Category: OCF

The Silly Season

photog Book Reviews, Current Events, Humor, OCF, Reviews, Science Fiction / Fantasy, SF&F Book Reviews, Trump , ,

It’s officially the summer doldrums both on the web and in the real world.  I remember an old science fiction short story called the “Silly Season” that had as a premise that during the summer doldrums newspapers were so starved for real news that they would publish any kind of nonsense just to fill space.  Apparently the Martians knew about this too so they flooded the news with UFO sightings throughout the silly season for several years running.  This had the effect that the papers and their readers became so completely fed up with reading these accounts that when the real invasion began everyone ignored the initial news stories for so long that the humans were conquered before they could react.

That is how I’m beginning to feel about Flynn and Cohen and Manafort and Mueller and Hayden and  Brennan and Clapper and Rice and McCabe and Comey and Page and Stryzk and Rosenstein and, and, and!!!

I am completely and utterly fed up with hearing about these idiots.  I just can’t decide who is playing whom.  Is President Trump about to be dragged off in irons or is Comey and the whole lot of them headed for Guantanamo Bay?  Either way I just can’t care anymore about any of this stuff.  In fact, I can’t even care enough to make a Trump vs. —– parody about it.  The only thing I can think of is to have a parody where he is bored to tears about it.  That seems reasonable.

So anyway, sorry for the lack of output.  But let’s face it, the silly season is in full swing.  If only there were some way to get the Kanamits to load all of the Deep State swamp creatures into the saucer and send them off to that big smorgasbord in the sky.  That at least would be worthy of a parody.

Aesop’s Fable of the Fox, The 600 mm Lens and the Senile Photographer

photog OCF, Photography , , , , , , , ,

A fox den was established in the woods next to me in the spring.  Last time I had the 150 – 600 mm Sigma Sport lens I never got a good chance to shoot the male rooting around in our compost pile.  Two weeks ago the parents and now large kits stopped showing up around the area and I assumed I’d lost my chance.  I rented the 150 – 600 mm Sigma Contemporary for my vacation this week to compare it to the Sport.  Today the male fox was spotted a couple of times.  So I set up near the compost pile at 6:30 pm and sure enough he showed up.  The lens behaved well and I took a bunch of shots.  But stupidly I didn’t even notice I was shooting at 150 mm!  I was shooting macro all day with the Sony 90 mm macro and I was completely used to shooting everything in the magnified setting so doing it now felt natural.  Well, the crops are okay, but that’s got to be the most bone-headed and frustrating mistake I’ve made in at least an hour.  But I’m sure to do something stupider soon enough and then I’ll feel better about this one.

 

Southern New England Gray Fox w/ Sony A7 III w/ Sigma 150 – 600 mm Contemporary lens on Sigma MC-11 converter, at 150mm focal length
Southern New England Gray Fox w/ Sony A7 III w/ Sigma 150 – 600 mm Contemporary lens on Sigma MC-11 converter, at 150mm focal length
Southern New England Gray Fox w/ Sony A7 III w/ Sigma 150 – 600 mm Contemporary lens on Sigma MC-11 converter, at 150mm focal length
Southern New England Gray Fox w/ Sony A7 III w/ Sigma 150 – 600 mm Contemporary lens on Sigma MC-11 converter, at 150mm focal length
Southern New England Gray Fox w/ Sony A7 III w/ Sigma 150 – 600 mm Contemporary lens on Sigma MC-11 converter, at 150mm focal length

 

 

 

18JUL2018 – OCF Update

photog Book Reviews, Current Events, Movie Reviews, OCF, OCF Classic Movie Reviews, Photography, Reviews, Science Fiction / Fantasy, SF&F Book Reviews , , , , ,

Greetings readers old and new.  As is my want, or as less pretentious people would say, my habit, I like to let you know what is coming up on the site.  This week is my annual stay-cation.  For eight full days I make believe that my corporate masters have been swallowed up by some beneficent plague that only spared the good.  I revel in the joys of summer and put all cares aside.  After monsoon-like thunderstorms deluged us yesterday, the world has been swept clean and the air is hot and dry just the way I like it.  I’m hosting my annual family reunion on Saturday but with days off on both sides of the big event, I see plenty of time to produce excellent OCF posts all week.

