that will allow me to prosecute any of these losers, I’ll give you cash, lots of cash.  You name the price.  A million dollars, a hundred million dollars, let’s talk.  I’ll also throw in a pardon and even secret service protection if it’s on Bill and Hillary (they’re known to get vicious, I’ve heard).  And don’t forget, if you’ve got something showing who is leaking this stuff to the Times and Post I’ll get you a Presidential Medal of Valour (if there is such a thing) and probably put your face on a postage stamp.

Okay, that’s it.  Go back to the bong now but try to remember and think about it if you still can.  Trump out!

 

Trump vs PLOTUS

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President Trump (PT):  Mike, where are you?  I need your help.

Mike Pence (MP):  Right here, Mr. President.  What can I do for you?

PT:  I need to announce another appointment.

MP:  Uhh, Mr. President, those are all finished.

PT:  Wrong, Pence.  I have selected the next PLOTUS.

MP:  I’m not familiar with that acronym.

PT:  Poet Laureate of the United States.

MP:  Oh, Mr. President, I mean, I enjoy trolling these people almost as much as you do.  But isn’t that a bridge too far?  Oprah may have a stroke or something.

PT:  Hey look, I need to have some fun with this job.  I’m also gonna make this a twofer by appointing him to the Board of Directors of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

MP:  Alright, I’ll bite.  Who have you picked?

PT:  A man whom I have fired.  A former business associate who does not like me.  I have been completely impartial.  The most impartial.  This appointment is strictly on the merits of his poetry.  His greatness is well known.  Like me he is from New York City.  He hails from the famous neighborhood of Sheepshead Bay.  Not far from Trump Village.  A truly great building complex.  And like me he has appeared on SNL.  His name is Andrew Dice Clay.  His poetry is probably best known for incorporating traditional English nursery rhymes.  His haiku on Mother Goose is legendary.

MP:  Oh good grief.  This is going to cost us on the evangelical vote.

PT:  Nah, we may lose some feminists, but let’s be realistic.  I’m not getting them anyway.  Plus can you just see the headlines on the Times, The New Yorker, The Atlantic?  They’ll be marching with those stupid hats for weeks.  And I’ll commission PLOTUS to write a commemoration.  Possibly something to do with Nantucket.  And while everyone is busy I’ll get a replacement for Kennedy onto SCOTUS.

MP:  You know, this one almost makes sense.  Alright count me in.  But to truly do justice to this action I believe you should make the proclamation on SNL.

PT:  That’s a tough one.  They really hate me there.  But that’s an interesting idea.  I’ll think about it.

MP:  You know, I didn’t even know Clay was still alive.

PT:  Yeah, he’s been on a downward trend since I fired him on the Apprentice.  He could probably use a full-time gig too.  I think I’ll get him a spot in the Justice Department.  Possibly running Title IX enforcement.  That should balance out some of the social justice holdovers from Obama.

MP:  Now that actually kind of is poetry.  Poetic Justice, if you’ll pardon the pun.

PT:  Wow, Mike.  You really need to loosen up.  That was a lead balloon.  I tell you what.  I’ll rent you a copy of Ford Fairlane and have PLOTUS give you a few lessons in funny.  What do you say?

MP:  Hickory dickory, dock?

Trump vs The MSM (Part I)

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Trump vs The MSM (Part II)

 

Scene: Oval Office

President Trump (PT):  Spicer, get in here will ya?  I’ve got a bone to pick with you.

Press Secretary Spicer (PSS):  How can I help you Mr. President?

PT:  I was just watching your presser with those news yahoos.  Why didn’t you blast those imbeciles?  Polite speech is wasted on these losers.

PSS:  Well, Mr. President, I am trying to maintain the dignity of our offices.

PT:  Under most circumstances that would make sense.  But these cretins are true villains.  Treating them humanely is a mistake.

PSS:  But how can you be sure that that strategy won’t boomerang against us?

PT:  That’s where tactics come into play.

PSS:  I confess I’ll need all the help on this I can get.

PT:  Relax, I’ve looked into the resources available to the White House and I’ve set up a command center for you.  You’ll have about forty men on your crew.  It’ll be their job to collect counter intelligence on the news rats and set up the audio-visual show.

PSS:  Sir, is that even legal?

PT:  Son, all it requires is enough manpower to research the earlier news reports of these blithering idiots to show just what kind of duplicitous hypocrites they really are.

PSS:  But is this not excessive?

PT:  That is dead wrong.  Even though the main stream media is barely credible with a good percentage of the population it is a mistake to let them lie about us and our work.  Now get together with your crew and start setting up the technical equipment in advance of the next press conference.

PSS:  Yes Mr. President.  Do you happen to have anything available on the NBC crew?  They’ve been especially annoying today.

PT:  Are you kidding?  I’ve got a reel of them throwing softballs to Obama about Reverend Wright that will have them running for the exits.

PSS:  Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of weasels.

