Category: OCF

Men and Women – The Fish Pond Rorschach Test

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I have known Camera Girl for about forty-eight years.  We met on a beach while each of us was skipping out on our respective high schools.  Physical attraction was the initial force that brought us together but over the years, we have interacted to the point where, we know each other as well as a man and a woman possibly can.  And yet our motivations, methods and objectives are, if anything, even closer to being diametrically opposed now than they were at the beginning.

I like to think that I base my plans on a somewhat analytical approach to accomplishing my objectives.  So, let’s say Camera Girl tells me that she wants a fish pond.  Before committing to such a project, I would first look at the pros and cons of such a goal.  I would ask my client what are the objectives?  How many fish and what type are desired?  What’s the budget for construction and maintenance?

Then I would look at the various options for constructing the pond.  Should it be a liner or a solid shell?  Should I build it or hire a contractor?  Where should it be set up with respect to the sun?  What safety considerations need to be weighed?  When does it need to be completed by?  What additional items (like a bench or some plants) are also required?  What modifications will need to be made to the property (power line, water line) to accommodate the pond?  And finally, how will the pond be impacted on by the surrounding wildlife?

Camera Girl, on the other hand, cleans out an old muck bucket that she has lying round the yard, buys a dozen “shiners” at PetSmart and tells me she wants me to buy a “solar” fountain on Amazon.com for $12.98.

I find this very disconcerting.  I explain to her that the “shiners” will probably die in the bucket over the course of the summer, the fountain is a piece of crappy plastic that will probably stop working after a few weeks and she’ll have to replace fish and water every few weeks.

This perturbs her not the least.  Our granddaughter will be coming over tomorrow and they like looking at the fish in the bucket for a few minutes every day.  And none of my arguments address this goal.

For she knows that if I were to undertake this epic project by the method that I favor, it would involve weeks of planning and months of installation.  Just digging the hole would take a week or two.  So, from her point of view my method has no upside.  A pond that was finished in September is worse than no pond at all.  The weeks when our granddaughter would be without the fish to interact with would be an epic failure.  Because by September she’ll be entering kindergarten and no longer around to enjoy the mega-pond that I would create.

So, shaking my head and grumbling under my breath I look up this magnificent “fountain” and find a plethora of companies selling this same crappy plastic fountain and select the one that will deliver it for a total of $7.53.  This is my consolation.  I paid five bucks less for a piece of junk that probably won’t last through June.

But when all is said and done.  She has logic on her side.  That muck bucket pond is almost an optimized solution to the mission.  A little girl will sprinkle some fish food into it and watch the fish come up to get it.  And even if the fountain stops working and even if the racoons and the herons eat all of the fish on a weekly basis it will have served its purpose.

But my pond would be much better.

The End is in Sight

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Tuesday is the end of my ten-day ordeal.  A Chinese water torture of sorts.  Tomorrow will feel like being beaten for twelve hours with a bag full of oranges but knowing that only a single day stands between me and freedom makes me anxious to get it started.  I anticipate catastrophic failure, mob violence and accusations of mopery and dopery.  But it’s as if I can see the daylight shining through the hole punched through the Earth by the screaming asteroid of doom.  So, I am almost giddy with anticipation.  Bring it on, bring it on, bring it on.

I read most of the news today and other than that Miller Beer manifesto for sucking all the joy out of men drinking beer, I didn’t see anything all that exciting.  There were all the lefty rags admonishing Trump and DeSantis, “Let’s you and him fight!”  And there was that idiot Durham with his 300-page report confirming that the FBI started the Russia-gate investigation without any evidence and yet without any criminal or professional consequences for the conspirators.  There were all the economic warnings of the impending financial meltdown.  There was Biden claiming he was going to prevent the millions of immigrants that he invited to the border from coming in, somehow.  There was the ridiculous budget battle between McCarthy and Biden.

And all sorts of other apocalyptic headlines.  But none of them were ready for prime time quite yet.  I’m curious to see if McCarthy scares Biden into creating a budget.  That would be a major accomplishment.  But we’ll have to wait.

The rest of it is just stuffing to separate the beginning and end of these news sites.  It’s something to keep these journalists off the crack pipe.  Or is it fentanyl now?