  • I’m renting the “Contemporary Series” version of the Sigma 150-600 lens and the Sony 90mm Macro lens.  They should arrive today and allow me to post on how they perform for the things I would use them for.
  • I plan to yammer on about the joys of summer.
  • I have a photo post I’m going to write about moths and butterflies and maybe other insects in my area.
  • I have some things to say about several political topics.
  • I’ll start reading some more sci-fi which may provide a review this week.
  • I plan on doing some classic movie reviews.
  • I might have some country music reviews coming up too.
  • And I plan to include this summer’s installment of my rant about the Twilight Zone.

Looks like a good week to visit the site.

10JUL2018 – OCF Update

photog Current Events, OCF

So, I got a surprise YouTube plug by Captain Capitalism where I advertise.  Thanks Aaron.  I figured it out when the site traffic spiked to stratospheric levels.  Aaron is a fan of the Southwest landscape photography so I reposted a Zion photo collection to go along with the every other day Grand Canyon Photos of the Day.  Hello Captain Capitalism readers and viewers.

I’ve been guiltily spending too much time reading the Leftists hyperventilate over Kennedy’s retirement  and the subsequent mouth-frothing over Kavanaugh.  I’ll have to light a candle at the shrine of Saint Schadenfreude, the Patron Saint of Spiteful Bastards.

But now back to work.  I’m about half way through the fourth volume of the Galaxy’s Edge series.  It took me a little while to make up my mind about this series but I’m convinced now.  The combat scenes, and those comprise a good chunk of the books, are first rate.  The question is where this story is heading.  The Galaxy has been cracking up for the whole length of the series so something’s gotta give soon.

My next foray into Trump humor, I think, will have a literary or historical flavor, perhaps touching on a Roman or Athenian theme.  I always imagine President Trump as akin to the Steinbrenner character on Seinfeld.  Some might think this disrespectful but I feel a kind of ownership over the man as if he were some kind of comic book character that I can summon up to amuse me while also befuddling my enemies in real life.  It’s an odd paradox I have built up around him but I have nothing but affection for the man who basically saved us single-handedly from slavery under the Clinton Crime Family.

Listening to ZMan’s guest spot on that podcast a few days ago has gotten me thinking about what I actually believe is the correct way to think and act in the increasingly hostile world that we live in.  He made some very good points about what is important and what is a waste of time and I want to try to sort through the options and come up with a rational approach to interacting with friends, enemies and neutral parties.  I don’t know if that’s one post or a few but I’m getting started on it.

And finally, I have some more macro photos of bugs and flowers and stuff and more shots from the Grand Canyon.  Tonight, I caught a Polyphemus moth and I want to take some photos of it before letting it go.  Maybe I’ll get lucky and it’ll lay some eggs.  The caterpillars are really cool looking.

So stay tuned.

03JUL2018 – OCF Update – July, The Greatest Month of the Year

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The earth revolves around the sun. Well actually they both move around the common center of gravity of the whole solar system. But since the sun is monstrously heavier than the rest of the solar system combined, this center of gravity is within the spheroid of the sun so I won’t quibble about it (starting now!). So, the year is based on the Earth’s orbit around the sun which takes 365 days and a fraction. A month is supposed to correspond to the revolution of Luna around Earth. This is about 28 days. If you try and divide 365 and a fraction by 28 and a fraction you are not going to get a whole number. And this makes perfect sense. The revolutional periods are completely unrelated. And so, we end up with months with lengths varying from 28 days to 31 days and even one that varies every four years to try and make up for the fractions. What a silly system. Days, weeks, months (if we even need them at all) and years should be decoupled and allowed to do their own thing. And don’t even get me started about daylight savings time. So, you can see I have no particular respect for the calendar and its divisions.

