A Biden Carol (Part 3)

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Scene 1 – White House Residence / 2 a.m.

Biden – Holy Crap!  I think this thing is for real.  They know everything I’ve done and why I did it.  My only hope is to win the 2024 election and win over the American people.  I know.  I’ll say all that MAGA stuff.  The rubes eat that up.  All I’ve got to do is freshen up my “Scranton Joe” act and I’ll be back on easy street.

Ghost of Biden Present – That’s what you think.

Biden – Donald Trump?  What are you doing here?  I thought I was going to meet the Ghost of Biden Present.

Ghost of Biden Present – I’m here because I’m going to be the Ghost of Biden Present.

Biden – Oh come on man!  That’s not fair!

Ghost of Biden Present – Why would a crooked rat like you get treated fair?  I got the job because I told them I’d twist the knife every chance I got.  Believe me when I say no one is looking to help you, Joe.  The only friends you’ve got are paid and that doesn’t exactly guarantee loyalty.

Biden – Look Donald.  None of that stuff we’ve been doing to you is personal.  Garland is just following the law.  It’s completely by the books.

Ghost of Biden Present – Don’t waste your time.  I’m here to show you what people really think of you.

Biden – Well, that’s all just a partisan exercise.  Your voters are against me and mine are for me.

Ghost of Biden Present – You haven’t been paying attention to the polls or the social media sites.  You’re about as popular a herpes.

Biden – Which kind?

Ghost of Biden Present – Both.  Even the 25% of people who say they’ll vote for you are holding their noses to do it.

Biden – I don’t believe you.  There are millions of Americans who love and trust “good old uncle Joe.”

Ghost of Biden Present – Well, we’re going to go out tonight and let you talk to the people.

Biden – Should I hold onto your sleeve and we’ll be whisked along through the air?

Ghost of Biden Present – No we’re taking the front door and walking down Pennsylvania Avenue.

(Exit)

 

Scene 2 – Washington D.C.

 

Biden – What are all these homeless encampments doing in the capitol of the greatest country on Earth?

Ghost of Biden Present – You put them there, numb nuts.  These are all the people who’ve been displaced since you opened up the border and let illegal immigrants and fentanyl flood the country.

Biden – My border policy is smart, humane and very popular with the American people.

Ghost of Biden Present – Really?  Let’s test out your theory.

(Trump whistles loudly on his fingers and addresses the crowd.)

Hey folks, here’s “President” Biden.  He wants to get your opinions on his border policy.

Random Homeless Man – It’s really him.  Let’s get him!

Biden – (As he’s being dragged away by his heels  and kicked in the head and ribs by the murderous crowd)

Donald, Donald don’t leave me here.  Get me out of here before they murder me.  How can I learn my lesson if I’m dead.

Ghost of Biden Present – Don’t worry Joe.  You can’t be killed in this little demonstration.

Biden – What do you mean?  Those kicks hurt!

Ghost of Biden Present – No the beating will hurt like a bastard for sure.  But you won’t die.  That way it can go on for a very long time.  I’ll see you later Joey, much later.

Biden – Help Trump, help!  Don’t leave me here!

Folks, ouch, we’ll build back better together, ow, Bidenomics is making this the most robust economy in the world, ah, the green economy is lifting all boats, Ahhhhhhhhhh!

(Exit)

Colorado Wake Up Call

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If anyone, not on the Left, needed any further proof of the lack of political freedom in this country, the decision of the Colorado Supreme Court has hopefully provided it.  Bottom line; the powers that be will decide which candidates you are allowed to choose between.  Maybe it would be more efficient if on January 1st the Department of Truth just tells us in advance who will win the November election and saved us all that time and expense.  Maybe it’s Nikki Haley’s turn.  After all she’s slightly smarter than Kamala Harris, better looking and she will have the same policies as Joe and Kamala.  And she has the added bonus that she can drag along another ten percent of the electorate who call themselves compassionate conservatives, whatever that means.

I’m reconciled with the Left keeping Donald Trump off the ballot.  People should know what’s what.  Enough making believe.  Look around you and understand how things get done.  If Trump wouldn’t play ball with the State Department and CIA over Ukraine then they stage a race war and then a pandemic.  And if he’s still too popular to beat in an election then just bring out the “vote harvesting” and manufacture a presidency.  If the Biden agenda bankrupts the nation and alienates 70% of the electorate, why simply manufacture an insurrection charge against Trump and presto-change-o, we get candidate Nikki Haley.

In effect that is what they mean by “our democracy.”  What they really mean is “their oligarchy.”

Well, there you go.  That’s what it is.  And unless someone really wants to go toe to toe with their mafia gang you live under that oligarchy.  What you don’t have to do is pretend it’s some sacred arrangement.  You have to pay the mafia shakedown guy.  You don’t have to pretend you like it.  And when the day comes that some other mafia gang comes along and tries to knock them off their pedestal it’s definitely not your job to take up arms for them.  Let them send their own sons off to die.  That’s the nature of a mob.  They’re killers and they better be the best at it or someone stronger or nastier will knock them over.

