Tag: Creepy Uncle Joe

Friday Always Seems a Little More Optimistic

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Yesterday I commented on William Barr’s lack of concrete progress in prosecuting the cabal of Deep State actors in the intelligence agencies that had tried to pull off a coup in 2017.  I was feeling pretty depressed about the whole thing.  Maybe it was a combination of being part of the ridiculous blue state cower-in-place strategy over the Wuhan flu and knowing just how much damage that policy has caused to millions of people across the country.  But today in the light of day and with a weekend coming up to enjoy I feel a little less gloomy.

After all I think about the things, I can be grateful for.  One of those things is Joe Biden.  If you could choose anyone to be the Democrat contender in a presidential race could you find anyone better than Creepy Uncle Joe?  If you go over his resume it’s simply breathtaking.  Here’s a man who comes ready made with quotes, video footage and democratic personnel who go on record disparaging his intelligence, his competence and most importantly his ethics.  Think of what can be done with hair sniffing, shoulder kneading, head nuzzling footage and a quote of what Tara Reade says Joe did to her back when she worked for him.  I can only imagine that will have a chilling effect on the suburban professional women’s vote in November.  I no longer think the Justice Department will do anything about Hunter Biden but what’s already out there should be enough to allow plenty of linkage to the whole China story.  Between the Wuhan flu and the past administration’s complicity in the off-shoring of American jobs to China it should be a very useful exercise to tie Sleepy Joe to China.  And finally, how easy will it be to take a few minutes of Joe’s verbal gaffes and nonsensical utterances to convince any but the most committed ideologues that Joe should be in an assisted living space and not the Oval Office.

And as the reports from various medical experts keep coming in it becomes easier to look beyond the confines of my blue state lockdown bubble and realize that for a large majority of the country, life will be returning to comparative normalcy very soon and with the help of the federal stimulus money economic recovery will be dramatic in many parts of the nation.  And that recovery will be exactly the right scenario to highlight the goals that the President stands, a strong American economy based on industrial capacity within the United States.  This can be contrasted to the Democrat strategies of elite prosperity coupled with universal unemployment underwritten by tech oligarchs who allow the poor to subsist on a UBI that robs their lives of dignity, purpose and hope.  And looking at the champions of this Orwellian future, at the Bernie Sanders’ and AOC’s of the democratic world, it looks easier and easier to provide the contrast needed to allow the voters the chance to choose.  Admittedly the American voting population is not uniformly rational and in fact there are whole swaths of people, especially in the blue states that will jump at the chance to institute the UBI and the Green New Deal.  But in the final analysis the Electoral College should still have sufficient actual Americans with enough intelligence to choose sanity instead of Democrats.

So, forgive my dark mood of yesterday and take heart.  President Trump is still in charge of the executive branch and William Barr isn’t the last word on justice and if he doesn’t get the job done he will be replaced by a less timid soul and I can still hope to see James Comey wearing the old timey striped pajamas working on that chain gang and using a sledge hammer to break the big ones into little ones.  O Brother, where art thou.

President Trump Says Obama Hasn’t Endorsed Biden Because He Knows Something We Don’t

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President Trump is hinting that Creepy Uncle Joe won’t be the Democrat Candidate.

https://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2020/04/09/trump_maybe_obama_hasnt_endorsed_sleepy_joe_because_he_knows_something_that_you_dont_know.html

He’s so much fun to listen to.  And I’m definitely not going to say he’s wrong.  I think the Democrats are panicked knowing that even though Biden prevented Bernie from being the candidate he himself is completely non-electable.  I mean, just think of it, he’s the closest thing since Bill Clinton to an unregistered sex offender as presidential candidate and he’s also suffering from late stage dementia.  The only way it could be worse is if his pants fall down during a debate.  So the only question is who do they unleash next?  Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbara Streisand, Oprah?  It most likely has to be an actor.  Empathy, at this stage, is all they can hope to use.

