Category: Trump

Well, They’ve Had Their Second Shot At Trump

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This second guy, Ryan Wesley Routh, has been trying to recruit mercenaries to fight in Ukraine.  Now what do you think is the chance that Mr. Routh doesn’t work for the CIA?

https://nypost.com/2024/09/15/us-news/would-be-trump-assassin-idd-as-ryan-routh-58-of-hawaii-sources/

It’s remarkable that we’re talking about multiple assassination attempts on the Republican candidate for president.  But, no big deal.  Probably a misunderstanding.  Maybe his meds were off.

Imagine if it were Harris.  The cities would be in flames.  Well, will they go for the trifecta?  Probably.

Trustworthy

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Bash:  Hi, I’m Dana Bash and I’m here with Vice President Kamala Harris and Governor Walz and this is the first CNN interview for her presidential campaign.

Walz:  That’s right Dana.  It’s the first!

Bash:  That’s right Governor.  That’s right.  Madame Vice President, how would you describe the direction that your campaign is taking now that the convention is over?

Harris:  I would describe it as joyful Dana.

Walz:  That’s right Dana, joyful.  Full of joy.

Bash:  Okay.  Full of joy.  That’s good.  But is there any more, uh, concrete policy statement or theme to the campaign.

Harris:  Yes Dana.  Without a doubt.  My administration will use all of the resources of the federal government to find, prosecute and imprison that guy that made the compilation of me saying, “unburdened by what was.”  Anyone who would belittle and mock a woman of color who is also Vice President of the United States is obviously a racist and a misogynist.

Walz:  Uh, wait a minute.

Harris:  Hey, I’m talking here Tim!

Walz:  Yes, Madame Vice President.  But…

Harris:  But nothing!  And not only will we convict and possibly execute this monster…

Walz:  Execute?  Wait a minute.

Harris:  Shut up Walz!  I’m going to find everyone who shared this video and arrest them.  And then I’ll find anyone who watched it and arrest them too.  They must all pay.

Bash:  Madame Vice President, maybe you remember how President Biden’s debate performance had a very deleterious effect on his re-election campaign.  Basically, not being able to answer simple policy questions or even speak in complete sentences caused the American people to doubt his competency to continue as president for another term.  What the American people want to know is how they can trust you to tell them the truth about all the important events and policy questions that presidents handle if you withheld the important fact that Joe Biden was a dementia patient for most or all of his term?  How can they find you trustworthy?

Harris:  Trustworthy.  When we say that someone is trustworthy, we are saying that that person is worthy of trust.  And a person who is worthy of trust is trustworthy.  And that is what I am.  I am a trustworthy person who is worthy of trust.  That’s what I am.  And the American people can see a future of me being trustworthy unencumbered by a past where I didn’t tell them that Joe Biden was a little bit demented.

Walz:  Okay, that’s enough.  I can’t do this anymore.  I’m willing to do that tour in Iraq now.  Anything rather than listen to any more of this.  I thought I could just ignore the idiocy.  After all I made believe that BLM was a legitimate cause and that letting them burn down Minneapolis and St. Paul was a reasonable thing for a governor to do.    But listening to Kamala Harris for four years would land me in an asylum.  (STALKS OFF STAGE).

Bash:  In light of current events should we maybe postpone this interview until a later date?

Harris:  I can imagine 2028 unencumbered by memory of this interview.  Maybe 2032?

RFK Jr.

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I watched RFK Jr.’s announcement.  His pulling out of the swing states is a very interesting tactic.  I guess it’s possible he might nudge enough voters into Trump’s column to swing a few of those swing states.  Wouldn’t that be crazy!  From everything I’ve read about Kennedy he seems like a very strange man.  I think I read that he may have pushed one of his wives to commit suicide.  So, like everything else about the American political scene, Kennedy is another weird enigma that makes it easier to believe we’re living through some kind of apocalyptic end time.

