Tag: Creepy Uncle Joe

Vox Populi, Vox Dei – 2020 Style

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Well the voting is done and the vote counting was performed using our brand new Dominion Voting System.

It’s a funny thing, last night at 2 am I took this screen shots.

Early Returns

 

 

But when I woke up this morning there had been a surprising amount of activity

Final Certified Results

 

I was a little skeptical at first because the analytics hadn’t registered all those new votes but then I saw that the caption said that the results were certified and final so I knew it was alright and I felt better then.  Camera Girl is raising a fuss because she is just a poor ignorant peasant girl who doesn’t understand “science.”  She said something about bringing in the military which I don’t claim to believe is an option.  Well, whatever.

But just to show that I’m a reasonable man who can reach across the aisle and all that I’ll sprinkle a few Dementia Joes and Creepy Uncle Joes and even an occasional Groper in Chief and Faux Joe from time to time just to show the lumpen proletariat that I am indeed a man of the people.  Well, I have to get back to my hummingbird tongue juice pool party with the Beijing Boys.  Man, they’re a nice bunch of guys.

Hey, Swalwell, get out of that pool, I saw those bubbles around you.

What Do We Call the Lying Sack of Crap?

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I have a favor to ask of the readership.  We may be forced to reference Joe Biden often over the next few years and I’d like to have a nice punchy name for him that will stand the test of time.  I’ve been test driving the lengthy but amusing “lying sack of crap” and confess I do find it fun.  But being a man of the people, I plan to have a vote.  And I intend to do it without fraud.  I will provide a list of names that are either already out there or I come up with and readers can vote for any of these choices or provide a write in vote in the comments section of that post.  The winner will be acclaimed as the official OCF derogatory title for Joe Biden.

I can’t make up my mind whether the most important aspect of Joe is his stupidity, his dishonesty or his offensive personal habits.  He is a triple threat.  If you have multiple favorites you can select more than one.

Let’s get to it.

What Should OCF's Official Derogatory Term for Joe Biden Be?

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photog’s Right-Wing Guide – Part 2 – Reviling Creepy Uncle Joe Effectively

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Briefly, to explain the title change, the first installment of this series was called “Right Wing Guide to Living in the Democratic People’s Republic of America – Part 1.”  As you can see that is pretty long.  And if I add a subheading for the individual essay it can get out of control.  Therefore, the shortening.  Well, you’ve got to admit it’s easier to remember.

Whatever Joe Biden’s place will be in America, whether as unsuccessful presidential candidate or as stinking, undead corpse littering up a back room at the White House, I think it is important that all good Americans heap as much scorn and derision on this lying, plagiarizing, bullying, woman-groping, hair sniffing, shoulder squeezing, influence peddling grafter as we possibly can without becoming truly offensive.

This policy has multiple advantages.  First and foremost, it is warranted.  There may be worse human beings in Washington.  After all it is a moral cesspool.  But at most they’re just barely nosing him out.  He truly is human garbage.  If an actual time machine existed it would be justified to go back and convince his parents to sell him at birth to a circus freak show as the dog-faced boy.  There he would have found his true calling.

Secondly, it feels right doing it.  There is a surge of joy when a truly fitting insult is found.  The “mot juste” as our snail, frog and cheese loving friends would say.  It is the joy in creating an apt word portrait.  Sure, the portrait resembles the evil, rotting, leprous portrait of Dorian Gray but that is still an accurate and useful work of art.  Mocking evil is fun.  I couldn’t stop laughing for several minutes when I reread this thing.

Thirdly and most importantly, his handlers hate it.  They’ve got to sell the image of Joe Biden as a wise elder statesman.  He must be painted as a saintly and totally legitimate leader of the United States.  Painting him as a doddering, crack-brained, idiot with the habits of a zoo chimp and the morals of a loan shark make that very difficult.  Joe is going to be asked by his employers to try to sell the American people on the idea of staying locked down basically forever.  If something that horrible is told to you by a demented circus monkey it’s going to seem less than compelling.

What I’d like people to summon up when they think of Joe is an image of his face on the body of a chimp inside of a cage with bars sitting in a truck tire suspended on a rope and flinging his own poop through the bars at the spectators.  I think this image will give Joe exactly the dignity, gravitas and credibility he deserves.  Keeping this image clearly in mind whenever he is speaking will remind the American people of exactly what he is doing.  He is throwing a bunch of crap in our direction and we should do whatever we can to avoid whatever he is pitching.