A Eulogy for the Losers

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And just like that, we’re down to two.  Oh sure, Granny Warren is still in the race but after losing her “home” state there’s not much left to do but shovel some dirt on her carcass and call it a campaign.  A newly reminted Biden is ready to spout inexplicable nonsense all the way up to the convention.  Bernie is in a panic and will have to yell even louder and wave his arms even more wildly.  It’s going to be amazing.

But what I want to talk about is what is to become of the losers.  Just look at them.  Sure, technically most of them still have high paying jobs and health insurance but how can they go forward with their lives when they’ve been forced to say ridiculous things now for half a year.  All of them have raised their hands and said they believe in the Green New Deal and that AOC isn’t certifiably insane.  Beto O’Rourke even claimed he was going to take our guns.  And most importantly, they all made fun of the old white guys in the race.

And yet here we are and as far as the eye can see all there are is old white guys!  So, it’s not like these folks are gonna get much love from Biden or Bernie.  So, they’ll have to go back to work and make believe they’re Senators or ex-mayors or skateboarding Kennedy clones or whatever the hell Tom Steyer does nowadays.  But one thing’s for sure.  I’m gonna miss these crazy bastards.

Just think of all the fun and laughs we’ve had as each one explained how his plan was better than her plan, all without recourse to facts or even the magic of mathematics.  Watching Kamala tell Creepy Uncle Joe that he had made her cry when he wouldn’t let her be bussed to a good school.  Or ButtPete berating Amy Klobuchar for not knowing the name of the Mexican President.  Or Fauxcahantas shaking with rage as she declared that Bernie had told her a woman couldn’t be elected President.  And what about Spartacus trying to say anything at all?  His pop-eyed expression and goofy voice always cheered me up.  He never was coherent in any of the debates but he always looked so excited and hopeful, the poor little guy.

But my overall favorite was Beto.  He postured and swore and skate-boarded his way into our hearts.  I’m old enough to guess that he was put forward based solely on his resemblance to one of the Kennedys.  Some child of the sixties in a newsroom must have made it his project to give the hapless Beto just enough publicity to force him on the public eye.  Too bad they couldn’t get him to read from a better script.  Every time he opened his mouth the stupid came pouring out and destroyed any doubts about how empty his big head was.  So Beto is the poster child for the group.  What does he do now?  He’s not qualified for any useful task and he’s too well known to attempt a normal life as, say, a lifeguard or a movie usher.  His choices are either to be locked away in a mad house or given a show on MSNBC.  Interestingly enough, Chris Matthews’ “retirement” provides a ready-made spot for Beto.  His audience would be almost as stupid as he is and therefore reasonably willing to listen to him jabber on in Spanglish about how, “el hombre naranja est muy malo.”  You know the more I think about it the better I like it.  In fact, I think all failed Democrat politicians should be warehoused on MSNBC or CNN.  Eventually that much stupidity concentrated in one place should tear a hole in the fabric of space and suck the whole studio straight into another dimension, hopefully one inhabited by some Lovecraftian horror that can feast on their stupidity for millennia.

I know I’ve gone a little overboard but darn it I’m gonna miss those losers and I didn’t want to let them go without saying goodbye.

Creepy Uncle Joe – The Comeback … Kid?

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How could I have doubted Joe?  Look at him go.  He’s got the Joe-mentum.  Poor Bernie.  So sad.  Poor Mike.  Poor Fauxcahantas.  Well let’s hope they can keep him going until November.  He’s been sounding pretty raggedy recently.  I wonder which historical figure he’ll confuse President Trump with when he’s trying to put him down?  Ronald Reagan?  Teddy Roosevelt?

Corn Pop, Leg Hair, Ukraine Money, Shoulder Grabbing.  Bring it on!

The Alice in Wonderland Election

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Four years ago, Michael Anton named the 2016 presidential election the Flight 93 Election.  The analogy was that voting for Donald Trump was the equivalent of storming the cockpit to attempt to stop the Democrats (and Republicans) from hijacking and crashing the Unites States of America.