But when you separate the man from the message, I have to think that his reasons for opposing the Democrats mostly rings true:

  • Free Speech
  • Ukraine
  • Public Health

And especially the first two issues are so clearly aimed at the disastrous policies that the Democrats have allowed the Deep State to foist on the country.  The campaign by the intelligence agencies to dictate to the social media sites what they can and cannot allow to be said is such a transparent violation of the first amendment that it’s shocking that the Supreme Court hasn’t already taken some direct action against it.  I’m guessing it’s through fear.  After all, where exactly is the Supreme Court’s army?  After the Supreme Court tells the CIA to cease and desist who exactly goes down to the CIA and frog marches them to jail?  Nope.

As for Ukraine, I listened to Kennedy’s description of how the State Department initiated the war and it was spot on.  He might as well have had me write it for all the difference in our ideas about it.  He’s right and unless the Democrats lose the chances of a shooting war with the Russians is probably 100%.

So even though I think RFK Jr. is a weird unsympathetic character (a Kennedy) I agree with his reasons for not supporting the Democrats and hope that his support for Trump will be enough to throw one or more swing states into the Trump column.  I wondered if maybe Kennedy has someone else who does his thinking for him.  I’m not implying he isn’t intelligent but the fact that the issues he is championing make perfect sense to me doesn’t jibe with the reputation he has for adopting weird fringe causes.  If he had said that he was opposing the Harris campaign because of their stance on alien abduction and probing that would feel like an RFK Jr. signature move.  But I believe in taking the W when it presents itself.  And if a kook suddenly stops spouting gibberish and wants to help my side, I’ll gladly hand him a shovel point him toward the front lines and tell him to start digging foxholes.

On a personal note, I find listening to his horrible voice impediment almost impossible to do.  It’s like listening to someone scraping a steel nail against a slate chalkboard.  It’s physical and mental torture. But regardless of my personal feeling I say, well done Robert Fitzgerald Kennedy Junior.  You have proven that the Kennedy family isn’t a complete and utter waste of everyone’s time.  You’ve done one useful thing in your time on this Earth.  Kudos.

Debate in Dunwich – Part 4

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BISHOP – Welcome to the third and final 2024 Debate between the candidates running for the office of Dunwich First Selectman.  I’m head moderator Uriah Bishop and tonight we’re here with Great Old One Hastur and unfortunately none of his opponents was willing to show up for this last debate.  Probably this is because he cooked and ate his last opponent, Azathoth at the conclusion of the debate.

HASTUR – Oh boo-hoo.  The big mean monster ate one of the other big mean monsters.  Grow up little pastry.  That is my world.  And that is your world too.  Look around you and observe how things really work.  The big fish eats the little fish.  Or bird or cat or man or monster.  Everything else is just make believe.  The strong survive and the weak go to the wall.

BISHOP – Then what is the point of the weak even trying?

HASTUR – The point is you want to breath that sweet air and feel your blood pulse through your veins for the next minute and the minute after that.  You’ll do whatever you can to keep alive.  And because the strong aren’t all that strong.  If you want something bad enough and work hard enough you can survive.  But just remember not to believe the hype.  Remember who you are dealing with.  Me.

BISHOP – And how are you going to run the show?

HASTUR – I intend to simplify things.  I’m gonna get rid of all the make believe.  I’m strong enough not to need the divide and conquer stuff.  I’ll deal with all of you insects at once.  You’ll all get the same deal from me.  You do what I say and the game goes on.  You get to keep your little lives and hoard your crumbs.  But rock the boat and you’ll get my undivided attention.  Now that’s pretty fair.  You might almost call me a humanitarian.  I love all the little people.  Especially with tabasco sauce.  So don’t rock the boat.

BISHOP – Well folks you heard it here first.  Great Old One Hastur has laid out his agenda for his term as First Selectman of Dunwich.  And in retrospect it is surprisingly close to the policy that dearly departed First Selectman Cthulhu followed.  He tended to eat anyone who forced him to break his routine or questioned his orders.  I’m sure we all will adapt easily to this new management.  Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

HASTUR – Sure.  When you think about it, it’s a better deal than you’re getting from Washington.  At least I don’t insist that you pretend to like being eaten alive.  Honest tyranny is preferable to fake democracy.  You don’t have to love Big Brother just stay out of Caesar’s way and live to pull a galley slave’s oar another day.  Besides you can dream about a revolt and how you’ll slit the throats of all the masters one day.  Doesn’t that sound like fun?