 

Trump vs The MSM (Part II)

The Pause before the Plunge

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Since December 22nd I have been in a veritable cocoon of self-imposed isolation from the world.  I have left the grounds only three times and only once for more than an hour.  I have spent this time, for the most part, reveling in the blissful sloth of a long holiday vacation.  I have eaten delicious and unhealthy food until it is coming out of my ears.  I sat around and watched so many holiday and “classic” movies that I’m tempted to nominate Bing Crosby for sainthood.  And, of course I read so much political news that I feel sure that Trump will give me the nod for Veterans Administration head just on the merits.

But now it’s time to emerge from my cocoon.  Tomorrow (shudder!), I will make the commute back to the office and reconnect with the real world.  I’m not sure what to expect.  I know my desk will be covered with paperwork (actual and virtual) and it will be a week before I’m dug out.  In fact, the beginning of the year is a sprint of deliverables and meetings that will keep me hopping for weeks.  Good, the status quo is restored.

But it’s not.  The impending Trump presidency hangs over everyone like some alien spacecraft hovering over a large city in a sci fi thriller.  Either it’s going to be Independence Day and the hellfire is about to rain down or it’s Star Trek IV and we’re all gonna be bored by some sermon on saving the whales.  But either way it’s up there and until we know which it will be it’s hard to pretend that finishing that power point presentation on quarterly highlights is the most important thing in the world.

Of course, we have to wait another two and a half weeks until this Obama joker gets finished trashing the government and golfing on our nickel.  I doubt there’s a less welcome player on the world stage than BO.  Not even his own party can stand him.  But he’s determined to cause the maximum annoyance until they pull the curtain down on this clown.  Lord, give me patience.

But regardless if you’re Ann Coulter or Rosie O’Donnell there’s no denying that Donald Trump is the biggest story and none of us know for sure exactly what he’ll do.  Now, I’m firmly ensconced on the right periphery of the political spectrum.  I hope that Trump starts off his administration with a rapid reversal of all Obama’s executive orders and moves on to appointing Torquemada to the Supreme Court and Genghis Khan to the Justice Department.  Then they could take on a joint project of structuring a RICO prosecution that includes BLM and George Soros.  But only someone who has been asleep for the last thirty years can be unaware of how badly reality can deviate from even the most reasonable forecasts.

In early 1992 no one could have seen GHW Bush losing to Bill Clinton.  During the Gulf War his poll numbers were stratospheric.  Equally improbable was GW Bush’s failure to reckon with the American people’s dissatisfaction with his interminable wars in the Mid-East.  These were political blunders that led to Bill Clinton and Barack Obama respectively.  What they should teach us is that the president can’t have a tin political ear.  If you pull the levers of power and they cause pain to the people who vote, you’d better be able to convince them that it’s for something they want.  So, there’s the question, is Trump more like Reagan or more like a Bush.

I’m actually pretty certain that Donald Trump is closer to the former than the latter.  And that gives me hope.  I can see him striking deals with even some democrats that will satisfy voters and boost consumer confidence.  Of course, the flip-side of this would be, Trump moving so far to the left that he would be indistinguishable from Hillary Clinton.  This I find unlikely.  Based on the people he’s putting in place, I think he wants to make some big changes.  His picks for Education, Energy and the EPA are affronts to the liberals.  I can see how he intends to lighten the ship in those departments.  Also his pick for Defense is a signal that fun and games are over for the Army.

All in all, I find myself quite optimistic about 2017.  The best part of having a character like Donald Trump in the White House is that his famously thin skin should allow for some truly memorable Twitter rants against some of my least favorite people.  Can you imagine him disinviting the Kennedys and the Clintons from some state affair and broadcasting it on social media?  And my favorite Trump fantasy is the defunding of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.  Can you imagine the panic?  All those completely talentless television and radio personalities vying to remain on the only viable shows (Sesame Street and other kids shows) or trying to find spots at the already beleaguered operations of the other networks.  The beg-athons would have to become epic in scope and basically unending.  Probably for the right size donation you could have Ken Burns as your butler for a couple of years (and a tote bag).

Another way that Trump will probably excel past presidents is press conferences.  I’m trying to imagine how it won’t be entertaining and I just can’t.  I’m guessing that some of the reporters will challenge him from the start and I’m guessing he’ll ban them from the White House.  And if he doesn’t like the articles the White House beat reporters write I wouldn’t be surprised if he starts trolling the comments sections of the NYT and WP.  The best will be when he gives exclusive interviews to Ann Coulter and Breitbart’s Milo Yiannopoulis.  The rest of the media will rail against this favoritism and decry the softball questions (as if the Obama deference never happened).  It will be fantastic.

And finally, I look forward to the photo op where he sets the cornerstone for the wall.  That’s when I’ll know we’ve arrived.