I was getting Camera Girl some cold medicine at Wally-mart and I went past the $5 bin of DVDs.  And I spotted a copy of John Wick 1.  Now I saw it when it came out and kinda, sorta enjoyed it.  I mean, it’s so cartoonish that I enjoyed it as a cartoon.  And when the second one came out, I rented it.  And it was too cartoonish to enjoy.  The volume of bullets flying and the sheer numbers of people being shot is dizzying.  It almost gives you motion sickness.  I missed the third one.  And now there’s a fourth one coming out.  So, seeing that copy in the remainder bin of venerable old John Wick 1 made me feel nostalgic for the comfortable 5X speed that I remember from that classic.  After my ordeal is over tomorrow, I’m going to find two hours or whatever it was and watch Keanu Reeves do whatever it is that he does in motion pictures.  Sure, it’s stupid and sure it’s not acting but so what?  Where is there acting anymore?  Certainly not on tv.

Of late Camera Girl has been watching some of the innumerable and interchangeable cop and fireman series that are sprinkled across prime-time network tv.  Once in a while she’ll have one on while I’m in the room and recently I’ve discovered what these shows have become in the last ten years or so.  They’re soap operas.  The most important component of the plot is the girl cops or fire girls or NCIS girls emoting about their feeling to their male counterparts or talking to the other girls about which boy they’re in love with.  Honestly, this is what the women of America think a police precinct or firehouse or SWAT team is all about.  It’s completely unwatchable and I have chastised Camera Girl for her horrible taste in entertainment but being a girl herself she can’t see the problem.  So, I’ve asked her to find some time when I’m out of the house or in a coma to watch this sort of dreck.

So Wednesday I’ll resurface and try to have something somewhat clever to say.  But for now, it’s horror and anticipation that holds me in sway.  Enjoy your Tuesday.  We who are about to die salute you.

What Is There to Say?

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After a while we’ve said everything there is to say about the death trap we’ve walked into.  Everyone of us has read the umpteenth article on the managerial elite and the Global American Empire.  We’ve read the debates back and forth over whether this is a neo-religious cult or a cynical grift that the leaders of the Left have cooked up to keep the drones busy while they pilfer the treasury, or both.  It’s all been said.

So, what’s left?

Well, what’s left is us.  We still have to live.  We can’t just retreat to our living rooms, stop eating and die.  We’ve got things we want to do.  For some it’s family and responsibility.  For others it’s freedom and adventure.  But whatever it is we have to devote a certain amount of our energy to counteracting the intentional harm that our dysfunctional regime heaps upon us in innumerable ways day in and day out.  And chronicling these problems and pointing out the work arounds is one of the useful things that can be done by someone writing about our lives.

And we can pass along stories of victories and defeats.  Maybe one of our guys passes legislation to protect our side from some old or new atrocity.  Maybe some unlucky hero stands up to the thugs and gets railroaded into prison for the rest of his life.  All these things are useful because they teach us about what’s really going on.  Even if these stories find their way into the mainstream media the spin on them makes them almost unrecognizable.  So, the only place where you’ll hear our side of what’s going on is in some source like this.  And it’s the only place where the readers can comment on these events and give their own opinions.

And that’s another function of this activity.  It provides a means for like-minded people to speak their minds and pass information back and forth.  And that is valuable both as a means of communication and to improve morale.  Feeling alone makes our plight almost hopeless and if you can see that others are out there it encourages you to keep going.

And another reason that these sites are useful is that they provide a place for things that the outside world has eliminated.  As the world fills up with TikTok influencers cross-dressing their way into our hearts places like this can review movies and books that reflect the old way of thinking.  I can put up quotes by Thomas Jefferson and Rudyard Kipling that express thoughts that are strictly forbidden by modern leaders of government, academia and even the churches.

And finally, this site can allow us all to have a little fun from time to time by expressing our individuality.  One of the guest contributors can put up a photo or a story that means something to him.  And there may be a resonance in the other viewers.  There’s some camaraderie in being in a hated minority.  The plucky rebels can feel pride in standing up to the evil empire even if it’s just by calling out the crimes they commit.

So, just for today I’ll omit the rant against the managerial elite and the Global American Empire.  They’ll still be there tomorrow.  Today I salute Orion’s Cold Fire and all of its denizens.  From the lurkers and the regulars to the ringleader himself.  Long may we meet and grouse about the world.