BISHOP – Yes, your excellency.  What could be better than that.

HASTUR – That’s the spirit Bishop.  You know I’m starting to like you.  How would you like to be my emissary to the humans.  It doesn’t pay much but if you follow orders, I’ll probably eat you last!

BISHOP – That’s an offer no one could refuse.

HASTUR – Literally.

Debate in Dunwich – Part 3

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BISHOP – Welcome to the second 2024 Debate between the candidates running for the office of Dunwich First Selectman.  I’m head moderator Uriah Bishop and I would introduce my four fellow moderators but they were eaten by candidate Hastur during the first debate.  Well, one wasn’t eaten but he started running as soon as the debate ended and by now, he must be somewhere over the Canadian border.  I will be running the debate but we have suspended all rules associated with the candidates’ actions out of naked fear of being ingested.  So, we expect a lively but chaotic night.

Tonight, our candidates are Hastur and Azathoth also known as the “Blind Idiot God,” but in a positive and non-judgmental way.  Seeing as Hastur scares me worst I will open up the debate by turning over the microphone to him.

HASTUR – Very good human, you managed to avoid immediate death.  Keep up the good work.  Well, Azathoth I see you’ve managed to scrape the cosmic barnacles off your face and show up for this debate.  What do you have to say for yourself?

AZATHOTH – Hey, watch that kind of talk.  Why in my day young whippersnappers knew enough to only speak when they were spoken to.  If you can’t keep a civil tongue in your head, I’ll take you out behind the Crab Nebula and teach you some manners, by gum.

HASTUR – Calm down sleepy Joe.  They don’t call you the Blind Idiot God for nothing.  If we squared off, you’d be lucky not to poke your own eye out with one of your claws.  Now let’s cut to the chase and tell the audience of puny humans what we each hope to achieve as “First Selectman.”  For instance, I hope to ban humans from adding artificial sweeteners to their foods and drinks.  All of these additives build up in human cells and always give me a headache if I have more than two or three humans at a meal.  Especially the female humans with their attempts to lose weight to attract a man.

AZATHOTH – Hey, what do you mean by stereotyping women that way?  That’s obviously sexist and it’s fat-shaming too.  What are you?  Some kind of agent of the patriarchy.  Why I oughta haul off and belt you one, you dog-faced pony soldier, you!  And why do you assume a woman is trying to attract a man.  Are you trying to deny the existence of the LGBTQ?

HASTUR – Okay that’s enough.

(Hastur closes with Azathoth and proceeds to dismember him.  First, he snaps off his lobster-like claws and then all of his remaining limbs.)

AZATHOTH – Ahhhhh!  Ahhhh!  You can’t do that to me.  I’m the supreme deity of the Cthulhu Mythos.

HASTUR – Yeah, yeah, yeah.  But you also taste really good baked with some dipping butter on the side.  So, everyone is invited to join me on the beach tonight for a good old seafood bake.  Bring your own bibs and I’ll provide the sides and beer.

BISHOP – Well, there you have it folks.  Hastur has taken to our New England customs and cuisine surprisingly quickly for an invading intergalactic demigod from another dimension.  And I for one applaud his generosity in hosting this party.  But I will not be attending.  There was no talk of what the side dishes would be and I don’t wish to tempt fate by ending up as one of them.  So, until the next debate this is Uriah Bishop wishing you a good night and nightmare free dreams.

Debate in Dunwich – Part 2

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BISHOP – Welcome to the first 2024 Debate between the candidates running for the office of Dunwich First Selectman.  I’m head moderator Uriah Bishop and along with my four fellow moderators I will be running the debate and handling the time clock and microphones.  We randomly selected the two contestants for tonight’s debate.  They are two of the former First Selectman’s closest relatives; his daughter Cthylla and his half-brother Hastur.

Before we get started I will just explain the rules of the debate.  Each candidate will be given two minutes to answer a question.  If the candidate exceeds that time he will have his microphone shut off and will be penalized a minute for the first offense and two minutes for his second offense.  On the third offense he will lose all right to answer questions.