I’m sure over time other images of what Joe represents will come to me but for now Joe “zoo chimp” Biden is my current favorite.  If I can get this out there to the whole world it might have some interesting long-term effects.  Once the COVID thing is over Joe may want to shake hands with other world leaders.  If this meme gets out there some of those leaders may think twice before shaking Joe’s paw.  After all, where has it been?

What Do You Call a Country Like This?

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It is December 1st 2020 so I am fervently hoping that President Trump will be successful in forcing the courts and the legislatures to acknowledge the overwhelming evidence of wholesale fraud and assign him the election win.  But regardless of the outcome of that effort we have to come to grips with the fact that the country we thought we lived in does not exist.

Now that’s a bold statement but I think it’s undeniably true.  The last election was not a squeaker that could have turned on the margin of error.  Unlike 2016 President Trump had massive new support in the swing states that he needed to win.  And that was obviously apparent right up until the switch was pulled in Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan and Wisconsin.  In each state President Trump was decisively ahead when the counting was shut down and the observers were sent home and the fake ballots were trucked in by the hundreds of thousands and the fake count was performed without honest witnesses to confirm that the ballots were legitimate.  All the other jazz about the electronic systems in place may be as horrendous as they say.  That’s harder for me to know about.  But the obvious fraud is what we’re left with.

Now what kind of country do these sorts of things happen in?  Well, you can think of a whole bunch of names.  Oligarchy is the sophisticated name.  When I was growing up it would have been called a banana republic.  The term that I think is appropriate is gangster state.  Without a doubt we haven’t reached the level of brutality that Saddam Hussein was famous for but it’s really only a matter of degree or maybe a more sophisticated sense of taste.  After all, the FBI, the Justice Department and the judiciary tortured General Flynn and others of the Trump team psychologically for more than four years with no evidence of a crime having been committed and the media has used concerted propaganda campaigns, supported by the social media companies against half the country for almost a decade.  And now that the Left has made riot, looting and arson business as usual I can’t see how anyone can claim that there is a qualitative difference between what goes on in the United States and what goes on in Venezuela or Syria.  Say what you like, you can’t call that kind of regime democratic or even legitimate.  When the law is enforced selectively and based on partisan advantage then tyranny and dictatorship are perfectly accurate descriptions for that type of regime.

And that is my whole point for this post.  Things should be called by their right names.  Words shouldn’t hide reality.  Calling a place, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea is just making believe that the word democratic doesn’t mean rule by the people.  So, let’s call the place we live in by what it truly is.  Let’s call it the Democratic People’s Republic of America.  I wonder if Kim Jong-Un could send one of those stylish outfits he wears to Creepy Uncle Joe.  It would look just about right on the Dear Leader.

The Hunter Biden Debate

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On Thursday President Trump is scheduled to debate Creepy Uncle Joe Biden for the final time.  The Democrats, or more specifically, the part of their organization that runs the debates, has decided that during each candidate’s assigned speaking period they will mute the microphone of his opponent.  Now that’s interesting.  It’s got me thinking, when Toobin thought his microphone was on mute he exposed himself and performed unspeakable acts.  Might not Joe Biden do the same?  And if the moderator reacts to it will Joe just say, “Oh come on man I heard you liked me.”

Another thought I had was this.  If the moderator hears President Trump spilling the beans on Joe Biden’s various crimes might not she be tempted to mute him even though it’s his turn?  I think this might happen.  I’ve got to confess I’m really looking forward to this event.  I think it will be hilarious and possibly amazing.  The previous debate was wonderfully bizarre and based on the set up of the Hunter Biden expose earlier this week I expect the President to unload on this guy with both barrels.

But what everyone wants to know is what else is on the hard drive.  Up till now it’s been pretty straight forward.  But what if they’ve held back some really crazy stuff for the debate and it gets debuted there?  I don’t have any information to that effect but knowing what a showman Trump has always been I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he unleashes a bombshell.

So now you understand why, from my point of view, tomorrow night’s debate is so fascinating.  For all I know Trump has staged things so that Creepy Uncle Joe will be taken directly into custody as he exits the stage.  I mean between Joe and Hunter nothing like this has existed since Tiberius Caesar took Caligula under his wing and showed him how it was done.

