Month: September 2023

Where the Hell is photog?

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For the last three or four days I’ve been dying.  I guess it’s the latest bout of COVID.  Coughing, congestion, headache, possible heart failure, possible kidney failure, possible dementia; the whole nine yards.  So add that to the arrival of Little Evil Dog and my subsequent abandonment by Camera Girl and you can only imagine the desperate straits I’ve been living through.

I cried out from the wilderness, “Camera Girl, Camera Girl, why hast thou forsaken me?!”

Slowly, slowly, I have stepped back from the very threshold of Death itself.  Today I was able to ingest “hammy eggy” (actually; scrambled eggs, pumpernickel bagel and coffee) and can once again take my rightful place on the cultural firing line.  And my brush with the Grim Reaper has renewed my lust for life.  Everything seems new again.  For me once again Kamala Harris lights up the world with her psychedelic stupidity, her florescent numbskullery.  I long to hear her discuss the space program or quantum entanglement or even school buses.

Give me AOC and Jeffrey Nadler arguing for more homeless migrants in the face of an angry mob of New Yorkers shouting “Build the Wall.”  Give me clips of Joe Biden misreading a teleprompter in front of a crowd of Vietnamese airport baggage handlers.  Let me be serenaded by Mitt Romney providing the Republican case for pedophilia.  It’s all back and it’s all new again.

I feel like George Bailey running down Main Street, Bedford Falls at the end of “It’s Wonderful Life.”  He knows he will be sent to prison for the rest of his life because Uncle Billy is an alcoholic doofus but by golly there’s still that last glass of scotch from Nick at Martini’s.  And where has that Violet Bick gotten to anyway?  That’s a very interesting situation!  Maybe she’s still at the bus station.  Hmmm.

Seriously, I was a little under the weather.  If I had blogged anything yesterday it would have been incoherent at best.  Of course, some might say it wouldn’t have been noticed but I hold myself to a higher standard.  If I can’t remember the laptop password I step away from the keyboard.  It’s as simple as that.

Luckily I didn’t miss anything yesterday.  Our march to Idiocracy continues at its relentless, steady pace.  No more and no fewer than fifty thousand illegal aliens crossed the border.  The requisite number of law suits were filed against Donald Trump and Joe Biden sent another billion dollars to the Ukraine.  God’s in his heaven and all’s right with the world.

As I screech like a baby raven in the nest for Camera Girl’s attention to get my fair share of her domestic and medical care I feel renewed purpose in documenting our civilization’s dizzy descent into the maelstrom of voluntary self-annihilation.  I find myself now calm about witnessing the plunge into Charybdis.  After all, it’s a very important story.  The death of a mighty empire like ours only happens once every thousand years or so.  Recording its death throes is a worthy project and I’ll be following in the footsteps of such worthies as Thucydides and St. Augustine.  Of course mine is more of an Aristophanic or Mad magazine version.  Nevertheless, posterity will honor me.

So here we go.

Tucker Interviews Argentina’s Milei

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Milei is believed to be favored to win the Argentinian presidency next month.  Why is this interesting?  Because Milei is a libertarian economist and an enemy of the Left.  Argentina is an economic basket case with hyperinflation and a socialist government that guarantees that things will never get better.  But maybe things have become so dysfunctional that even the cradle to grave socialists know that something has to change.

Leave it to Tucker to find someone interesting to talk to.  This guy even has a Trump-like haircut!  It’s a half hour long so there is that.  What I find interesting is that revolt against the Left is springing up in multiple places at once.  Maybe it’s a case of when things can’t go on, they won’t go on.  Or maybe this is just the death rattle of freedom.

The “Real” Reason Romney is not Running for Re-Election

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I just read as much as I could stand of an impossibly long article in the Atlantic about the “real” reason Mitt Romney is leaving the Senate.  Apparently he’s afraid that someone’s going to try and shoot him.