(At this point Hastur moved toward the moderators’ dais and ate one of the officials.)

HASTUR – Now I will explain my rules.  Every time you say something annoying, I will eat some of you.  First offense I will eat one of you, as I just did.  Second offense two of you.  On the third offense I’ll eat all the rest of the moderators and probably most of the spectators.

BISHOP – Those are very convincing rules.  Can I start the questioning?

HASTUR – Certainly, my little dumpling.

BISHOP – Thank you your titanic excellency.  Cthylla, if you are elected First Selectman, what will be your first official act?

CTHYLLA – That’s easy.  I will change the job title to First Select Person!  We’re in the twentieth century here and this patriarchal sexism will be laid to rest!  And after that I intend to change the pronunciation of Dunwich so that you can hear the w.  I will enact a law that anyone pronouncing it “Dunitch” will be fined a hundred dollars.  Oh, and I intend to make rooftop solar panels and electric cars mandatory.  And …

HASTUR – Alright, that’s enough.  Listen you empty-headed boob.  Why should a Great Old One care what humans name their bureaucrats?  Or how they pronounce their absurd place names.  Basically, they’re cattle for us to herd and then devour.  And as for this stupid “election,” I’m doing this for fun.  If these insignificant maggots vote for anyone but me, I’ll flatten half of Dunwich as an object lesson and start eating a dozen of them daily until they come to me, en masse, and beg me to be their “First Selectman.”

CTHYLLA – Hastur, you can’t talk to me that way.  In the words of my favorite philosopher, my future as the leader of Dunwich is unburdened by what has been.

BOTH FEMALE MODERATOR – You go girl!

(Hastur, once again, ambles over to the Moderators’ dais and eats both female moderators.)

HASTUR – That’s two strikes.

BISHOP – Well, I think this concludes the question period of this debate.  I think we’ll proceed to closing arguments and I will ask Hastur to go first.

HASTUR – Cthylla you are a brainless nincompoop.  How my brother ever spawned anything as vacuous as you is inexplicable.  I recommend you spend your time trying to memorize which are your right and left legs and leave running the known universe to beings with the ruthlessness and intelligence needed to succeed.  If you are any indication of what the next generation of Great Old Ones is like then I shudder to think how we will conquer the giant Martian Beetle Men a billion years from now after I retire to R’lyeh.

BISHOP – Well, I think we should end here.  Although both candidates have spoken passionately, I think it’s fair to say that Hastur has driven home his argument, uh, viscerally.  And for that reason he will advance to the next debate when his opponent will be the Azathoth or as he is sometimes known the “Blind Idiot God.”

HASTUR – I like to call him “Sleepy Joe.”

BISHOP – Well said, well said.  Unfortunately, I will not be moderating at that debate due to a schedule conflict that is unavoidable.

HASTUR – You better avoid it or you’ll have an appointment with my alimentary canal.

BISHOP – I’ve just remembered a cancellation.  I’ll be there of course.

Debate in Dunwich – Part 1

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With the death of First Selectman Cthulhu a power vacuum has formed.  But not a metaphorical one.  The disappearance of Cthulhu has caused an actual rip in the fabric of space-time and various Great Old Ones and their allies and servants have been sucked into our space-time and hurled down to Dunwich.

Sighted so far are:

  • Hastur; the polypous, ravenous floating mass endowed with tentacles, drills, and suckers, or more frequently, as the King in Yellow, a humanoid being wearing tattered, yellow clothes and a mask hiding the face. He is said to be Cthulhu’s (half-)brother.
  • Idh-yaa; A gigantic, pale, worm-like horror dwelling beneath the crust of the star Xoth. She has been Cthulhu’s first bride, and with him spawned three sons—Ghatanothoa, Ythogtha, and Zoth-Ommog—and a younger daughter, Cthylla.
  • Yog-Sothoth; The “All-in-One and One-in-All”, co-rules with Azathoth and exists as the incarnation of time in the cosmos, yet is somehow locked outside the mundane universe.
  • Shub-Niggurath; The “Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young”
  • Nyarlathotep; The “Crawling Chaos”, is the avatar of the Outer Gods, existing as the incarnation of space and functions as an intermediary between the deities of the pantheon and their cults.
  • Azathoth; Sometimes referred to as the “Blind Idiot God”, is a dreaming monster who rules the Outer Gods, created them (along with many other worlds) and thus effectively serves as the supreme deity of the Cthulhu Mythos.