Dagon’s Spawn Goes for a Stroll

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Dunwich is the home of more than just Cthulhu himself.  In addition to the First Selectman several of his fellow Great Old Ones inhabit the borders of the township.  For instance, several of Dagon’s descendants inhabit the various lakes, ponds and swamps that overgenerously hydrate the area.  As I’ve often mentioned I am adjacent to one of these swamps and from time to time one of its inhabitants sojourns through or near the grounds.

Today I was in the west field collecting the scattered remains of some cattle that a shoggoth must have devoured there when I heard the sound of tree trunks creaking and cracking under the strain of some horribly massive object forcing its way against them.  As I watched I could see some enormous white pines toppling over far off in the distance.  I cautiously made my way to the location where the trees had fallen and I saw a terrifying sight.  One of the Deep Ones, possibly Dagon’s oldest child was just finishing off the shoggoth as a small meal.  It was of course eating it alive and its victim was changing form and letting out the most horrifying sounds ever heard by a human ear.  Well, except for that time Kamala Harris laughed at one of Biden’s jokes.  That was worse.

When the Deep One was finished with its meal, it belched thunderously and the air was filled with a sulfurous fume that nearly finished me off before the wind changed direction.  Then it hauled its titanic bulk out of the mud and battered a path back into the deeper end of the swamp where it disappeared below the surface with a sickening sucking sound.

Later when the sun had set the foot prints began to glow with a sickly yellow phosphorescence and any creature, insect or amphibian that touched those glowing patches jumped away in pain and rapidly died.  And I happened to witness later that night when an enormous gas bubble broke the surface of the swamp and a yellow glowing fume drifted up.  All the leaves above the pond immediately shriveled up and fell into the water.  I guess the shoggoth was a little greasy even for one of Dagon’s kin.  I wonder if they make Alka seltzer in Great Old One size.

Luckily (or unfortunately) I had my camera with me during the event and I had the presence of mind to capture the great creature returning through the haunted wood.

I intend to send this photographic evidence to the Department of Cryptozoological Studies at Miskatonic University where I studied under the eminent dagonologist Clyde Crashcupp.  With his decades of study and razor-sharp brain he’s sure to earn at least a Nobel prize with this evidence.  I may have to lend him a tux.  He’s kind of a hermit and wears a rope to hold his pants up.

Well, I’d better get back to my chores.  There’s a family of ghouls in the neighborhood and I need to get the fences fixed before they wander by.

10MAY2023 – OCF Update – Just a Note After a Long Day

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Long, long day.  Much too tired to write anything coherent.  And an early morning on top of that.  But I always like to have something up on the site.  I was surrounded by the folks of Dunwich in all their various manifestations.  It was literally the good, the bad and the ugly.  But it was fun and energizing.  Mothers with young children, families, very old folks and everything in between.  And lots of working men too.  All of it full of local color and mostly good humor.  There were a few discordant notes.  Some confused or angry faces.  Folks lashing out or clueless about what is going on around them.  But they’re part of the mosaic.  They’re an aspect of the story.  They represent what the fragmentation of our local society leads to.

I also saw something that explains why the Democrats control New England.  It’s because the Republicans are leaderless.  They don’t organize or even communicate effectively what’s going on or what their goals are.  They’re too busy with their own lives to build anything.  They don’t have the bandwidth to compete with an entrenched Democrat organization.  So, they lose ground steadily.  Leaving is the smart thing to do for the young.  There are more opportunities to improve your own life and the community in a red state.

But all in all, it was an interesting day.  Later on, today I’ll catch up on the news and try to write something substantial.  But as discouraging and frustrating as most of the events going on around me are, I still see that getting involved is the correct strategy.

Well, gotta get some rest.

Whiling Away the Hours

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Today will be a lost day.  I’ll be essentially off the grid until 11 pm.  So, I’ll just put together some thoughts now to cover the day.

I was very happy that American Greatness posted my article “You Gotta Laugh.”  And not only because it multiplies the traffic to my site several fold.  But because it’s nice to get the visibility that a larger spotlight can afford.  Let’s face it, Google and Facebook don’t amplify the reach of right-wing sites.  In fact, it would be accurate to say they hide them.  So, it’s a treat when I can have one of my posts sitting at the top of a webpage that gets thousands of visits per hour.  That was fun.