But let’s assume instead that nothing like that is going to happen.  This will still be the first Presidential Election Debate within the modern era where one of the candidates and probably actually both candidates will accuse the other of being a criminal, a liar and a traitor right on the stage.  You can’t ask for more drama than that.

Now that our politics will never go back to the mealy-mouthed days of Mitt Romney we at least can look forward to candidates calling each other horrible things out loud and uncovering the dirt that’s always been there but has been hidden from sight by the mutual consent of both parties to shield them from the wrath of the voters should their countless acts of graft and corruption ever be uncovered.  But of course, I’m forgetting, that would require the Justice Department to investigate and prosecute these crimes.  Sort of like investigating the Hunter Biden hard drive that they’ve had in their possession for nine months and did nothing about.  Silly me.

Anyway, tomorrow’s event is must see tv.  Joe will be hopped up on Ritalin and I guess there is some risk that his eyes will start bleeding again and his head might explode.  But that is a risk I am willing to take.  It is my patriotic duty to sit there and laugh uproariously right through every historic moment and then later on play back the best parts for even more laughs.  I should dig out my old copy of I Claudius and re-watch the scenes with Caligula so I’ll have something to compare Hunter to when I do a separate post on him.  Stay tuned.

A Graph That Actually Means Something

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The polls will always show President Trump (or any Republican) losing in any election.  FUD is just part of their plan.  But apparently their FUD this year is weaker than their FUD in 2016.  Objectively that can’t be good for Joe Biden.  If President Trump is running a half a point ahead of what he did in 2016 he’s probably feeling pretty good about his chances.  Well, Biden needs a rest anyway.

 

 

 

 

What to Expect When President Trump Squares Off Against Chris Wallace at the First Presidential Debate

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Chris Wallace, the lefty shill from Fox News will moderate the first debate, which is scheduled for Tuesday, Sept. 29 in Cleveland.  Whether Joe Biden shows up either corporeally or even as a hologram, the real debate will take place between the President and Wallace, the lefty Media’s hatchet-man du jour.  I expect the first question he’ll address to Joe Biden will be a yes or no question, “Do you agree that President Trump is criminally responsible for all COVID deaths?”  Joe may flub this question by thinking it’s about him or by mistaking the term COVID for some kind of video-sharing service but either way it will be up to President Trump to slap Wallace around for most of the night in order to be declared the winner by the viewing public.

And I think he will.  President Trump is a savvy media personality and he knows that Wallace is there to try and swing the election for Biden.  And since Biden at this point is about as intellectually capable as a flat worm with its head cut off it’s up to Wallace to do the dirty work.  And he will.  He will go right to the COVID issue and try to portray every death as a crime that the President is responsible for.  But let’s face it, Wallace isn’t all that convincing a liar.  He always has that smug grin on his face and he always seems to be overreaching with his accusations and innuendoes.  I expect the President to drill down into Wallace’s accusations and push back very hard.  I hope the President calls him a liar and a lefty shill because that is exactly what Wallace is.  Chris Wallace is a poor man’s version of the commie that his father was.  Mike Wallace had gained credibility based on his long association with the news industry’s icons of yesteryear like Walter Cronkite and his work on the old television news series Biography and 60 Minutes.  But his son hasn’t got the gravitas that the elder Wallace had or his sonorous voice.  Chris’s voice is more of a nasal honk that annoys a lot of listeners.  I confess I will be disappointed if Wallace doesn’t get knocked around in these exchanges.  He really needs a good smackdown performed on him.

Now looking at the Biden component of the event, I am curious to see if his handlers try to use an ear piece to feed answer to Slow Joe.  That would be fun to watch.  Maybe we can pick up the signs that he is listening to an audio message.  I wonder if the Secret Service has the capability to jam radio transmissions around the people they are protecting.  And I wonder if the White House will have any kind of surveillance that picks up that kind of thing going on.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if after the debate an audio recording of someone prompting Joe were uncovered?  Well, I shouldn’t be too greedy.  I’ll settle to just watch and listen as Joe does his Biden act and eventually starts umming and uhhing at the end of every sentence he attempts to make.

And who knows, maybe they’ve loaded Joe up with pep pills to cut through the fog and he won’t embarrass himself.  But as long as the President goes on the attack about the substance of Biden’s long and undistinguished record in government it will be enough to carry the night.