For us it’s a matter of surviving in an oligarchic tyranny.  There are all kinds of strategies and tactics.  Mostly find a spot outside of the epicenters of the regime and try to hold onto whatever prosperity they haven’t managed to extract from their slaves.  Find a spot where they haven’t managed to hem in their cattle in the tightest pen.

And maybe someday when the disastrous global policies of this regime lead to catastrophe, which becomes more likely every day, then there will be a strong enough reaction to pull down this regime and install more moderate maniacs who will confine themselves to simply stealing money and not killing off the majority of their citizens through nonsensical policies like green energy and de-industrialization.

But until then watch what happens.  If Trump stays on the ballots and wins the election then I have wildly overestimated the strength and arrogance of the regime.  If he ends up in jail then I’ve got it about right.

A Biden Carol (Part 2)

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Scene 1 – White House Residence / 1 a.m.

Biden – I really must be cracking up.  What a horrible nightmare that was.  And I’m not even in bed.  C’mon Joe.  Snap out of it.  It must have been the Adderall wearing off.  Get a grip.  What’s that light I see glowing before my eyes?

Ghost of Biden Past – I am the Ghost of Biden Past.

Biden – Is that really a thing?

Ghost of Biden Past – No, I’m just the guy who got stuck with this gig.  But work with me here.  We’re trying to line this thing up with Dickens.

Biden – Sure, sure.  Are you going to show me all the things in my past that I should feel gratitude about and help me to be a better man?

Ghost of Biden Past – No, that ship has sailed, hit an iceberg and sunk to the bottom of the ocean.  I’m here to remind you of all the horrible stuff you’ve done so that it’s crystal clear why the perpetual gruesome agony you are slated for will be completely justified.

Biden – Wow!  No partial credit for that time I saved that amphibious lander when I shot down the Japanese Zero back in dubya, dubya two?

Ghost of Biden Past – Joe, you were born in 1942.

Biden – Oh, right.  I must be thinking of my service in Viet Nam.

Ghost of Biden Past – No you dodged the draft for Viet Nam.

Biden – So you’re not gonna work with me here.

Ghost of Biden Past – Work with you?  I’m rooting for you to get the perpetual wood chipper option.  In fact, I’ve got fifty bucks on it in the office pool.

Biden – Surely all that good work I did while in the Senate must buy me some good will up there.

Ghost of Biden Past – Up there?  Even Lucifer doesn’t want to work on your case.  He was thinking of farming you out to the Great Old Ones.  But Cthulhu said, nothing doing.  So, we’re stuck with you.

Biden – Surely someone from my past will speak in my defense.

Ghost of Biden Past – Yes, there was one character witness who was able to remove a very small charge from your list of sins.  We found Corn Pop and he said you never threatened him with a chain.  Apparently, you just ran off and never came back to the lifeguard gig you had.

Biden – That’s a lie.  He was a very bad dude and I stood up to him.

Ghost of Biden Past – Well, we checked out that story.  Corn Pop back then was an asthmatic camp counselor at the local YMCA with coke bottle glasses and a limp.  Now he’s a retired postal worker.

Biden – Yeah well, that’s not how I remember it.  So, what’s next?

Ghost of Biden Past – We’re going to walk you through the highlights of your various activities.  We’ve got Juanita Broaddrick and that summer with you “showering” with your underaged daughter.  We’ll go through the work you did getting Hunter to where he is now.  Then we’ll go over your work as the “Big Guy” and all of the stuff you did “for the country” while working for Obama.  For fun we’ll go over the blooper reel with your hair plugs and aviator shades.  It’ll be a busy time.

Biden – So this doesn’t look so good.  Should I get a lawyer or a character witness?  How about my old friend Barack.  Everybody loves him.

Ghost of Biden Past – Yeahhhh, about that.  Old Bathhouse Barry has his own ‘splainin’ to do.  I don’t think that would be wise.

Biden – Alright let’s start the tour.  Will there be lunch?

Ghost of Biden Past – Don’t worry there will be some roasted meat sooner than you think.

(Exit)

OCF Update – 19DEC2023 – Where the Hell is photog!

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Apologies to all my readers.  The power, phones, internet and magic have been out in Dunwich for the last day and a half.  I’m just using an off-site computer to send this message.  I’ve angered Cthulhu with all my mockery and he has summoned the winds and boy oh boy did they clobber me.  A hundred and fifty foot White Pine landed across the upper driveway and took out part of the fence.  Try cutting through that with an 18″ triangle hand saw.   Well, I have some stuff to post (A Biden Carol – Part 2) but I hope the power and internet are back on soon at home so I can post it.

My apologies for the site lull.  I’ll have to join Elon Musk’s Starlink or something.

Cthulhu

Damn you Cthulhu!!!