Month: November 2024

Guest Contributor – War Pig – 24NOV2024 – Thanksgiving 2024

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war pig

I prefer butter pecan ice cream. Otherwise, sounds wonderful. I’ll be spending Thanksgiving at my brother’s place as my girls and grandson all have to work the day before and after Thanksgiving and one is on call. My sister-in-law makes wonderful turkey & noodles, mashed potatoes, candied sweet potatoes, sage dressing, oyster dressing and cornbread dressing. I bring the pies. Two pumpkin and two chocolate with a small butterscotch pie for my brother. I also bring the butter pecan ice cream, as well as three dozen homemade cinnamon rolls. The pies are chilled but the rolls come out of the oven right before I leave for his place, 15 minutes away. Still very fragrant when I arrive. They are divided up and taken home for coffee and rolls the next day. Big, puffy, tender and covered with royal icing with a slight hint of rum (his butterscotch pie has bourbon in it).

We’ll watch football and talk about his and my childhood. The rest love to hear about our juvenile escapades, then our military stories. His wife wonders aloud she doesn’t see how we’re still alive. Then it’s time for dessert and all pile in. My children and grandson can’t make it, but I send them pics of everyone.

A Pretty Good Deal

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The holidays are upon us and today we got a taste of them.  A gathering of my children and their families at the Compound was deeply enjoyable.  The youngest grandchildren were triumphantly underfoot.  They had a game where they spaced out some pillows on the living room floor and hopped haphazardly between them to avoid the “lava” that surrounded these tiny islands of safety.  They were a menace to navigation and a real danger to themselves from collision with doors and walls and other solid objects.  So, they kept me busy refereeing their wilder excesses.

And Camera Girl outdid herself in the kitchen.  The food flowed impressively onto the table and then into the mouths of the delighted diners.  I give her all credit except for one decision that I was responsible for.  She had baked a huge Italian cheese cake and a chocolate cake and a chocolate pudding dessert.  Along with whipped cream she declared that no other dessert should be offered.  I insisted that vanilla ice cream must always be available as a component of dessert.  When the dessert was being served, I quizzed the kids about this and the reaction was electric.  They shouted agreement with my position.  Well, Camera Girl must have known in advance that I was right.  Not only did she have a half gallon of   vanilla.  She had chocolate chip and cookies and cream.  I was magnanimous in victory.  I openly applauded her willingness to accept advice and avoid disappointing the future of the family.

We talked about this and that.  Local politics and town affairs like the volunteer fire departments and their trials and tribulations.  And I talked to the kids about the upcoming Thanksgiving celebration here.  I mentioned that they would have the option of joining me in watching my traditional viewing of the 1930s versions of “The March of the Wooden Soldiers” and the Max Fleischer cartoon “Gulliver’s Travels.”  I also mentioned that there would be viewing of some of W.C. Fields’ classic movies, “It’s a Gift” and “The Man on the Flying Trapeze.”  I emphasized that they should take special note of the similarity in behavior of the wife in these movies toward her husband (Fields) to the way that Camera Girl abuses and disrespects me.  I think it’s never too early to use the classics to teach valuable lessons to children about how the world works.  I’m sure Camera Girl heard me making these statements because I detected a growling sound coming from the kitchen at this point.

Well, before we knew it the night was getting along and everyone had to get home to their own things.  After they left, I noted to Camera Girl that it isn’t such a bad world where such nice people can surround us with life and energy with only the cost of some peasant Southern Italian food and desserts needed as fuel.  Sure, the world is falling apart at the seams and Joe Biden is still causing damage everywhere you look.  But things could be much, much worse.  And at least we’ll get to do Thanksgiving and Christmas at least one more time before the world comes to an end.  That’s a pretty good deal.  I’ll take it.

Shatnerkhan VIII Will Have to be Convened

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Shades of Mediocrity!  Mother of Mercy!  Can this be the end of Shatner?  Or at least Kirk?

William Shatner – A Demigod of Bad Acting

Well, here we go again.  You know maybe Trump can appoint Shatner to some kind of ambassadorship to Canada or Hollywood or some other make believe place.  Or maybe Elon can shoot his rotund corroded hulk to Mars as a send-off.

The Jig is Up

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I read today that Rachel Maddow is taking a pay cut over at MSNBC.  She will go from making $30 million to $25 million a year.  Well, I guess she’ll still be able to afford all the lesbian leisure wear and sensible shoes her heart desires.  But it must be devastating knowing she’s already peaked and from now on she’ll have to start clipping out coupons to take that trip to Davos.

I guess the changing world isn’t just impacting the deplorables.  The Masters of the Universe haven’t just disrupted the lives of the factory workers whose factories were shipped off to China but they replaced cable television with on-line video games, TikTok and YouTube.  The market for Maddow, Anderson Cooper and the rest of the cable news “stars” at CNN, MSNBC and even Fox News is rapidly shrinking.  The era of thirty or even twenty-million-dollar cable news contracts is over.  That kind of money is reserved for people who can draw enormous audiences.  Joe Rogan is an example and so are the ”influencers” who have YouTube channels that draw tens of millions of viewers.  Meanwhile CNN and MSNBC can’t even break the hundred thousand viewer mark lately for their crummy shows.  And yet all these shows pay their talent millions of dollars.