With these Great Old Ones wishing to succeed Cthulhu as the leader of storied Dunwich, these demonic beings have each filled out the necessary paperwork and paid the fees to be placed on the November ballot for the office of First Selectman of Dunwich.  The Town Clerk has posted the ballot in the Dunwich Complainer and a series of debates will take place.  But not in the Town Hall as is typical but rather in an open field on Sentinel Hill where the larger Great Old Ones can more easily fit.

Due to the short window for campaigning there was not sufficient time for any of the candidates to obtain the endorsement of either of the two major parties but since the Democrats are rightly considered the sowers of chaos, any monstrous entity would more or less qualify as a Democrat candidate.

When contacted by the Complainer, only Hastur made himself available for comment.  The polypous, ravenous floating mass endowed with tentacles morphed into his King in Yellow, humanoid wearing tattered, yellow clothes and mask hiding his face form.  But before speaking he morphed into a very Trump-like monster.  He was quoted as saying, “These debates will be the greatest debates and all these other Great Old Ones will be shown to be not very great.  In fact, except for me they will all be terrible.  They will all be like Sleepy Joe Biden; very confused and very stupid.  Especially Azathoth who really is the “Blind Idiot God.”  But he’s not really blind.  He’s just pretending to be blind for the sympathy.  Very sad.  By the end of the debate all of them will drop out and I will be first Selectman.  This I guarantee.”

We at the Dunwich Complainer will follow this race diligently and will shamelessly favor whichever candidate pays us the most advertising revenue.  Stay tuned for this titanic struggle.  Winner take Dunwich.

The Curse of the Cat Ladies

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J D Vance has struck a nerve.  Recently I was at a town event and I was in the presence of a woman who has cats.  I know this because she was talking about her cats to anyone who would listen.  And she was looking for support from other people with cats as she talked about Fluffy or Tabby or whatever her cats were named.  But suddenly she changed gears and started getting angry about someone who had some kind of video on-line about killing cats.  I don’t know if it showed cats being killed (doubtful) or just talked about it as a thing that happens.  But she was very stirred up about this.  She got quite agitated and started swearing about it.  And then she changed gears again and started talking about J D Vance talking about childless cat ladies.  And that got her even angrier and she started swearing at him and saying you don’t mess with cat people.

Needless to say, this was very off-putting.  Seeing an adult in a public place lose control over a discussion about her cats was very unpleasant.  It’s always distasteful being witness to public displays of mental illness.  But what I realized later was that this was a form of virtue signaling.  There was a group of leftists close by and this performance was a public affirmation that disrespecting childless cat ladies will be answered by childless cat ladies flipping out in public.  It reminded me of that famous video clip of the androgynous, shapeless leftist in a yellow raincoat howling nooooooooo! at the sky after Trump’s election in 2016.  It was this primal scream therapy routine, probably more for the benefit of those watching than for any actual emotional release for the screamer.  It was validation of their point of view.

 

I was tempted to reason with this cat lady and inform her that what Vance was doing was just energizing his base by berating the part of the Democrat base that is most despised.  I would have further pointed out that this was a milder form of denigration compared to the Left’s demonization of straight white men and the more generic hatred of “whiteness” in general.

Luckily common sense prevented me from engaging with the crazy childless cat lady (CCCL or C3L for short).  After all she has nothing to lose.  Whiskers or Snowball or whatever her cats are called, could survive a day or two while their “mommy” was in the rubber room for observation.  Whereas, if I were incarcerated for brawling with the C3L I would embarrass Camera Girl and the other normal citizens of Dunwich who know better than to bait the insane.

