Disaster Accomplished

I watched Dementia Joe’s latest weasel speech.  Biden’s handlers must have told him that the best way to sell the message that his humiliating rout out of Kabul was a great success was to shout it from the podium as loud as he could.  This speech was long and stupid.  Much of it was the same boilerplate he gave us a few days ago when he told us he wouldn’t leave anyone behind.  Now he’s telling us that the hundreds of Americans trapped behind enemy lines got what they deserved because they were warned.

Joe also told us that the mission went as planned.  He specifically says that there was no way that civilians could have been successfully and completely evacuated before the rout.  And since he is the greatest military strategist since Napoleon, we have to take his word for it.  And he waved the flag for the soldiers killed at the airport and he patted himself on the back for ending the war.  But it mostly sounded like a salesman trying to convince a customer that the broken Timex he had received was exactly as good as the Rolex he had paid for.

I think it’s good that the American people have had a chance to see Joe during a crisis.  It will show them just how he’ll handle any difficult task.  He’ll botch it.  He’ll blame other people.  Then he’ll tell you there was no other way it could have ended.  Disaster accomplished!  Joe is always the hero in all his stories.  He’s the smartest, the bravest and the most honorable.  If you don’t believe him, he’ll tell you again only louder.

I’m trying to guess what the next disaster will be.  I’d say most likely it will be a hostage drama involving ISIS-K and one of the Left Behind Americans in Kabul.  Joe can yell at the top of his lungs that the hostage got what she deserved and that he’ll avenge the death by sending a drone strike from “over the horizon.”  Of course, the drone will probably kill another half dozen Afghani kids and miss the terrorists but once again it will be disaster accomplished.

Three more years of this may be enough even for the stupid suburban white women who voted for Joe.  There are indications that stagflation is taking hold in the economy.  If memory serves me correctly, the last time that word was used was when Jimmy Carter was bumbling his way through the late seventies.  Twenty percent mortgages and 8% unemployment are a powerful combination.  So powerful that even the Karens may rethink their hatred of Donald Trump.

But it’s way too early to say what new catastrophe Joe will step in next.  He still has to clean up the Hurricane Ida debacle and who knows, with his luck cholera will break out and make everybody forget COVID.  Or maybe the price of oil will spike and gasoline will reach ten dollars a gallon.  Now that sounds like something that Joe can really sink his porcelain teeth into.  I wonder who he’ll blame?  Probably Trump for not finishing that darn pipeline.