Giving Thanks for a Short Respite – Part II

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Giving Thanks for a Short Respite – Part 1

Here we are almost a month after part one of this thread and the warm glow from the election has not dissipated.  If anything, it has increased.  Donald Trump has surprised almost all of the critics (other than the democrat hacks who if even Einstein were the republican candidate would deny he was smart enough to count on his fingers).  His cabinet selections have been good, very good.  Personally, my favorite is the pick for EPA Administrator, Scott Pruitt.  Pruitt is the Oklahoma attorney general and he has been involved in stopping the EPA from imposing CO2 restrictions on the energy industry.  This sort of clear and direct approach to reversing the outrages of the Obama administration, I think, bodes very well for Trump’s success.  In addition, the extreme panic and indignation on exhibit over this particular selection is both amusing and instructive.  These folks realize that they are not dealing with the hapless Bushes or some equally ineffective mainstream republican.  We’re gonna get to move the chains in a big way.

So, I kept my promise and I did not speak about the election or politics with my friends or relatives of the other persuasion at Thanksgiving.  I intend to maintain this policy through to the New Year and possibly beyond.  The idea of separating friends and families from political debate was sound.  No good or gain would come of it.  Anyway, it would be overkill.  I’m so saturated with schadenfreude through reading and watching reports of the progressives’ fury and panic that I’m almost poisoned with it.  So, I’m done with it.

The time is better spent enjoying the holidays.  There are books and movies to read and see.  There are grandsons, nephews and nieces to regale with tall tales and bribe with presents.  There will be mountains of splendiferous food; lobster, lamb, turkey, ham, lasagna, sausage and bean soup, eggplant parmigiana and breads, rice and potato dishes enough to feed a small village.  After that we’ll eat desserts until diabetic shock sets in.  Pies; apple, blueberry, strawberry rhubarb, coconut custard, sweet potato, Boston crème and three kinds of pumpkin.  Pastries; sfogliatelle, lobster tails, tiramisu and several kinds of cannoli.  And we’ll drink gallons of coffee.  And for those who indulge, there’ll be enough wine and booze to float a boat.

So, looking ahead to the Inauguration and the First 100 Days what should we expect?  I think the question that needs to be answered is whether Senator McConnell has the stomach to go nuclear to get the cabinet and supreme court appointments confirmed.  Recently he’s showed some backbone but it’s too soon to say.  Luckily, McConnell is about to find out that pressure can come from both sides of the divide.  I don’t doubt that Trump will use the bully pulpit and public opinion to get what he needs.  After that I’m assuming we’ll see a bunch of Obama executive actions rescinded and new ones put in place.  Also, I think we’ll hear what will be replacing Obamacare and how the immigration measures will be initiated.  Eventually I hope to see how Trump plans to increase employment.  Changes to the corporate tax code to encourage increases to domestic employment would be the best way.

So, here’s to everybody’s holidays.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  Enjoy yourself and save your energy for 2017 and the fireworks to come.

Trump vs. the Cabinet Picks

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Donald Trump (DT):  Pence!  Where the hell have you gone now!  Will you get in here?  I need your so-called opinion.

Mike Pence (MP):  I’m right here Mr. Trump.  I was just on the phone with George Stephanopoulos.  He wanted to know if you were sorry for your history of hate speech against a metabolically challenged member of the LGBTQ community.

DT:  What?  Who the hell is he talking about?

MP:  I think he was talking about Rosie O’Donnell.

DT:  You can tell that muppet troll of a fake journalist that he can kiss my ass.  Now come on.  We have work to do.

MP:  How can I help?

DT:  I don’t like these picks we’re getting for the Cabinet.  These guys are all old and boring.  I mean Romney?  We need someone tough and smart.

MP:  Well, sir, what qualification would you rate as most important; confirmability, expertise, loyalty?

DT:   Balls.

MP:  Excuse me?

DT:  I want somebody who’s not afraid to tell the Press or Congress or the Europeans to pound sand when they start whining.

MP:  Mr. Trump, I don’t think you understand the art of compromise.

DT:  I don’t do compromise.  I fight.  I get what I want by knowing what the other guy will and won’t do.  That’s the kind of men I want working for me.

MP:  Could you give me some examples of this type of man?

DT:  Of course.  The history books are full of them.  Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan, Vlad the Impaler, Alexander the Great, Napoleon.  All my heroes.

MP:  Sir, those are brutal conquerors.  They hardly reflect the American spirit.

DT:  Fine.  How about George Washington, Andrew Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, George E. Patton, Robert E. Lee?  They were Americans, weren’t they?

MP:  Yes, but those are wartime leaders.  We’re at peace.

DT:  Bull!  We’ve been at war in this country for over a hundred years with the communists.  I need men who know how to fight.

MP:  Nevertheless, I don’t think men of that caliber exist today.  Where could you find them?

DT:  Pence, did your mother ever give birth to any children that lived?  The military of course.  All those high-ranking officers that Obama fired for not kowtowing to the LGBTQ mafia.  They’ll be perfect.

MP:  Mr. Trump, that’s brilliant!  I’ll get right on it.

DT:   Ding, ding, ding.  Finally, you hear.  Hey, do me a favor.  See what you can do about returning the name to War Department.  I think that kind of rebranding will attract the right kind of recruit.

MP:  Yes, sir.

DT:  And find out if I can transfer the Corporation for Public Broadcasting into the Army.  I have this idea about having Big Bird court-martialed and hanged for treason.

MP:  Uhhh, okay?