And it turned out I was smart to refrain from interacting with the C3L.  Later on, that day, at the same event, I noted her sitting on a bench reading a book and every once in a while, emitting a screech or a laugh depending, I guess, on the action of the book.  I assume this was performative but still, someone who acts out like this in public must be close to some kind of mental breakdown.  I will do my best in the future to avoid any contact if possible.

There are an enormous number of highly unstable people on the Left.  After the assassination attempt on Trump, if I were J D Vance, I’d have the secret service scan the crowds at his rallies for anyone emitting very high levels of cat dander and keep them far away from his podium.  Apparently crazy childless cat ladies are very unhappy to be singled out and who knows maybe one of them is even crazier than the one I saw.  J D, it couldn’t hurt to be careful.

Update:

TomD opines:

“I love dogs but I’m partial to cats.”

A7307172

We Lost Joe!  Is Kamala Safe?

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America is coming unhinged.  Suddenly we’re told by the Media that Joe Biden must drop out of the race for president because, supposedly, he had a bad debate.  What bad debate?  His performance was masterful.  He was sharp as a tack.  And he came up with that winning slogan for the campaign, “We finally beat Medicaid.”  I mean, that was world class.  Sure, he had some small slips of the tongue about trillionaires and COVID instead of healthcare but that’s just because he was so excited to tell the American people the good news about Biden-omics and how they were actually making money every time they go to the grocery store or gas station.  I mean, he really does pass a cognitive test every day.  Well, most days anyway.

So some MAGA Republican shills like Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer and Barack Obama staged a coup and forced poor Scranton Joe to drop out just when he was really getting started.  That was hard to watch.  Very hard to watch.  And I’m not even sure it really happened.  Maybe that was a deep fake of Joe conceding the race.  It didn’t sound like him.  He said billionaires instead of trillionaires and he didn’t call Donald Trump his vice president.  The whole thing is very suspicious.

But we can’t undo the past.  Joe’s gone.  He’s probably consoled himself with so much ice cream at this point that he won’t be able to move or speak until October, so the election is gone for him.  What I’m worried about is the same thing happening to Kamala Harris.  What if they run a coup against her?  I don’t care how unburdened she is by the past, if Obama, Schumer and Pelosi show up at her front door in the middle of the night and tell her that she has to step down “for the good of the country,” that good-hearted gal Kamala will sacrifice herself.

But she shouldn’t!

They’ll tell her she’s not popular enough to be elected.  They’ll tell her that giving forty-minute speeches about yellow school buses isn’t a winning strategy.  They’ll tell her that long solipsistic discussions about obvious facts aren’t a winning strategy.  They’ll tell her that replying to a pointed accusation about her painfully long list of failures with a maniacal laugh isn’t a winning strategy.

Who are these people telling her these things.

Well, sure, they’re the election professionals that she’s paying to help her win.  But maybe they’re also MAGA Republican shills who work for Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer and Barack Obama.  Don’t let them “biden” you, Kamala!  You’re better than that.

But even though you’re better than that, don’t let them talk you into a debate with Donald Trump.  Don’t do it.  Donald Trump doesn’t love yellow school buses.  He is completely burdened by what has been.  And he won’t be laughing.

He’s going to blame the border crisis on you.  Even though there is no border crisis.  He’s going to say that you were the “border czar” even though there’s no such thing.  And besides he’s Vladimir Putin’s friend and Putin really is the czar of all the Russias!

And Donald Trump is going to blame the urban crime on you because of the “defund the police” statements that you may (or may not) have made.

In other words, Donald Trump will be using disinformation against you if you agree to debate him.  So don’t you do it babe.  Your best bet is to stay put at the Vice-Presidential residence and don’t answer the door.  It could be a trick.  It could be Jake Tapper, Tucker Carlson or Donald Trump or it could be Pelosi, Schumer and Obama just waiting to catch you in a trap about dropping out for the good of the country.  Well, don’t fall for it.

So, if Kamala will just take my advice and stick to her basement until after COVID, I mean Election Day, she will be elected by a landslide and Donald Trump will stay in prison for a thousand years.  But stay away from the vanilla ice cream, Kamala.  I think it can rot your brain.  And you can’t afford it.