It really does seem that the message on the street is that Joe Biden isn’t popular.  Could this be the long-awaited pivot to dumping Biden from the 2024 race?  How would that be done?  Some are saying that Gavin Newsome will challenge Biden in the primaries.  Others are saying that’s impossible.  Their alternate theory is Biden will be forced out through revelations about his corrupt influence peddling through his crackhead son Hunter.

Well, if challenging Biden in the primaries is impossible, exactly how does the Deep State keep him from running again?  I mean, I could see them earlier on threatening to reveal his corruption as a way to convince him not to seek re-election.  But if he’s already running, will they be able to convince him to drop out.  I guess it’s possible the media companies could cooperate and fabricate a bunch of polls showing Biden so far down that it convinces the American people that Biden is through and thereby convinces Biden too.  But I’m not sure Biden would take the hint.  He may be convinced that presidential immunity is the only thing that can keep him from being indicted.  Maybe he plans suicide as his way out.  Or maybe he’ll use dementia as his shield from prosecution.

And the other big story is the regional banks tottering on the edge of insolvency as depositors pull their money out.  This is round two of this crisis.  2008 was the first occurrence.  And that first round put our government into permanent emergency mode.  It was that bank crisis that force the whole financial system to adopt zero-interest rates and permanent quantitative easing.

But now because of the sanctions against Russia and the Green New Deal, the administration has unleashed dangerously high inflation.  That forced the Fed to increase interest rates and now all these banks are stuck with billions in underwater government bonds.  Checkmate.

So how does Dopey Joe talk his way out of this one?  Will faking a re-election solve his problem or just ensure that a blowup occurs on his watch?  I really can’t tell.  I have a feeling he’s hoping that a miracle will happen in the next year to make his problems go away.  But I think that’s highly unlikely.  What will probably happen is a pretty serious recession.  All the symptoms are there to see.  Maybe things will get so bad that not even the election fixers can throw this one to Joe.  It’s possible.

But the bad guys have called the shots so far.  We’re forced to sit here and watch this farce.  Well, watch it we will.  I’ve become stoical about the whole thing.  I’m sort of fascinated by the scope of the debacle.  I guess when I’m bankrupt and homeless it’ll feel less theoretical.

But until then I’ll be here babbling about the folly of our elites and their hopeless crusade to make the world safe for woke insanity.  See you tomorrow.

Lifeboat

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Today I had to head out for a work training that I wasn’t looking forward to.  I mean, Saturday?  What is this the 1930s?  And then I thought, yeah, it kinda is.

And in addition, yesterday the ZMan’s “power hour” podcast failed to materialize for almost the first time I can remember.  And it didn’t show up today either, something about his work schedule.  So, I was even more out of my routine for this point of the week.

But every day we have on this Earth is a good day in some sense so I figured I’d see what would develop.  Well, the training was not what I’d call interesting but studying the people turned out to be amusing.  It’s funny how small towns seem to perpetuate “types.”  There’s the politician who’s always doing his schtick and the police officer who immediately sizes up the people in the room.  And you can recognize school teachers and small businessmen and doctors and tradesmen.

And each of these different types approach their time in the group differently and somewhat as adversaries.  Their differences of opinion are extremely predictable and almost stereotypical.  And I’m sure that goes for me too.  Anyone who has been trained as an engineer will fall back on a predictable way of approaching a problem or a project.  I’m sure that the selectman looks at me as a sort of obstacle when any kind of technical issue interferes with something he’s working on.

And so even though the subject matter wasn’t something I wanted to spend my Saturday on I kind of enjoyed interacting with a room of my fellow humans.  It reminded me of that famous Alfred Hitchcock WWII movie “Lifeboat.”  You have a bunch of people who have escaped from an American passenger ship that was sunk by a German U-boat.  They include a cross section of American society from the millionaire industrialist, to the working-class sailors of the sunken ship, with a female newspaper columnist, and a love interest for one of the sailors thrown in to make the movie interesting for the women viewers.  And, of course, they include a German sailor that escaped from the U-boat that also sank.  Watching the “allied” passengers aggravate each other over social differences is even more interesting than the conflict with the Nazi “prisoner” who eventually becomes the leader of the castaways.

