28NOV2021 – OCF Update – This’N’That

Good morning my fellow normal people.  Welcome to another day of figuring out how to navigate Crazyland.  I looked through the articles this morning.  Same old, same old.  You know, things like Dementia Joe can’t figure out how gas prices went up and he’s asking the Justice Department to pummel the Law of Supply and Demand into submission.  Brilliant stuff like that.

I read an impassioned defense of woke-ism by some idiot who was re-animating slavery for the millionth time to justify anti-white racism.  So here we are a hundred and fifty plus years after slavery and somehow it’s still busy oppressing people left and right.

Alright, so let’s look at slavery.  Well, slavery is really bad.  So we had slavery here.  We don’t anymore but, yes we had slavery.  But you know what’s worse than slavery?  Cannibalism.  And you know where cannibalism was (and to some extent is) a real thing?  Africa.  All the way up to the present day cannibalism existed there.  Back in the 1800’s if two tribes had a war, the winners collected up the dead and the wounded and butchered them for lunch.

And there was plenty of slavery in Africa but when someone wasn’t that useful for work he went in the pot.  So if you were someone who was captured as a prisoner after a war and you had a choice between being sent on a hellish slave ship to a distant land to work your life away as a slave or have your throat cut and end up as stew which would you pick?

It’s a fair question.  I’m not sure what I’d do.  But these weren’t choices.  They were just the fortunes of war.  If the Arabs were offering a price for slaves that was above the market price for meat then the prisoners went on the boat.  If not they went in the pot.

The remarkable thing is we decided slavery was wrong on our own.  I think that alone is reason enough for all this woke nonsense to be refuted.  Comparing its track record to that of any other civilization that we know of, the Western world has been remarkably generous with other peoples.  The Arabs and the Turks kept slaves.  It never occurred to them to free them as a matter of moral duty.

Anyway it’s something to think about when the wokesters start yammering about slavery.  Of course I am waiting for cannibalism to emerge here.  I figure California or New York are the most likely places but who knows?  Maybe some artisanal entrepreneur right here in Dunwich could get the thing going.  They’ll probably put out a full-color magazine, well at least an e-zine, and maybe a cable show.  It really makes you think, doesn’t it.

I’m still suffering from the Omicron Variant.  I’m presently using a home-made ventilator to keep me alive.  It makes typing difficult but what can you do?  I went through the patent for Ivermectin and hope to whip up a batch after lunch but, once again, ventilator in the way.  The sun’s not out today so it’s pretty dreary here at the Compound.  In less than a month the winter Solstice will occur I’ll have to build the stone altar and sacrifice a shoggoth or a werewolf or maybe an ear of corn (inflation) at the appointed hour when the portal opens in the sky and Azathoth and the blind idiot pipers materialize in our space-time.  After they gorge themselves on the sacrifice, I’ll invite them in for a glass of eggnog and talk about what they’re planning for Christmas.  I hear Cthulhu already has his lights up and is inviting folks over to see them.  Considering his track record on eating guests, I think I’ll just wait till he puts up a photo on his site.

So I’ll have to be cured of this wretched virus by then or I’ll catch my death of cold outside.  I wonder what they’ll name the variants after they get up to Omega?  Anyway, I should have something interesting to write about later today.  Have a nice day.

It! The Terror from Beyond Space – A Science Fiction Movie Review

I’ll give the plot of this movie in a very short synopsis.  The first manned trip to Mars ends with all but one of the ten-man-crew dead.  A rescue mission takes survivor, Col. Carruthers aboard to bring him back for a court martial for his alleged murder of his crew mates.  On the voyage home they discover that a Martian creature who must have been the killer of the first crew is aboard and is now killing them.  The movie is mostly about the crew’s attempt to kill the monster before he finishes them all off.

Alright, how do I hate this movie, let me count the ways.