Unexpectedly it worked.  And over the last few years we have seen just how apt the Flight 93 metaphor was.  But we have moved well beyond the analogy because although we may have wrested the cockpit out of the hands of the terrorists, the plane is still taking anti-aircraft fire from enemy forces on the ground.

Well, enough of that metaphor.  Let’s try a new one.  A few days ago I reviewed the current state of the Democrat Presidential Primary and I declared that the only way they could get me to watch them was if I thought I’d get a laugh out of it.  Creepy Uncle Joe could get me to listen to his Tales of Corn Pop or watch him bite his wife’s hand but I wasn’t interested anymore in watching their boring debates or commercials.

But on closer inspection I think maybe boring is the wrong word.  I think the correct word is painful.

Let me elaborate.  When Liarwatha or Bernie starts yammering about the Green New Deal or Medicaid for All, the disconnection from reality is actually painful to listen to.  A sane listener experiences a jarring cognitive dissonance.  It’s like someone is scratching his fingernails across a chalkboard or when you bite down on a sore tooth.  So, it would take quite a bit to get me to listen to this stuff again.

And the same thing occurred when the Schiff gang began their little sitcom around impeachment.  Listening to Pelosi’s minions pretending to be Watergate investigators is just too tedious and nonsensical to follow for more than a minute or two at a time.  One of my friends sent me a link to the testimony Jonathan Turley gave at the hearings.  He is the one “expert” that wasn’t an obvious hack trying to legitimize the Schiff kangaroo court.  I listened to his measured and balanced discussion of what kind of presidential actions would and would not amount to an impeachable offense.  I found him credible.  But I also realized that he would not influence opinion one way or another.  Forty percent of the country would agree with him, another forty percent would call him a liar and the last Twenty Percent would be “unsure.”  The needle wouldn’t even twitch.  So why should I watch this stuff if it makes no difference at all?  I mean I think it’s good for our side to put their side of the story out there to make sure the Twenty Percent hears both sides of the story but for me and my readers there’s no new information provided.

Which brings me back to what I was saying the other day.  The only possible reason to watch the Democrats is for entertainment value.  Creepy Uncle Joe or foaming at the mouth commies will have to pull out all the stops if they want me to tune in.  The denizens of the Island of Broken Toys will have to really try to get me to watch.  Maybe a three stooges slap fight between Joe, Petey and Bernie or a hair pulling cat fight between Fauxcahantas and Hillary might get me to view but not much else.  I mean after the Swalwell fart it has all, more or less, been done.

So here we are with a United States Presidential Election going on, hundreds of millions of Americans making up their minds who will wield the most powerful office of the most powerful nation that has ever existed.  The occupant of this office, an office that has as one of its responsibilities deciding whether to launch a thermonuclear strike with the planetary extinction capability of the US nuclear arsenal, will be chosen by this process.  And as the leading opposition candidates for that job we have Creepy Uncle Joe, Liarwatha, Bernie the Stalinist and Butt Pete.  There is no other way to characterize the situation but as a bizarro world scenario.  The classical description is Alice in Wonderland.  We have a normal observer, Alice, confronted by a world where everything is inverted and the normal rules of nature are suspended.  She struggles to cope with the inconsistency and outright madness but finds herself unable to do more than move from one absurdity to the next.  In this analogy no one would try to make sense of the Mad Hatter or the Queen of Hearts.  It would be futile.  Admittedly some people find this amusing but a steady diet of this sort of thing results in the experience I noted at the beginning of this essay, jarring cognitive dissonance.

To my mind the sensible way to address this election is to try and sway the Twenty Percent by highlighting the positive results and agenda of President Trump and exposing the absurd and dangerous positions and bizarre behaviors of his opponents.  This is what the talking heads on the Right need to do.  They need to pound away at Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi and the Deep State that handed them this hot mess.  It’s up to Bill Barr and John Durham to connect the dots on what the Russia and Ukraine scandals are really about.  If it turns out that Hunter Biden was part of a bigger payday for the Obama administration then that will cook Joe Biden’s goose for sure.  But even without that I think we’ll see our side prevail in 2020.

