Category: TV Reviews

This episode is basically a comedy of errors.  The same week that Ralph goes for a physical examination at his doctor, Alice’s mother’s dog Ginger is brought to the vet by Alice.  Alice hides the vet visit from Ralph because it cost ten dollars and she knows Ralph will resent the expense.  When the vet’s report is delivered to the house Ralph assumes it’s his diagnosis.  The report says the patient has only six months to live due to a condition called arterial monochromia.  His symptoms will be loss of hair and blue tongue.  It is recommended that he be kept comfortable on the floor near the stove for warmth and given a daily pill with a saucer of milk.

After lamenting his fate he decides that he must provide for Alice by selling his sad story to the newspapers, thus providing her with $5,000 in her bereavement.

And unbelievably he is successful in his plan although the newspaper warns him that if he doesn’t die in six months they will prosecute him for fraud.  Eventually Alice gets wind of the plan and when she reads the vet’s report she starts laughing hysterically and tells him it’s the dog’s diagnosis and that arterial monochromia is called by excessive scratching at fleas..

Ralph is at first ebullient when he finds he’s not dying but immediately panics when he realizes he may be sent to prison for fraud.  Of course he immediately comes up with another scheme.  With Norton dressed in a checked jacket, wearing glasses and carrying a doctor’s bag the boys head for the newspaper office where they inform them that a miraculous therapy will cure Ralph.  He returns the check and heads for the door.  But the editor raves that this story is even better than the old one and begins pumping “Dr. Norton” for details of his medical history.  Of course disaster ensues and finally Ralph has to admit that he mistook the report from a veterinarian for his own diagnosis.

All turns out well when the paper realizes that a story making fun of Ralph’s stupidity will be more entertaining than the original story.

I believe the highlight of the episode is Norton finding Ralph fainted upon the floor and believing him to have died suddenly.  He starts mourning for the poor little fat kid who’ll never wear his little hat or his little socks and finally he picks up a pair of Ralph’s pants and says. “He’ll never wear these little pants again” as he spreads out the huge pants across the screen.

Definitely a good episode all around.  And I believe Doctor Norton may have been the inspiration for Cosmo Kramer’s Dr Van Nostrand.

In this episode Ralph berates Alice for some small housework chores that she neglected to do.  She explains how busy she was but he won’t hear what she’s saying.  He threatens to introduce a demerit system to highlight her deficiencies.  Alice tells Ralph she’s fed up with his ingratitude and declares that she is going to get a job and with her salary hire a maid to do the housework.

When they go to the employment agency the manager explains that due to the shortage of domestic help the maids have become very independent and unless their employers accede to all their requirements and exceptions, they refuse to accept assignments.  Then we meet the available maid, Thelma.  She’s taller than Ralph and looks extremely strong.  She tells the Kramdens that she doesn’t do heavy jobs like windows and floors because she’s “sickly.”  But when she hands Ralph her suitcase to carry for her, its unexpectedly extreme weight drags him down to the ground and he exclaims sarcastically, “Sickly!”

Thelma resists most of Ralph’s demands for her to assume a genteel and respectful manner of addressing him.  When Ralph attempts to get her to address Norton and himself politely she mockingly refers to them as, “the simp and the blimp.”  When this causes Ralph to explode in anger she quits and leaves.

Now Ralph is forced to do the housework himself since Alice has found a job at the local bakery as the jelly donut stuffer.  He tries to recruit Norton to help him with the backlog of chores but they both prove hopelessly inept.  Finally, he decides to try and flatter Alice about her appearance in the hope that she will agree to quit her job and resume her wifely duties.  After being rebuffed for his obvious flattery Ralph is forced to admit that housework is harder than his job and begs Alice to come back.

This is one of my favorite episodes.  Alice has one of the best lines in the series.  While sarcastically pretending how much she enjoys mopping the floors and washing the windows she mocks the outdated appliances in the apartment.  She says she is so thrilled with having an atomic kitchen.  She explains that she calls it that because, “It looks like Yucca Flats after the blast.”  Which is referencing the American nuclear testing in the desert southwest in the 1950’s.

In general Ralph’s imperious behavior toward Alice sets the pattern for their relationship.  Alice comes off as the reasonable wife but Ralph is demanding and unreasonable.  Invariably he gets knocked down a couple of pegs and has to swallow his pride and apologize to Alice.  And although this does make him a sort of straw man for Alice to pummel, Ralph manages to make the whole spectacle hilarious and entertaining.  And between the physical comedy, the battle of the sexes and the machinations that Ralph and Norton always resort to, the half hour almost always entertains.  Highly recommended.