  • The special effects consist of a big guy in a rubber monster suit, a couple of rooms outfitted with ship’s ladders and fake metal bulkhead hatches, really bad fake spacesuits, some star backgrounds with comets and meteors moving by every once in a while, and a model of a space ship. That’s it.
  • The script is seriously underwhelming. During the first quarter of the film most of the dialog is the crew taunting Carruthers trying to goad him into confessing to the murder of his crewmates.  After the monster comes on the scene all they do is walk around the small sets whining about how nothing they do seems to affect the monster and bemoaning the death of their shipmates.
  • On the second mission to Mars they brought girls! Sure, sure, I know, they’re nurses or something.  They’re always putting a bandage on Carruthers or an IV bottle on “Van.”  But they even had to start up a love triangle between the less homely nurse and Carruthers and Van.  Even in the face of imminent death at the hands (or three fingered claws) of “It!” we still have to endure hand holding and soul-searching looks into each other’s eyes.
  • The monster is ridiculous. Its face hands and feet are so obviously latex rubber that it’s embarrassing.  When he catches any of the crew, he pummels the victim by windmilling his ridiculous arms.  According to more homely nurse this treatment breaks every bone in the victim’s body.  But remarkably the victim isn’t killed.  Instead, the monster stows them in the ventilation system where they are retrieved so that the monster can suck the water and oxygen from their bodies.  Also, the monster sounds like he has asthma.
  • The movie is only 68 minutes long. Now normally that would be a fault.  But in this case brevity is a great virtue.

After failing to kill the monster with bullets, grenades, poison gas and bazooka they finally settle on emptying the ship’s atmosphere into space thus asphyxiating him.  They make a big deal of the fact that the monster has large lungs because of the thin atmosphere on Mars.  Why that would make him more vulnerable to asphyxia I couldn’t possibly say.  And once the air is all gone, he quickly expires as did my patience.

The fairly familiar character actors in this movie like Marshall Thompson and Dabbs Greer had an impossible task to make this turkey watchable.  It’s not as awful as ‘Plan Nine from Outer Space” so it can’t be watched for laughs.  It’s just schlock.  Unless you really enjoy bad old sci-fi, I recommend giving this one a pass.

Newsom Vows Action Against Looting. Plans to Sue Mfgrs of Crowbars and Hammers

Governor Noisome vowed today not to rest until all tool manufacturers who produce crow bars and hammers have paid for the billions of dollars of merchandise stolen in the recent rash of smash and grab robberies.

Governor Nuisance further vowed that anyone who persisted in calling the robberies “looting” would also pay a heavy price.  “Stigmatizing these BIPOC young people with the dog whistle code “looters” is very detrimental to their feelings of self esteem.  Everyone knows that if the hammers weren’t there these robberies obviously would not occur.” he said.

When confronted with this charge the CEO of Stanley Black and Decker stuttered for a few seconds and said that the Director of Equity, Inclusivity and Diversity would respond today with a program to put an end to “white privilege” in the tool aisle.  He said, “The idea that crow bars and hammers are a necessary part of the tool box is obviously another symptom of systemic racism.

Governor Nooseloose responded to this response by breaking into semi-precious metaphors about rainbows, unicorns and potato salad.  Film at 11.

27NOV2021 – OCF Update – The Curse Has Come Upon Me

Well it had to happen eventually.  That it held off until my Thanksgiving hosting was over last night was a gift I should appreciate.

I’m a little under the weather.  I blame the Omicron Variant.  I should never have gone on that Zimbabwe Big Game Safari but who could resist the thrill of shooting and stuffing the last Black Rhino in the world?  I will have him displayed in the smaller trophy room next to my Yeti and the Blue Whale that got stuck in my larger anchovy net.

Now that the first holiday food onslaught is done I will clear my thoughts for whatever new disasters Dementia Joe has planned for us this week.  They’re bound to be impressive.  With his colon cleared of all obstructions his mind will be razor sharp.  December promises to be a gaffe-tastic extravaganza.  My hope is for a cat fight between AOC and Pelosi on the floor of the House chamber.  My money is on that old bag Nancy.  I think she keeps a razor hidden in her fake eye.  AOC’s just not ready yet.

So stay tuned.  If I don’t succumb to the Bungle from the Jungle I’ll faithfully opine on the comedies of our times.

27NOV2021 – Quote of the Day

Always judge your fellow passengers to be the opposite of what they strive to appear to be.

For instance, a military man is not quarrelsome, for no man doubts his courage; but a snob is.

A clergyman is not over strait- laced, for his piety is not questioned; but a cheat is.

A lawyer is not apt to be argumentative; but an actor is.

A woman that is all smiles and graces is a vixen at heart : snakes fascinate.

A stranger that is obsequious and over-civil without apparent cause is treacherous: cats that purr are apt to bite and scratch.

Pride is one thing, assumption is another; the latter must always get the cold shoulder, for whoever shews it is no gentleman: men never affect to be what they are, but what they are not. The only man who really is what he appears to be is — a gentleman.

Thomas Chandler Haliburton