Guest Contributor – The Portly Politico – 25JUN2024 – Coffee Shop Socialism

I’m all for a business owner saying, “Okay, look, we’re going to pay you a living wage to serve coffee, but that means we’re going to have to sell this product at a much higher price than is competitive.” Advertise that to your customers—“we know you’re paying a bit more for this coffee and bagel than you would at our competitors, but you’re putting braces on our employees’ kids’ teeth.”

I frequent coffee shops, and that kind of model really resonates with the middle-class progressive clientele. It taps into the crusader/moralist mentality of the woke Left in what I think could be a productive way: the soyboy buying his coffee gets to feel good about “helping the workers”; the workers get more money and benefits.

It’s not sustainable in most businesses, but it could work in this environment. The problem is that progressives, like everyone, ultimately have to think about their personal spending, and raising prices will obviously mean fewer customers overall. Marketing with the right social justice message could mitigate some of that—and some people are very loyal to their preferred coffee shop—but it’s not easy. It sounds like the owner of OCF was trying some of these things and they weren’t working.

The Honeymooners – Complete Series Review – Episode 1 – TV or Not TV

The Kramden’s friends; the Nortons (Ed and Trixie) are getting their second tv set and Alice Kramden tries buttering up her husband Ralph to get their first set.  Ralph rants and raves about the dangers of buying “luxuries” as opposed to his “strategic” savings plan.  But she tells him he’s just cheap.

But Ed comes to Ralph to borrow money to buy the new set because he’s already bought so many appliances on credit that the store has turned him down for the tv set.  Ralph decides that if he and Ed split the cost, they can afford the set together.

Ralph tricks Ed into keeping the set in Ralph’s apartment and thus begins the war to control the channel.  Ed Norton is a devotee of the kid’s outer space serial “Captain Video” complete with his very own space suit helmet.  Ralph wants to watch movies and the prospect of Ed watching the inane space show drives Ralph insane.  And they battle for days until finally Alice admits at the end that Ralph’s instinct not to buy a tv was actually correct.

This first episode has already in place many of the characteristics of the Honeymooners’ set up.  When we first see Alice, she is trying to unclog the kitchen sink with a plunger.  And by the sound effects and Alice’s expression we can tell things didn’t go well.  This is the status quo of the Kramden household.  Ralph’s bus driver’s salary can’t seem to permit Alice’s dreams of a middle-class lifestyle to become reality.  But she never gives up reminding Ralph of these shortcomings.

When Trixie shows up and encourages Alice to use flattery to try and get Ralph to buy a tv set, we recognize the dynamic these two wives are always bumping up against.  Namely, while Ed Norton is somewhat accommodating to Trixie’s opinion, Ralph is vehemently opposed to any compromise on Alice’s requests, especially if they cost even the smallest amount of money.  And another characteristic of the Alice/Ralph dynamic is that after Ralph rejects her request for anything she falls back on mocking his weight.  And finally, the episode leans heavily on the trope that whatever joint venture Ralph and Ed embark on will result in anger, failure and embarrassment.

This is a good representative of the series and has several memorable laughs during the battles between Ralph and Alice but especially between Ralph and Ed.  And it is plain to see that no warm-up period was needed in order for the cast to hit their stride.  The Kramdens and the Nortons are already hitting on all cylinders.

Captain Video: Calling all space rangers, it’s time to blast off with Captain Video and his video rangers.  Hello out there rangers.  This is Captain Video.  Are you all, ready join me in our trip to outer space?

Ed Norton: I am ready O Captain Video!

Captain Video: Let us all put on our official Captain Video Space helmets, adjust disintegrator guns, and now we blast off for Pluto and the Moon!

“Mr. Chairman, I Nominate President Joe Biden’s Reanimated Corpse”

I think a consensus is growing that Joe Biden is one of the “walking dead.”  Okay, maybe technically he’s still alive.  He hasn’t equilibrated to room temperature or anything but essentially he’s a mindless zombie, animated by some occult power that is directly or indirectly tied to voodoo.

And with this consensus comes the necessity of renaming him.  Currently all newscasters make a point of referring to the president as “President Joe Biden.”  It’s never “President Biden.”   It’s as if they’re afraid we might confuse him with some other President Biden.  Perhaps they’re leaving out hope for an eventual President Hunter Biden.  Who knows?