That math doesn’t work.  As previously discussed, these cable channels will be spun off from their parent companies and forced to sink or swim.  And the only way they can swim is to either:

  • Reduce their costs down to almost nothing, or
  • Provide value that will attract more customers

But how can people like Joy Reid or Joe Scarborough attract an audience?  They’re talentless hacks.  All they can do is keep reducing their price to match their employer’s death spiral.

But eventually an equilibrium will be reached and a new model will take hold for providing news and opinion to the digital masses.  I’ll be honest I’m not sure exactly what will emerge.  What makes sense is a bunch of subscriptions that run the gamut from hard news outlets that possess reporters in the field, to opinion writers, to entertainers.

Something like that makes sense to me.  After all there was nothing permanent about the cable networks or even the “big three” news teams of the broadcast networks.  All of them were artifacts of the changing landscape created by the waves of innovation in journalism caused by the introduction of first radio, then tv, then cable tv and finally the internet.  All of these were commercial endeavors and each eventually changed shape to accommodate the market forces that developed.

The dominance of leftists in the current media landscape seems to guarantee that the majority of those about to be unemployed will be people I despise.  I can’t pretend that won’t provide me with great satisfaction in the weeks and months ahead.  So many of these people are smug, entitled losers who lack the self-awareness to anticipate what they are heading for.

Well, enough lefty bashing.  Time will tell if what replaces the current system will be an improvement over the MSM.  All I know for sure is that it won’t include Joy Reid and Joe Scarborough pulling down multi-million-dollar salaries.

Trump vs Morning Shmoe and Lycra

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Update:

I don’t normally revive an old post.  But this post from 2017 just seemed timely due to Joe and Mika’s recent antics.  It seems back then I spelled Schmoe without the c.  Well potato, patatta.

 

 

Morning Shmoe (MS) – Welcome back from that commercial break and it’s 13 and 1/8th minutes after the quarter hour and we’re here at the newly refurbished set of the Morning Shmoe Show.  And Lycra Spandexy and I were just saying how much better it is to be us, young and in love and not old and racist like President Trump.

Lycra Spandexy (LS) – Yes, he’s a creep with small hands and bad hair.  He’s not beautiful like me.  I am still very, very young and don’t need a facelift and would never get one and besides it’s called a dermatological procedure and everyone gets them because they’re young and not because they need them.

MS – That’s right sweety.  But this is not about us.  It’s about this very bad man.

LS – Yes, he’s a very bad man.  And there was no blood and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

MS – Okay honey, let’s move on.  So, as you all know we’re deeply in love and being together here on the show and also constantly morning, noon and night, all day every day is great.  We never tire of each other’s company and we do everything together.  Every single blessed thing.      ….        And it’s great!   Really, really, really   …     great.

LS – Yes, and I tell Shmoe every little thing that pops into my head.  Like yesterday when the girl doing my nails told me that I had a cold sore on my lip and I said it was a white-head and she said it was herpes and I told her that my dermatologist told me that you can tell if it’s herpes because you get that tingling feeling ahead of time and then you use the Abreva and then it’s a lot less icky and nobody can notice it under the make-up on the show and I don’t have to go on assignment for a week and that’s really great and I told her that it was a white-head and I knew that because it looked like a white-head and I popped it with a pin and squeezed out the puss and then it hurt but not much and it looks like it will heal without a scab that’s noticeable so I won’t have to go on assignment for a week.  And Shmoe was so interested while he sat there listening and drinking that scotch without the water and I asked him if he wanted some water but he just kept filling up that tumbler and I said, “Boy that’s a lot of scotch and he just kept smiling and nodding his head and it was great.”

MS – Yeah that was great.  Really, really, really   …   great.

LS – But Producer Jorge says we have a caller on the line.  Hello caller, you’re on the Morning Shmoe Show.  What would you like to say?

President Trump (PT) – Hello Lycra, it’s me President Trump.  I was told by some of my friends who are forced to watch terrible shows like yours for a living about the nasty things you’ve been saying about me.  I figured I’d call up and set the record straight.

MS – Trump, you’ve got a lot of nerve calling us up and invading our safe space.  But we’re not scared of you and we won’t be intimidated by your bullying.

PT – I won’t need to bully you, I only want to ask you one question.

MS – What’s that?

PT – Did the network force you to marry her for ratings?  Because if not then I don’t get it.  I mean to have to listen to that blathering for an hour or two in the morning is doable, but all the time?  I mean come on!  Don’t you ever feel like just putting a bullet in your head to stop the incessant babble.

LS – Hah, that’s ridiculous.  Just because you are a cave-man and don’t value women for their intelligence doesn’t mean all men are that way.  Shmoe loves to hear my opinions.  Like this morning when we were in the middle of that long commute from Jersey and I started telling Shmoe about what my mother told me the other day about how when I was a little girl and my sister stole my “My Pretty Pony” doll and I told her to give it back and she said it was hers because she said I promised to give it to her if she told me what Marcy said about me to Charlene but I told her that I found out from Debby what Marcy really said and it wasn’t what she told me and my mother said that I really hurt my sister’s feelings and to this day she still wants that doll and she told my mother that my face looks too tight after that dermatological procedure that I didn’t have done and I told Mom that that was mean and I thought that my sister’s butt had gotten really fat and I wasn’t going to give up the doll.  And then I asked Shmoe wasn’t he going too fast and why was he swerving toward the guard rail and then he laughed and laughed.  And he laughed so hard that a tear was in his eye and then I told him that I was enrolling us in a couple’s yoga class and there was a jazzercise section too.

MS – I’m sorry folks but I’m out of time.    …  BANG.

PT – Thought so.