For me this though this is not the mission.  I preach to the choir.  There’s no need to bang that drum.  You all know all this.  My job is to provide my opinions and hopefully amuse.  So, I don’t want to bore anyone with logical arguments as to why the Democrats are wrong about this or that policy position.  You all know they’re the enemy.  I don’t have to convince you.  What I need to do is find some interesting things to discuss about the world we live in and make fun of the evil cretins who want to make us Orwellian slaves.  And that’s what I’ll do, I will chronicle the evil, stupid, absurd and insane doings of the Progressives and their allies in the Media and the Deep State.  That is my mission in the Alice in Wonderland Election.  So down the rabbit hole we go.  Hopefully we’ll meet on the outside again after we wake from the nightmare.

 

Is This Really It?

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Don’t the Democrats have more than this for their Impeachment Circus?  Can they keep this going for more than a week?  If not, I think they’re going to be upstaged by whatever balloon mishaps occur during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  In the classic Seinfeld episode, I believe it was Woody the Woodpecker who suffered a puncture wound and deflated on top of Elaine’s boss Mr Pitt.  I’m sure at this point Woody has been retired in favor of some kind of trans-gender super hero but either way Pelosi et alia are going to have to come up with some kind of show stopper.  Perhaps they can perform a séance and have the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein accuse President Trump of strangling him in his New York jail cell.

Honestly, the only thing I can guess is that the DNC is so desperate for Creepy Uncle Joe to be the candidate that they had to do something crazy like this to stop the investigation into Hunter’s pathetic graft expedition in the Ukraine.  And I don’t see how this helps.  If there is anyone on the planet at this point unaware that Joe used his position to force a foreign government to cancel an investigation of his son’s shakedown activities it could only be among coma victims.

The good thing about this feckless farce is that it gives the Republicans the perfect center piece around which to campaign against them.  If they had any wit about them at all, they would seize on this as the embodiment of an infantile and malign force that possesses no positive qualities and is only meant to act as a brake (resistance) to an actual agenda.  Pushing for a border wall in light of the Cartels’ victory over the Mexican Army would be a winning strategy.

But I have little if any faith in the Republicans at this point.  They are only slightly less useless than Pelosi and her crew.  At the rate that the Republicans are retiring from the House it may soon be a strictly Democrat establishment.  It’s a pity.  It seems as if President Trump will be forced to do the whole thing by himself.

Well I’m actually very busy getting work done so that I can have some time off around Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I’m impatiently waiting on Horowitz’s report and the subsequent indictments by Barr’s staff but I haven’t the patience or interest in reading any of the half-witted descriptions by the desperate MSM propagandists of the side show that Schiff and Pelosi are attempting to sell.

So, unless Pelosi is going to do a geriatric strip tease or Schiff is prepared to perform an Aztec sacrificial slaughter on the steps of the Capitol, I’m going to have to decline paying any further notice to this sad non-spectacle.

But bring on the next crazy show by all means.  This one isn’t funny enough.  In fact, I think I’ll re-watch the Seinfeld episode.  Watching Mr. Pitt struggling with the deflating Woody the Woodpecker balloon was way funnier than this.  Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

 

 

The Liarwatha Strategy

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As much as it pains me, I think I’ll have to accept that we’re going to lose Creepy Uncle Joe.  As my regular readers are aware of, I opined that Biden would be the candidate.  And I waxed poetic on the glories of a Biden filled debate experience, the gaffes, the non-sequiturs, possibly even lewd hand gestures.  But it was not meant to be.

This isn’t easy for me to accept.  I was sure he’d have staying power and once he unleashed the “Corn Pop” narrative I thought the troops would rally around his standard.  But I fear it’s too late.  Knowledge of just how crooked Joe and Hunter Biden were has permeated the American consciousness.  I fear Uncle Joe is toast.  No more sidling up and shoulder clutching or hair sniffing.  I fear Joe has fondled his last ambassador’s wife.