So, sure I’ll be watching.  It could turn out to be a lot of fun.  I just hope Joe doesn’t get flustered and wanders off into the crowd.  He’d be bound to start sniffing hair and rubbing shoulders and even I have limits on what I’ll watch on tv.

update:

The comments section on Chris Muir’s Day by Day cartoon today (9/24/2020) has a lively discussion on the ins and outs of the debate.

Easy Company.

 

The Glorious Paradox That is Biden

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In 1 Corinthians 9:22 St. Paul says “To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.”  To some extent, a presidential candidate must do that.  He must be all things so that all the various special interest groups can buy into his story.  And for a Democrat candidate that’s a very diverse group of special interests.  He’s got the black vote and the feminist vote and the Latino vote, the gay vote and the lesbian vote and now he even has the trans vote.  Well, that’s their shtick after all.  But this year threading that needle is going to be extra tricky for Creepy Uncle Joe.  Take for instance the feminist vote.  Tara Reade has made that sale interesting.  Although several feminists have openly said that even if they believe Joe Biden sexually assaulted Reade back in 1993, they would still vote for him in November.  Columnist Katha Pollitt puts aside all doubts about whether morality is involved in her election calculus.  She stated, “I would vote for Joe Biden if he boiled babies and ate them.”  Well that’s refreshingly honest.  Another woman, Lisa Bloom, flatly states that she does believe Reade’s claim but she’s endorsing Biden anyway.  And she’s a women’s rights attorney!  Ain’t that a kick in the head!

What all this tells me is that Joe is not going to energize the feminist vote.  And if the feminists aren’t feeling it, they’re not going to be very effective proselytizing their less strident sister in the next cubicle over.  I mean how persuasive is an argument that ends with, “So you see Joe Biden has many fewer rape allegations against him than his opponent.”  I think a lot of women will feel that argument leaves them a little underwhelmed.

Now let’s look at the black vote.  A few days ago, Biden had a video interview with a black social media personality who calls himself, and I kid you not, Charlamagne tha God (CTG).  On his radio show called the Breakfast Club he tried to pin down Biden on what gimmees he would promise to the black community.  But Biden resisted saying “You got more questions, but I tell ya, if you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, then you ain’t black.”

Now this comment raised howls of anger from the African Americans on both the Left and Right.  But Biden’s supporters aren’t actually offended by the patronizing remark.  But they want him to know they haven’t signed on the dotted line.  They want a black woman as his running mate and they want money.

CTG stated, “If you created legislation that hurt [the black community], then you have to create legislation that helps. It’s just that simple. Like, the whole system needs to be dismantled and rebuilt,” McKelvey said in a Friday interview with CNN’s Erin Burnett. “He’s been a very intricate part of that system, whether you’re talking about in ’84 with mandatory minimum sentences for drug dealers, or you’re talking about ’86 with crack laws that gave you more time for crack cocaine than powder cocaine, or you’re talking about the ’94 crime bill, like he really was one of those people on the front line when it came to the war on drugs and mass incarceration.”  “If he wants to be president, he needs to fix that. He needs to really, really help the people that have helped Democrats all of these years,” he added.  And on another interview, he added he wants details on Biden’s “slavery reparations” stance.

To me it’s pretty clear that Biden’s support in the black community is extremely conditional.  To tie it up he will have to promise some extremely expensive programs.  And chances are he really can’t deliver on those.  And even more problematic, if he makes those promises it is going to jeopardize his support from other parts of his fractious coalition.

Now the final piece of the puzzle has less to do with the special interest groups and more to do with self-preservation.  Over the course of the last six months Joe Biden has made so many verbal gaffes that everyone including the republicans has stopped paying attention to them.  He not only commits factual errors like forgetting what state he’s in or what office he’s running for but he has on occasion lapsed into spouting gibberish in an attempt to finish off some thought that he’s lost the thread of.  It’s gotten to the point that even his own constituency has stopped denying that he’s becoming senile.  So, if you’re an independent and even if you’re not a Trump fan you’d have to hesitate before voting to put a man as intellectually compromised as Biden in charge of the largest thermonuclear stockpile on the face of the Earth.

So, there we have it.  The Democrats had to anoint Biden because otherwise Bernie Sanders would have been the candidate and he’s a Communist Loon.  But Joe is essentially a lying, plagiarizing, sex predator suffering from advanced senile dementia.  Oh, and he allowed his son to cash in on his political connections to the tune of about a billion dollars from China and the Ukraine.  It seems to me even taking into account the equivalent of the Great Depression descending on us after the COVID-19 debacle it’s going to be mighty hard to lift Joe Biden into the White House.  Even in these benighted times that may be too much to expect from the American people.  We’re nuts but we’re not Biden nuts.

