Newsom Vows Action Against Looting. Plans to Sue Mfgrs of Crowbars and Hammers

Governor Noisome vowed today not to rest until all tool manufacturers who produce crow bars and hammers have paid for the billions of dollars of merchandise stolen in the recent rash of smash and grab robberies.

Governor Nuisance further vowed that anyone who persisted in calling the robberies “looting” would also pay a heavy price.  “Stigmatizing these BIPOC young people with the dog whistle code “looters” is very detrimental to their feelings of self esteem.  Everyone knows that if the hammers weren’t there these robberies obviously would not occur.” he said.

When confronted with this charge the CEO of Stanley Black and Decker stuttered for a few seconds and said that the Director of Equity, Inclusivity and Diversity would respond today with a program to put an end to “white privilege” in the tool aisle.  He said, “The idea that crow bars and hammers are a necessary part of the tool box is obviously another symptom of systemic racism.

Governor Nooseloose responded to this response by breaking into semi-precious metaphors about rainbows, unicorns and potato salad.  Film at 11.

Give the Black Guy a Chance

Come on Black and Brown folks of California it’s finally your big chance to really stick it to the man.  Gavin Newsom is dissing a black man, Larry Elder.  It’s your big chance to kick the white man to the curb and put one of your own in charge.  White privilege, whiteness, unconscious bias, whatever you want to call it.  Here’s your shot at putting one of your people in the big chair.  And from my point of view he couldn’t possibly do any worse than Gavin Nuisance.  So take your shot.  His term would be very short.  You’ll get to vote again in a little while so what have you got to lose?

And wouldn’t you love to not have to look at Gavin’s face ever again?

Poor Wittle Gavin Newsom Says Big Bad Recall is “Unfair”

This guy sounds like a big baby..  The big bad Republicans want to take away my toy!

“California Gov. Gavin Newsom said the recall effort against him is unfair and that its impacts will be felt “across the country.””…

“”My sense is, trying to be as objective as someone who is the target of this recall as I possibly can be, I think it will be quite pronounced for many, many years,” he said in response to what he thinks the consequences of a successful recall will be. “I think it will be felt all across the country. I think people haven’t really thought that through. … I don’t think the national Democratic Party is asking themselves that question.””…

“He added that the recall process against him has been weaponized by people with opposing political views.”…

“”I think the opportunity for the Republican Party with the midterm elections coming up, in [Minority Leader] Kevin McCarthy’s backyard, in [House Speaker] Nancy Pelosi’s state, in [Vice President] Kamala Harris’ home state, with California and the values we profess and practice that would be judged in a different light if this was a successful recall — I think it would have profound consequences nationwide,” the governor said.”…

“Newsom named immigration, climate change, health care and the coronavirus pandemic as issues that would be impacted by a recall.”

This clown deserves everything he gets.  How will the United States get along without him?  Well, I guess we’ll just have to muddle along, somehow.  Of course since he’ll be unemployed maybe we can hire him to cut the grass and clean up after the dogs.  Maybe he could be trained to do those things, maybe.

51% of Californians Polled Will Vote to Kick Newsom to the Curb

Now isn’t that special.  Governor Haircut is looking shaky coming up to the last month before the vote.  Larry Elder the black conservative pundit is currently the front running candidate to replace him.  Wouldn’t that be amusing.  None of the Democrats have entered the race because of the disrespect that would show to Governor Nuisance.  I’m not sure if it’s too late for one of them to jump in.  Let’s see how that plays out now that things are getting interesting.

What do you do after you’ve been given the ax as governor of California?  Maybe he can become wine-taster for Aunt Nancy Pelosi.  Or maybe he can sell used cars.  He’s got the hair and teeth.  Most probably he’ll become a lobbyist for the Chinese.  After all they don’t know any better.  They won’t be sure he’s as big a loser as he actually is.

I wonder if this might make him change his mind about more lockdowns.  It really does make you think.