Ahh, well.

So, who shall it be?  Well things have settled out and the outcome seems clear.  Fauxcahantas is neck and neck with Creepy Uncle Joe and his backers are pulling back.  Comrade Bernie had a heart attack and appears relatively low energy at this point.  His numbers are trailing off and I assume he’ll be out of the race after New Hampshire.  No one else besides these three has been able to break single digits since early August.  At this point Kamala, Mayor Butt, Spartacus and the rest of that pack of losers are running to see who will be the running mate.  Therefore, Granny Clampett will be the Dem nominee.

Now that I’ve reconciled with the loss of Uncle Joe, it’s time to analyze the correct strategy for defeating the Fake Indian.  And that is an important thing to do.  She will get the same royal treatment that Hillary got when she was running.  As soon as she is the presumptive nominee all polls from that point forward will permanently show her ahead of the President by between five and twenty percentage points.  Also, she will receive nothing but favorable press and every week will feature a puff piece explaining how a woman president is not only the natural result of evolution but also what is predicted, based on being on the right side of history.  And Bill Kristol will declare her the true conservative choice in the race.

I think the important thing to remember is that she will undoubtedly get 100% of the college educated, unmarried, white women’s vote (aka blue-haired cat ladies, present and future).  This is her natural constituency, what the Z-Man would call the vinegar drinking scolds.  She will also get a large chunk of soccer moms, maybe 45% – 55%.  She will get 0% of white working-class men and women.  She will get 30% of upper and middle-class white men.  She will get 95% of the black vote.  She will get 65% of the Hispanic vote.

But here’s the important point, black and Hispanic voters will only come out to vote for her if they are motivated to do so.  If their voters aren’t excited about her, they’ll stay home in droves.  And aside from her fifth-grade teacher’s-nails on the chalkboard-voice, what would turn off the minority voters?  Well how about a fluorescently white woman who used a fake story of minority ancestry to get her a spot on the Faculty of Harvard Law School?  Gee, that might raise a little resentment.  If you were Mexican or Guatemalan, would you want someone who benefitted obscenely from pretending to have Native American blood getting your vote?  I’m guessing not.  And even if she’s pushing slavery reparations and has Kamala Harris as her running mate, I’m not sure that the black voters are really going to embrace her.  Basically, she’s not exactly Barack Obama.

So how do you highlight her dishonesty?  One thing that would work would be to have a tv ad with a Native American spokesman condemning her for the dishonesty and injustice of stealing a spot reserved for someone who truly was a Native American.  This could be reinforced with the text released by the Cherokee nation condemning Warren for her dishonesty and for using her DNA test as some kind of feeble defense.

The timing of this campaign is probably best delayed until the run up to the actual election day.  The middle of October seems like the right time.  Coordinated with this strategy, it would make sense for the President to go after her during the debates on her dishonesty.  A sort of relentless drum beat of accusations on her dishonesty and unfairness to Native Americans sounds like a winning strategy to me.  And, of course it wouldn’t hurt to showcase some of her other weak points.  Her acceptance of the insanely stupid “Green New Deal” that Ocasio-Cortez dreamed up should be especially easy to attack.  With a price tag that probably far exceeds estimates of $94 trillion and an agenda that will crash our economy and deprive us of the energy sources that make modern life economically possible any rational voters will reject candidate who has bought into it.

But the most appealing strategy to apply against Liarwatha is to appeal to people’s innate fear of having to listen interminably to her annoying voice.  The prospect of being hectored for four years by a shrew like her would make any man and many women recoil in horror.  I envision a commercial with a cartoon version of Betty Warren shaking her finger at a crowd of Americans and lecturing them about their responsibilities to the future and reminding them that whatever individual accomplishments they may have achieved that, “you didn’t build that!”

