Silly Season – 2021

Definition of “Silly Season”

1: a period (such as late summer) when the mass media often focus on trivial or frivolous matters for lack of major news stories

2: a period marked by frivolous, outlandish, or illogical activity or behavior

 

It’s not late summer yet but when the mercury climbs above 90°F even the Burn-Loot-Murder crowd gets easily overheated and things slow down.  Sure, the professional gang-bangers are making their living and shooting each other off porches and through windshields but that kind of news isn’t very interesting anymore.

With school out for summer the Antifa kids might want to burn down the local police precinct but it’s Pride Month and they have to get the police to protect their freak parade so they’ll take off their black bloc paraphernalia long enough to go down to the local precinct and fill out the paperwork to allow them to float some giant-sized sex toy down main street while dressed as a wombat or whatever other fetish symbol they’ve adopted this week.

What’s a blogger to do?  How will I manufacture sufficient outrage to keep the public interested if all I have is Joe Burden surfacing every few days with another listless mumble about vaccinations or the Fourth of July or white supremacists threatening to tip over the continent or sabotage the summer’s ice cream supply.

I guess I have no choice but to actually think about what I want to write about.  “A thoughtful essay?” you may question.  “Does he do those?”  Well, not normally.  But during the silly season I have three choices.  Either go 100% to non-news topics (entertainment and general knowledge), fly completely off the handle and just rave like a lunatic or spend a little time digging into political and social subjects a little more thoughtfully and try to provide something insightful.

But the truth is insightful is hard.  And it’s hard to pump that kind of stuff out.  In fact, you can’t.  When you try to pump it out it pretty much equals the ravings of a lunatic.  So, during lulls in meaningful political news, I expect to be doing more cultural/entertainment stuff and fewer political items.  But my hope is that the political articles I do publish will be worth reading.

And don’t get too worried that my output will go down much.  There are bound to be a few outrages coming up shortly.  After all, these people are certifiably insane.  Even if they weren’t chock full of anti-psychotics there hasn’t been a moment in decades that they weren’t so removed from reality that they wouldn’t know the difference between a Fourth of July fireworks concert and the burning of the Reichstag.

With respect to meaningful political meditation, of late I’ve been thinking about how I would recognize “the real deal.”  To be more precise, how can I recognize who is truly working towards the re-establishment of the Old Republic and who is just running a grift?  After the exposure of the Bushes and the rest of the RINOs you’d think that we could point to their talking points and know who is the real deal.  After all the people who still whine about “illegal immigration is love” like Jeb Bush are obviously the controlled opposition.  But I think the grifters have gotten cagey.  Even Liz Cheney was smart enough to vote along with President Trump when it looked like he was going to be running things.  It was only after the election was handed to Biden that she showed her true colors.  So, it’s not a foregone conclusion that we know what’s lurking in the minds of men.  And that’s a separate question about how much brains and guts a fellow has.

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been thinking about today.  When I work it up into something interesting, I’ll put it out there.  In the meantime, I’ll be watching that H.P. Lovecraft/Nick Cage collaboration.  The things I do for my readers!

The Dog Days – 2019 Edition

As I’ve mentioned too many times before, there are only two seasons in New England; Winter and July.  And a glance at the calendar tells me that this week it will be time to have the snow blower tuned up and order a couple of tons of road sand (I stay away from salt on account of respect for my well water quality).

But before the horror truly begins it’s allowable to savor the brief ecstasy that July represents.  July this year has been undeniably full-blast summer almost from beginning to end.   It’s been one sunny hot day after another with only a torrential thunderstorm thrown in occasionally to keep the lawn from turning to straw and blowing away.  The only irregularity was a soggy May and June where the lack of sunshine has offset flower bloom and butterfly schedules by at least three weeks.  Only in the last few days have the monarch caterpillars finally appeared on the milkweed and the Black-Eyed-Susans are behind in their flowering by about the same amount.  But actually, that isn’t the worst thing in the world.  It will make August much livelier than typically and will allow me the illusion that Autumn is far, far away.

The other thing that the end of summer heralds is the beginning of the political season.  July and August are the silly season in the news business.  Everyone is on vacation and no one reads the news.  Even blogs see a downturn in readership during this time and compensate by featuring human interest stories, conspiracy theories and scantily clad women.  Here at OCF we can’t afford these fripperies so we make up for it with good old fashioned hard-boiled investigative reporting.  We make the deep dive into the who, what and why behind those headlines you see splashed across the top of the News.  We’re not satisfied with echoing the news.  We’re determined to break the news.  And that is why I’m honored to announce our first scoop of the New England Winter Season.

Creepy Uncle Joe Biden will select Michelle Obama as his running mate.

It seems to be the perfect way for a campaign ticket fronted by Creepy Uncle Joe to add the requisite number of intersectional victim points that he so obviously lacks.  Also, that way, when Biden loses it adds the marginal credibility of having been a VP running mate for when Michelle runs for President in 2024.  For the Dems it’s a win/win.  This lets them vote for an old straight white guy who has the best chance of actually winning but without feeling like sellouts.  And it gives the Obamas a foot back in the White House door.  And now they can reuse all those Obama/Biden buttons and bumper stickers.  They just have to cut the year off.  And flip them around or something.

Now you may ask where this bombshell report originated.  Well, let’s just say that the research was a combination of powerful artificial intelligence search algorithms and the intuition that only comes from decades of good old fashioned hard-boiled investigative reporting.  That’s right, we had Walter Cronkite’s engrams uploaded into a cloud-based matrix and then overlaid them with the programming from the HAL 9000 system.

Well, actually, we really couldn’t do either of those things.  We don’t really know what engrams are and even if we did, we wouldn’t be allowed to mess with Walter Cronkite.  And the HAL 9000 computer never really existed.  So, no, we didn’t do those things.  But we really thought about this a lot and we really think we nailed this.  It’s definitely Michelle Obama, definitely.  Well, there is a small, small chance that it’s actually gonna be Oprah.  Like three to six percent.  And maybe like a half a percent Beyoncé but that’s like not even worth mentioning.

Well there you have it.  Hard hitting news gathered by good old fashioned hard-boiled investigative reporting.  You heard it here first.  It’s Biden/Obama!  Or /Oprah.  Or just possibly / Beyoncé.  One of those for sure!

I think.

 

 

The Silly Season

It’s officially the summer doldrums both on the web and in the real world.  I remember an old science fiction short story called the “Silly Season” that had as a premise that during the summer doldrums newspapers were so starved for real news that they would publish any kind of nonsense just to fill space.  Apparently the Martians knew about this too so they flooded the news with UFO sightings throughout the silly season for several years running.  This had the effect that the papers and their readers became so completely fed up with reading these accounts that when the real invasion began everyone ignored the initial news stories for so long that the humans were conquered before they could react.

That is how I’m beginning to feel about Flynn and Cohen and Manafort and Mueller and Hayden and  Brennan and Clapper and Rice and McCabe and Comey and Page and Stryzk and Rosenstein and, and, and!!!

I am completely and utterly fed up with hearing about these idiots.  I just can’t decide who is playing whom.  Is President Trump about to be dragged off in irons or is Comey and the whole lot of them headed for Guantanamo Bay?  Either way I just can’t care anymore about any of this stuff.  In fact, I can’t even care enough to make a Trump vs. —– parody about it.  The only thing I can think of is to have a parody where he is bored to tears about it.  That seems reasonable.

So anyway, sorry for the lack of output.  But let’s face it, the silly season is in full swing.  If only there were some way to get the Kanamits to load all of the Deep State swamp creatures into the saucer and send them off to that big smorgasbord in the sky.  That at least would be worthy of a parody.