I guess if my politics had been known to the other participants some of them at least would probably have likened me to the German U-boat commander.  But regardless, involving yourself with the people around you is a good and necessary thing.  I think a big part of the problem with the blue states is that the Right has refused to get involved in local politics and so by default, it has been taken over by the Left.  How could that not turn into a disaster?  And even in the Red States, allowing other people to make decisions that you’re too busy to worry about is a recipe for disaster.

Of course, for someone in New England it’s all academic.  All the big battles have already been fought and lost.  Our scope only remains in the local town decisions.  And even these are sometimes almost completely circumscribed by state and federal mandates.  But fighting the good fight is still the better way.  Just ceding everything to the Left is lazy and crazy.

So, I returned home feeling somewhat energized instead of drained as I thought I would be.  It’s funny.  People taken one at a time are mostly not so awful.  Obviously, there are the horrible exceptions but I think a lot of those are found in the upper strata of society.  Regular people tend to be regular.  They’re all full of tics and habits and mannerisms and sure they’re all a little crazy at least.  But most of them are kind of hard to truly hate.  I guess the real problem is we’ve never figured out a way to keep the mob from running our lives.  I guess the trick is to be in charge of the mob.

Well anyway I managed to escape from the Lifeboat back to my cozy island here in Dunwich.  And hopefully tomorrow I’ll have some subject more profound than this to expound upon.  Watch out for those U-boats.

16APR2023 – OCF Update – This’N’That

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So I enjoyed writing that review last night of the “groundbreaking” 1960s movie Blow-up.  Mocking something so utterly dumb was life-affirming.  It’s like watching that video of Musk brow-beating that dopey BBC reporter, just wonderfully satisfying.

Today we have a party to go to in the mid-afternoon so it’ll be a limited writing day because I also was handed a honey-do list by Camera Girl and there was a seriousness in her demeanor that leads me to believe that stalling will be seriously frowned upon.  Well, uninstalled new windshield wiper blades and blocked driveway drains are the stuff of wifely discontent so I guess I best bestir myself.

On the plus side I knocked off another 2,000 words on the story.  That’s another 2%.  Pretty good, pretty good.  And on the topicality front I did add an AI character to the story.  And that was before the current mania.  It was probably more an homage to “The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.”  Interestingly I’ve made mine a girl and she’s possibly the most enjoyable character in the book.  I’m trying to decide whether to kill her off or her creator.  One of them will have to go.

We had a ninety degree day on Friday.  That’s pretty damn hot for mid-April.  But we’re back in the fifties today.  But the heat really activated the dreaded mayflies.  Yesterday a cloud of them enveloped me while I was pumping gas.  Four of them followed me into the car and I was swatting at them like a lunatic while trying to drive on a busy road.  And the pollen is so thick you can taste it on your tongue.  People are walking around coughing up a lung.  Ah the joys of spring.

But life is good.  We turned the heat off a few days ago and there was still a balance in the heating oil account.  So Dementia Joe hasn’t quite bankrupted me yet.  Camera Girl will put aside her soup recipes and all sorts of warm weather provender will appear on the menu.

I was reading through the daily news and opinion rags with distaste.  The left is made up of dishonest people and idiots.  But the Right is hardly a paragon of virtue and intelligence.  Even when they get something right often it’s like the whining of the village idiot.  It’s just too painful to listen to.

I was watching a vlogger post about how camera photography was dying and how phone photography would kill it off any day now.  Maybe he’s right but that just tells me people are just too lazy to use the best tool for the job.  But he has a certain point.  The convenience of the smart phone has taken a heavy toll on the use of conventional cameras.  But despair seems a little melodramatic.

Well I better get on with my chores or I won’t get fed today.  Camera Girl is a Harsh Mistress. So enjoy the day and I’ll see what I can think of to comment on later.

13APR2023 – OCF Update – Out and About

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I had to leave the outskirts of Dunwich today early and only got back in the early afternoon.  Things were going well when I got a call from Camera Girl stating that her old Toyota Corolla refused to bring her home and she needed a lift home and AAA to send a tow truck (or as the locals call it a “wrecker”).

Well, what can you do?  When it rains it pours and so instead of getting down to writing I had to get Camera Girl home and supervise the overhauling of her stalled chariot.  So here it is after 4pm and I haven’t got a sentence of creative writing to call my own.  Just this sad story about a sad story.