Well, fine, now I want to give him an even more specific name.  I want him designated as “President Joe Biden’s reanimated corpse.”  I think this formulation captures perfectly all of the facets of Biden.  He’s not only Biden, he’s not only the president, but he’s also a zombie in good standing.  Just watching him shambling along moaning, falling down and befouling himself upholds the finest traditions of the classic zombie profile.  And the deathly pallor, vacant stare and incoherent muttering calls up flashbacks of George Romero’s classic Night of the Living Dead.

And in honor of Biden’s homage to this classic film I want to urge that all of Joe’s voters show up on election night dressed as zombies in order to signal their solidarity with our Undead Guy in Chief.  Show up disheveled, spattered in blood and dirt and clutching a half-eaten forearm.  Proudly support the ghoulish incumbent and feel free to gibber and moan when asked which district you’re from.  But at least have the decency to have your driver’s license when you show up.  Don’t be a jerk and waste everybody’s time.

Hopefully the media will have the good sense to arrange a third presidential debate on October 31st.  Only on Halloween will the reanimated corpse of Joe Biden truly reach his full potential and perform at his full capacity.  My hope is that the moderator will be Don Lemon and Undead Joe lives up to his full potential by wandering over to the moderator’s table and devouring Lemon on live tv.  Honestly I think that would be Lemon’s finest hour and it couldn’t hurt Biden’s numbers either.

Regardless of your opinion of Joe vis-a-vis the whole breathing and heart beating thing, you’ll have to agree that we’ve moved into a whole new era with respect to presidential candidates.  Even during Bill Clinton’s time in office we expected the candidates to be lucid, somewhat eloquent and healthy enough to stand on their feet for an hour or two without collapsing or losing control of their sphincters.

Those no longer seem to be necessary.  Anyone who’s watched any of the Biden “glitches” knows that at any moment he can start spouting gibberish or lock up while some normally autonomic function of his body fails and leaves him frozen in place like a mannequin.

I guess what has happened is that president is now a figurehead for the Deep State that runs the executive branch departments and decides on the policies that control the nation.  Okay, let’s say it out loud.  Joe doesn’t really decide anything.  The people who pull his strings do that.  Maybe that makes it easier to pull that lever.

Agenda of the Possible

I have found that accepting my status as an outsider in the American system is a fairly liberating experience.  I’ve reconciled myself to being a pariah and it’s done me a world of good.  No longer needing to fix the socio-political framework of the United States is an enormous relief and clears my mind for tackling problems that I can address and that directly benefit me.

Instead of worrying whether the Democrats will rig the Pennsylvania vote in November, I’m spending my time looking for ways to improve the website and increase my visibility with the people who interest me.  Instead of worrying about what will happen to Donald Trump I will worry about what’s going to happen to Camera Girl and her kids and grandkids.  Instead of worrying about the southern border I’ll worry about my relations with the neighbors here in Dunwich.  All of these are things I can influence and that better my situation.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’d be ecstatic if Donald Trump beats Dementia Joe in November and then somehow dismantles the Deep State.  I’d be doing cartwheels for months if that happened.  But what if it doesn’t happen?  Do I wait around for another four years hoping that we’ll get another chance the next time?  No thanks.  Been there, done that, don’t have the time to wait.  So, the time to start getting on with my life is right now.

After all, when the Roman empire fell in 476 AD the local Roman stone mason didn’t say, “Well that’s that.  Without the emperor handing out contractors’ licenses I’m out of business and I’ll just have to wait until Charlemagne get things going in 800 AD.  No, he just cut a deal with the Visigoths or the Ostrogoths or whatever Goths he could find to pay them his contactor’s license and just stopped chiseling SPQR onto the work he installed.  Instead, he just wrote, “Hurrah for Alaric” or something.  Now maybe in his heart of hearts he hated Alaric’s guts.  And probably he had hated his local Roman tax collector too.  But reality has its own logic.  If the Left has permanently outmaneuvered the Right, then I need to concentrate on outmaneuvering the local bureaucrats and stop waiting for a savior to set me free.

If the people of this country are stupid enough to believe in global warming and pediatric trans-affirming surgery then they deserve everything they get.  For me it means I have to figure out a way to survive stupid.  And now that I’m fully aware of just how dysfunctional and hopelessly broken our political system is I will make it my business to negotiate this minefield of social rot to the very best of my ability.

So, there it is.  My gospel of the red-pilled normie.  I’m going to stop following all the pollsters and Washington watchers.  I’ll leave that to the people who are still trying to arouse the silent or the sleeping or the just plain stupid majority.  I’m looking for those who are already getting things done and for those who have an agenda of the possible.