Could Ukraine Be Allowed to Give Creepy Uncle Joe the Perp Walk?

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A Ukrainian judge ordered that Joe Biden’s name be explicitly listed as the perpetrator  of a crime against the fired former Prosecutor General of Ukraine Victor Shokin.  I guess Biden bragging that he coerced President Petro Poroshenko to fire Shokin to avoid losing loan guarantees from Washington was too much for the current government to stomach.  Biden got Shokin fired because he was looking into kickbacks that Hunter Biden was getting from the energy company Burisma.

Ukraine judge orders Joe Biden be listed as alleged perpetrator of crime in prosecutor’s firing

Do you think the Ukraine could print out a wanted poster with Joe’s skeletal mug grinning from behind bars?  Maybe they could have him dressed in one of those old timey striped prison suits.  Could the Justice Department expedite the extradition to allow the Democrats time to select a different candidate for November?  Curious Americans would like to know.

 

Mika Brzezinski Versus Joe Biden, Clash of the Mindless

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I was watching a video clip of Joe Biden being “grilled” by Mika Brzezinski over why he would not allow a search through his document archive of sealed Senate records at the University of Delaware.  I suppose in some sense there is some importance in the outcome of the “investigation” of Tara Reade’s assault charges against Biden.  Biden was categorical during the Kavanaugh investigation that a woman must be believed when she makes a charge of sexual harassment.  And he made it perfectly clear that in his mind Title IX demanded that any man in a college that was accused of sexual “crimes” should have all his rights to due process stripped away by the college administration and be subjected to summary expulsion at the whim of any woman who chooses to make an accusation.

For those reasons I guess I should enjoy watching Brzezinski ask Biden over and over and over why he won’t allow his archive to be searched for evidence on Tara Reade.  But it’s just so painful to have to listen to the two of them monotonously make the same points endlessly.  It’s like one of those Three Stooges routines where two hoodlums have overpowered Moe and Larry and are preparing to beat Curley to a pulp but somehow he and one of the gangsters get tangled up and are both wearing one half of a coat, each one of them has an arm in one sleeve and so Curley will swing and punch the other assailant and as the force of the blow pivots him around the guy he punched swings and hits the guy in the coat with him.  And the force of that blow pivots Curley back around again and he punches the same guy again.  This goes on ad infinitum until both gangsters are beaten to a pulp.  As humorous as this might be the first couple of times, after that it starts to get annoying.

I’ll give Biden credit.  In his present state of demented senility, I wouldn’t have thought it possible for him to keep track of the argument.  Granted they were the exact same words repeated over and over but based on what I’ve seen of Joe lately I assumed he would have been worn down and just started going into details of his assault on Reade and tried to justify it based on his importance as a Senator and her job description.  But somehow, he managed to repeat his talking points with only short lapses into incoherence.  Not once did he drool or stick his finger in his ear.  It was a virtuoso performance.

As for Brzezinski, I can’t stand looking or listening to her.  Everything she says and does is painful to sit through.  I consider her to be one of the stupidest or the most dishonest individuals in media.  It’s got to be one or the other and possibly it could be both.  But looking at her vapid face while she parrots whatever drivel she’s been handed is just too much for me.  When I started writing the Morning Shmoe parodies of Scarborough and Brzezinski I tried to make Lycra Spandexy as over the top as I possibly could.  But I don’t think I ever made her more absurd than the almost-real-world model she was based on.

And so, it was astonishing to me to note that I was rooting for Creepy Uncle Joe to somehow manage to escape from the mindless hectoring of Mika/Lycra.  I could hear myself thinking, “No Creepy  Joe, don’t get your arm tangled up in that coat with her.  Don’t slip on that banana peel.  Put your hand between your eyes before they get poked!”

It’s such a strange world.  In a sensible world I’d want Biden, Brzezinski and Jim Comey to be eaten by zombies searching for their non-existent brains.  Or at least I’d like to see them performing the work their talents qualified them for, namely picking up trash on the side of a highway with a pointed stick while wearing an orange jumpsuit.  But we live in a fallen world.  So, I guess it’s a good thing when MSNBC and Joe Biden are at an impasse as to which is stupider.