You may be asking yourself, is photog becoming demented? Didn’t he already write a review of Them!? The answers to those questions are yes and no. I have referenced Them in several posts about cheesy 1950s science fiction movies. But it has never gotten its own exclusive treatment. Well, I mean to remedy that situation, pronto.
Them! is the grand-daddy of all atomic energy fear films. Instead of fearing cancer and radiation sickness we are provided with a much more rational fear, giant ants. It is 1954 and nine years after the first atomic bomb was tested at White Sands, New Mexico. During those nine years ants have been traipsing around the New Mexico desert ignorant of their future as future contenders for mankind’s crown as King of the Earth. But the wait is over. A small prop plane is inexplicably cruising over the desert and spots a little girl holding a doll aimlessly walking in the hot sun. The pilot alerts a nearby police cruiser which intercepts the little girl and finds that she’s catatonic. With the help of the pilot they trace her point of origin to a recreational vehicle parked in the desert. On closer inspection the officers discover that one side of the RV has been ripped to shreds. But being crack forensic experts and logical linguists, they proclaim that the RV wall, “wasn’t caved in, it was caved out.” Whoever wrote the deathless prose of this dialog is partly responsible for the sad position we currently find ourselves in, vis-à-vis cultural and actual illiteracy. Later on, the policeman redeems himself when at a general store that has been similarly destroyed, he declares, “this wasn’t pushed in, it was pulled out.” Okay, stupid rant over.
Based on blood found in the RV the officers determine that the girl is the only survivor of an attack. On the way back from finding the girl and the trailer they stop off at a local general store and find it similarly damaged and the store owner brutally killed. One of the police officers, Ed Blackburn is left at the store to guard the remains. His partner, Sgt. Ben Peterson played by James Whitmore, drives off and shortly afterward, Blackburn is heard off camera firing his revolver at some thing and then screaming as he suffers horrible death.
Evidence found at the site of the RV, a foot print, is sent to the FBI for identification and so the story moves on to its next logical step, Santa Claus is called in. Or more precisely Edmund Gwenn who played Santa Claus in Miracle on 34th Street. Gwenn plays Dr. Harold Medford a world-renowned myrmecologist who with his myrmecologist daughter have come to lead the effort to save the world from the giant ants. Representing the government is FBI agent Robert Graham played by James Arness. Arness who later found fame as Marshall Dillon on TV’s Gunsmoke is the brave, competent hero of the movie and the love interest for the myrmecologist daughter. And to provide local color Ben Peterson is always on hand to provide the comic relief.
With the help of the scientists, the army locates the giant ant nest and destroy it with cyanide gas. But after inspecting the inside of the nest the scientists break the bad news. New queen ants have escaped the nest and will be forming new nests elsewhere. Now a war room is set up and armed forces from all the services mobilize to battle the giant ants on land, on sea and in the air. Dunt, dunt, daaaah!!!
The final showdown takes place where it must, in the storm drains of Los Angeles. And in fitting fashion, the ants capture two little boys who wander into their nest and are rescued by the US Army. Unfortunately, Ben Peterson dies saving the boys but dies the good death of a hero. And when the ants are finally finished off Dr. Medford gives a speech and tells us that the atomic age is fraught with danger and giant insects.
Despite how thoroughly I’ve mocked this movie, I actually enjoy it immensely. Other than the laughably fake animatronic ants the production values for the movie are quite good and the actors are actually very effective for the most part, including the character actors performing the bit parts as police, military and civilian participants. My favorite scenes are where the scientific expertise of the Medfords is showcased for the benefit of the poor ignorant soldiers and police. While under attack from their first giant ant Dr. Medford makes sure he uses the Latin singular and plural versions of the word antenna when instructing the police to shoot at the ant. “Shoot the antennae, shoot the antennae,” he yells and once one of these has been shot off he continues “now shoot the other antenna.” In another scene Dr. Medford is attempting to convince the Pentagon that the giant ants are an existential threat to humanity and he uses an ant film clip that looks like it could have been made by my high school biology teacher.
Them! is a wonderful time capsule of the 1950s. Americans are the good guys and giant ants are definitely bad. What could be simpler?