Well, I guess he knows best.  And then again maybe he just knows that this time around he’d lose in the primary.  That’s right, despite his assurances in 2012 that he was a severe conservative I think his track record has finally caught up with him, even in sympathetic Utah.  His fellow LDS brethren have figured out he’s a fraud and are getting ready to kick him to the curb.

So let’s chalk this up to Mitt seeing what happened to Liz Cheney and the other Never-Trumper Republicans and figuring he could save the money he’d otherwise lose and ride off into the sunset.  So he gave that phony baloney excuse about fear of assassination and will look for a blue state that needs a manager to help monetize whatever aspects of government they can before going bankrupt and become their governor.  California looks primed for a Mitt makeover.

I have to apologize.  Two Mitt articles in two days is a bit much.  But I figured everyone could use a laugh.  The image of Mitt Romney as some kind of martyr to his political convictions is too absurd not to produce at least a chuckle.  Instead of assassination I could imagine him being stalked by Nelson Muntz from the Simpsons who would dispense a Wet Willie, some noogies and maybe a Swirlie.  But nothing more dangerous than spoiling his make-up and hairdo.

Dumping Dementia Joe

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The talking heads at the Washington Post and NBC admit that off-camera every Democrat says Joe Biden is too old to run for re-election.  David Ignatius came out and said in a column in the Washington Post that Biden should step aside.  And even political hack Joe Scarborough as much as admits on-air that every Democrat he’s spoken to knows that Biden is seen by the whole country as a feeble old man who can’t get out three sentences in a row without either uttering some obvious lie or gibbering some incomprehensible mush.

Well, well.  I guess 39% favorability ratings will work wonders for the Democrats’ honesty.  A few weeks ago, Joe Biden was a paragon of intellectual prowess and the greatest political orator since Demosthenes.  Now, somehow, he’s unfit to be understudy for Bozo the Clown.  Remarkable.

So, it’s beginning and according to Ignatius, there’s only a month or two left to set up a primary season for a Democratic replacement.  Wonderful.  RFK Jr. is the only one currently on the stump for the Democrats.  And just last week Gavin Newsome went on the record to say he wasn’t going to run in 2024.  Many people said he’d be the fair-haired boy that the Democrats would throw into the fray to give the Trump-hating suburban white women someone to vote for.  But he can’t change his mind this week, can he?

Wanna bet?

So, which will it be?  Is it a feint or will they force Biden out?  You know?  I don’t even think they know yet.  But I don’t doubt they’ll start up the primary machine anyway.  Some of the pathetic losers from 2020 will start making noises like candidates and donors will start commissioning polls to see how the public views Mayor Pete or Gavin Newsome or Michelle Obama.  The fun part will be how Joe Biden will start to sulk and try to be more presidential.  Maybe he’ll declare war on Serbia.  Or Afghanistan.  After all he could use some of the military hardware he left there for the Ukraine war.

Or maybe he could declare another war on cancer or fund a bullet train that runs on wind power.  It could have a two-hundred-foot-tall wind turbine on top of the train.  I can just see it.  Acela Joe would ride that baby back and forth from the White House to the Delaware shore.  Inspiring story.

You’ve got to give the Democrats full marks for effort.  They’ve put a bet down on red and one on black and one on double zero.  And because they’re using our money they can’t lose.  But somehow it still seems that even if they can’t lose elections anymore, they’re losing the country.  The misery index is weighing down the citizens every which way.  The cost of everything they need is way up.  The quality of everything is way down.  And everyone is at everyone else’s throat.

And it’s still a year and a little more before the election.  Maybe by next summer none of the Democrats will even want the White House.  And who could blame them?  By then California will be one enormous homeless encampment and Eric Adams will be a patient in the Bellevue psych ward and Ukrainian freedom fighters will be carrying out terrorist attacks in Boston to convince the White House to provide ICBMs for the faltering war in Kiev.

But I digress.  By November of this year, we’ll know if Joe’s gonna get the old heave-ho.  Personally, I’d hate to see him go.  He’s been great for comedy but the show must go on and I could just as easily adapt to Mayor Pete bringing the First Gentleman to the White House.  No joke!