But there was a bit of human interest even in this prosaic event.  When the tow truck showed up the driver was a little laconic for Camera Girl’s liking.  Apparently, she belongs to the “customer’s always right” school of automotive services.  And during our ride home she railed against the young fellow and demanded that he shouldn’t get a tip.

I reminded her that today it was 83 degrees out there and a tow truck guy by the end of the day is pretty tired and on a hot day probably a little irritable.  And not everyone is super chatty and chirpy at their work.  And sure enough, after the fellow performed all his work and delivered the car expertly and without incident, I handed him the tip and he thanked me profusely and shook my hand vigorously.  And he said getting a tip was a big deal for him.  What do these women know of the real world that men live in?  Nothing!

So even though the day is consumed and I have no output of any kind, save for this slender reed of a story.  I am unperturbed.  My morning’s expedition was a rousing success.  The outcome of this mission was the best possible one and now Camera Girl and I will celebrate with forbidden foods.  Pasta and sausage and meatballs and garlic bread will be consumed and afterward there will be Italian cheesecake and ice cream.  So, there will be great rejoicing at the Compound and the peasants will rejoice.  Huzzah!

Later on, I will catch up on my photos and quotes and songs for the day and read some of the news of the day.  Apparently artificial intelligence is on everybody’s mind right now.  Honestly, I’m hoping that at some point natural intelligence will resurface on this planet.  We’re being led to Armageddon by morons.  It’s morons leading morons as far as the eye can see.  Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Nancy Pelosi, Gavin Newsome and on and on and on.

At what point will any of these people be held accountable for the horrendous train wreck they’ve made of this country?  Does this go on until we’re starving and freezing in the streets?

The only solace I can take is that for a huge number of people all of this is common knowledge.  None of them hold Joe Biden in high esteem.  If the next time he falls down the steps of Air Force One he manages to kill himself no one will shed a single tear.  In fact, there will be hilarity and mockery for months.  Of course, the joke will be on us because then Cackling Harris would be the Commander in Chief and that would definitely end in a nuclear holocaust.

Well, I’m digressing away from the point.  Tonight, is a night of celebration.  No more talk of Biden or auto repair bills or anything depressing.  So, I’ll try to catch up on things tonight and tomorrow but this is just how things sometimes go.

11APR2023 – OCF Update – This’N’That

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Sunday was a great Easter family get together so this week is about catching up on stuff I neglected.

Today is going to be a mixed bag.  I have some photos and quotes to do and I am behind on everything; writing, chores, you name it.  But I want to have some fun too.

I grabbed this old Minolta zoom lens (35-105, f\3.5-4.5, macro) that has been hiding on a shelf in a closet for years and I want to play around with it as a walk-around lens for a while.  It’s a goofy lens and of course it’s on the LA-EA5 adapter so most of the autofocus stuff doesn’t work with it.  And the “macro” capability is this ridiculous switch that only allows for manual focus.  And the lens is very old so the coatings are very old technology so there’s all kinds of chromatic aberration.  But it has already been fun to walk around and use the  zoom to frame shots and to have wide angle and telephoto perspectives available.

Who knows whether the results will be terrible or even just meh but I’m having a little fun so far and maybe change is good for once.  I enjoyed my little foray into riffing on those Alice in Wonderland quotes.  It’s funny how closely the experience of finding oneself in a nightmare dreamscape resembles the actual world we find ourselves in.  Makes you wonder if the powers that be read the Wonderland books and liked what they saw.

 

Those damn bluebirds are back again and making believe they will take up residence in that same damn bluebird house.  I don’t believe it for a second but just as a diversion I’ve been taking some photos waiting for them to get kicked out by the swallows.  I daily harp on their shortcomings to Camera Girl.  I mock them constantly and call them pathetic losers and compare them to the various Republican losers that adorn our political make-believe world.  I think she’s getting tired of my obsession with them.

Cthulhu

Dunwich’s descent into political madness continues apace.  Confusion and anger are on full display and the path forward has been so muddied by the conflicting suggestions that the whole town government is paralyzed.  But we have to hope for the best.  I’m caught up in all this up to my chin so there’s nothing to do but move forward.  Onward and upward.  Or inward and downward.  Whichever works.

Well, it’s a warm, sunny day and we should all get some air today if we can.  But stay tuned and I’m sure to have something to say later.  I am an excitable kinda guy.