Well, I guess if I have to give up Creepy Uncle Joe, Fauxcahantas won’t be so bad.  I estimate there’s at least a 30% chance she’ll stroke out during the debates.  And after defeating Hillary and Liarwatha the Dems may give the woman candidate thing a pass in 2024.  But then again who knows.  We can always hope that Joe comes back as an 82-year-old trans-gender Creepy Grandma Josephine for an even more exciting race in the future.  He did say there were at least three genders.

 

 

A Busy Week for Right Wing Political Observers

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Well, the week has been action packed.  The Climate Nuts are panicking the children and the feeble minded with their Children’s Crusade.  The President humorously mocked the sixteen-year-old climate activist who has been screeching at her supporters all week.  Very funny indeed.

Now Nancy Pelosi and President Trump are sparring over the Ukraine and its investigation of Biden and his son.  Pelosi has begun a formal Impeachment proceeding and all the usual suspects are screaming that treason has been committed and heads will roll.  Of course, the fact that it was Biden and his son that were shaking down the Ukrainians under Obama’s regime is ignored.

And just in case that isn’t enough the British Supreme Court has declared the Prime Minister’s suspension of Parliament illegal.

Interestingly enough Rasmussen shows the President’s approval rating at its highest point in two years (52%).

Well, what does all this mean?  Just that President Trump and his enemies are locked in the death struggle that they’ve had going on for the last four years.  But the difference is he’s eliminated some of the really weak links in his team.  If Jeff Sessions were still Attorney General by now, he would have recused himself in favor of Rod Rosenstein and a new special prosecutor would be drip-dripping stories to the New York Times and Rachel Maddow would be starting her death watch for the Trump Administration again.

But not this time.  Instead, the FBI is investigating the Biden Ukraine scandal and even I am starting to have doubts about Creepy Uncle Joe making it to the convention.  Lately Fauxcahantas has overtaken Bernie in the polls and has even passed Biden in the Iowa poll.  The youth contingent of the progressives is happy to see that an old white guy won’t be the candidate but the party leaders are worried that the Fake Indian won’t get the enthusiastic support of the black community.  In particular, black women haven’t really embraced Warren.  This kind of uncertainty is very good for our side.  It won’t give the Dems as much time to memory hole the dirt on whichever candidate gets through.  And it will make it harder to recruit the Veep for the ticket.  After all Creepy Joe is a strange weirdo but compared to the likes of Warren or Harris, he’s almost Santa Claus.

Many right wing pundits fear Fauxcahantas as the more formidable opponent in 2020.  I will admit that she hasn’t forgotten what state she’s in or mixed up which decade things happened like Plugs Biden has, but she’s a deeply unlikeable woman whose only natural constituency is middle aged professional white women.  Men find her voice comparable to fingernails screeching over a chalk board.  In other words, sort of like Hillary Clinton.

Also, she has publicly stated that she supports Medicaid for all, free healthcare for illegal aliens and the ludicrously expensive and hopelessly ineffective Green New Deal.  I think even Jeb Bush could manage to attack her over those awful policies.  But it won’t be Jeb at the debates it will be the Man Who Buried Hillary.  The only real question is whether he calls her Liarwatha during his opening statement or during the first round of questions.

So far this has been a very interesting week.  Many people feel that President Trump intentionally initiated this Ukraine dust-up to force Pelosi to begin impeachment.  At this point, that seems possible.  The consensus is that Pelosi wanted to save an impeachment drama for closer to the election to hurt the President’s election chances.  But letting the Ukraine investigate Biden’s son would throw a cloud over the current leading candidate’s campaign and breed fear, uncertainty and depression for the Dems.  It’s sort of a lose/lose situation for the Dems.  There is the chance that forcing the country to go through an impeachment process this close to the election and for no good reason could throw the House of Representatives to the Republicans next year and strengthen President Trump’s hand immeasurably.

And finally getting back to the Brexit situation it remains to be seen if Boris Johnson will be willing to allow a Hard Brexit to occur by refusing to request an extension from the EU.  If that occurs, he could possibly be charged with a crime.  This really is an amazing situation.  It will take guts to do it but if he does it might make him the most popular Prime Minister since Winston Churchill.

Stay tuned.  Things seem to be heating up.

 

22SEP2019 Update – The Dem Race Begins to Take Shape

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So, this week we’ve lost Bill DeBlasio.  As the President mentioned, New York City is in a panic because Bill’s returning there and sure to cause fresh havoc in Gotham City.

And word has come down from Spartacus that unless his backers send him $1.7 million before September 30th, he’s going to drop his shield and short sword and drop out of the race.  Kind of makes you wonder a little about why he’s in the race.  What I want to know is who will keep the white supremacists in check if Cory drops out of the race.  I mean sure, Creepy Uncle Joe and Kamala Harris are woke to the threat of rampaging gun-wielding white fascists but Spartacus was the one who made it his signature issue.  And without a doubt Beto has laid claim to the gun grabbing title with his hats, coffee mugs and other branded paraphernalia but Spartacus was so much more real.  Yes, Cory Booker will be missed by those supremacists.

Today I read that Fauxcahantas has taken a two-point lead over Creepy Joe in Iowa.  Losing Uncle Joe so early in the process would be a blow.  The whole problem of his son and the Ukraine could spell the end of my prediction for Joe to be the November victim for President Trump.  So sad, so sad.  Well if it’s to be Fauxcahantas (and I’m not admitting to it yet) then let it be Fauxcahantas and Kamala Harris.  That is a dream ticket for President Trump.  Between the shrieks of Fauxcahantas and the whining and crying of Harris there wouldn’t be a man in America with a testosterone level above zero who would vote for that nightmare.  Now the flip side of that is every cat lady and power skirt in the country will try to vote twice for them.  But somehow, I don’t see them getting much of the female black vote.

Bernie is now only ahead of Warren in New Hampshire where he is shown trailing Joe by about a point.  But nationally the Fake Indian is leading him by a couple of points.  Bernie won’t drop out soon.  He’s got a lot of money and a loyal core of Bernie Bros who won’t desert him.

Pete Butt also has a good pile of cash to keep him going and the desire to be Vice President and I see him hanging in there for a good long time.  But as to who would select him for Veep, maybe Harris?  I’m guessing nobody really wants him aboard.

So, of the candidates who still might be around in a few weeks, that leaves Beto.  I think Harris would like to have him for a Veep.  He’s so incredibly shallow and stupid that by comparison even she would look sort of intelligent.  And he’s got a skateboard you know.  He’ll definitely get the poser and hipster vote motivated.

All the rest of the losers hovering around at 3% or lower will be gone by Halloween.  It’s pretty clear that the Media wants Creepy Uncle Joe to drop out.  They’re afraid that he’s too senile and has too many skeletons in his closet to beat the President.  And they’re right but honestly, it’s not as if Bernie or Fake Indian aren’t just as looney.  It’s that old white guy just seems impossible for their narrative.

Emotionally I’m tied to the idea of Creepy Uncle Joe going into the debates.  The spastic hilarity just draws me in.  But Fake Indian is great too.  Fauxcahantas has more than one arrow in her quiver if I may be permitted to use the metaphor.  She shrieks and her eyes bulge behind her Granny Clampett glasses and she gestures and gesticulates like some demented third grade teacher.  There is greatness there.

But never let it be said that I’m a fair-weather friend.  I’m sticking with Crazy Uncle Joe to the bitter end.  The only condition I put on his candidacy is if he strokes out.  If he does, I’ll pull support.  I can’t be responsible for the death of anyone, even Creepy Uncle Joe.

So, let’s recap.  With the Media and nervous big money pushing to anoint Fauxcahantas, Creepy Uncle Joe is hoping to weather the Ukraine thing while Bernie plods along waving the Hammer and Sickle flag of Communism for the Bernie Bros to see.  The only losers who’ll hang in for the Veep sweepstakes look like Harris, Beto, Mayor Pete Butt and maybe Spartacus.  I’m holding out for Uncle Joe but the vultures are beginning to circle.  Stay tuned for more excitement in October.