But there is one exception. Every year I wax poetic about my quasi-religious devotion to one particular example of the imperfect lunar division to the solar year, namely the month of July. July is the greatest human invention that I know of. In the northern hemisphere, which is the only hemisphere that I probably will ever encounter, July represents the quintessence of earthly delight. The days are long, the weather is hot and sunny, and the human spirit cries out for leisure and fun. And every year I answer that call. I make sure to take time off and commune with nature and with my friends and family, read books and watch movies, engage in various silly recreational activities, eat all kinds of delicious poisons and commit all manner of misdemeanors against the work ethic. It’s as close to heaven on earth as I know of. Now here in New England, where the inhabitants take irrational pride in their ability to withstand horrific climatic extremes of cold and sunless gloom there are many who find July too “hot.” I don’t understand it myself, but I guess we all just have different tolerances to the weather. The only thing that I can say is that I hope they have had any repairs or maintenance done to their AC system, as it will be a very long month for them if they haven’t. My friend has said that these emergency repair services from a company like Buric Heating and Air Conditioning, (burichvac.com/emergency-ac-service/) were really good for him when his system suddenly broke, as well as it happening at the worst possible time. But it’s sorted now, and he no longer finds July to be too “hot”, but lots of others still do. I guess to each his own. Maybe my Mediterranean blood is irrational in preferring extreme heat and light to more hyperborean conditions. But based on my observation of the rest of the New England persona I think humanity would confirm my bias over theirs. So I’ll take it as a given that July rules.

And the beauty of this month is that everyone else is more or less doing the same thing. Business productivity goes to hell, television is taken over by boring reruns and truly unwatchable replacement series that no one bothers with and the only people really working are amusement park and hotel employees. Even website traffic hits its low point in July. And that is good. Bloggers need time to recharge their batteries and readers need a break from blather.

Now, don’t panic. I do not intend to abandon the faithful readers of Orion’s Cold Fire. After all, writing this blog is one of the high points of my week (and we’ll talk about the origin of the week another time) and not something to be abandoned just because fun is to be had. I will be providing quotes and photos on my usual daily basis and I will comment on the unfolding Trumpocalypse on a fairly regular basis and I will provide Trump parodies and movie and book reviews as I produce them. But I might not be as punctual as I usually am and I may have a short hiatus here and there. After all, July is also my birth month and I like to be lazy right around that blessed date. So, bear with me and we’ll get through this together.

photog

How I Got Here

photog Current Events, OCF, Trump , , , , , ,

I was born in 1957.  My father and uncles fought in World War II and the Korean War.  I was raised to believe that Americans were the good guys.  And then Walter Cronkite and John Kerry said we were the bad guys in Vietnam.  A few years later Lyndon Johnson told us we were racists.  A decade later Jimmy Carter told us to let the enemies of the United States do as they pleased because we had sinned against them.  And every day the Media and the Left did everything they could to tear down our country and our spirit.  We had stagflation (stagnant economy and 20% inflation), the Iran Hostage Crisis and the Carter Malaise.  That was a low point.

And then a miracle happened.  Ronald Reagan told us we weren’t the problem and that we really were the good guys.  And it was like a cloud drifted past and the sun was shining on us again.  And like magic, everything got better.  And Americans were proud and happy again.  And even the lousy leftists seem to remember they were Americans a little and it was morning in America again.

And George H. W. Bush said it was his turn to be President and he had learned his lesson and he would be just like Reagan only smarter and kinder.  And we wanted to believe him and compared to Mike Dukakis he could have been John Wayne.  So he got his turn.  And we got a New World Order complete with higher taxes, NAFTA, shuttered factories, high unemployment, recession and Middle East War.

And that got us Bill Clinton and Hillary, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, Monica, Dot Com Bubble, Al Gore, more shuttered factories, Chinese trade imbalance and moral rot.

Everything was a muddle and a mess.  When George W Bush said he was a Christian Conservative from Texas we hoped that he would right the ship.  Avoiding Al Gore seemed like dodging a huge bullet.  We hoped that we could start to repair some of the damage from his father and the Clintons.  And the 9-11 happened.  And that was like a punch to the throat.  And W did a lot of things right.  He joined the country in a crusade to crush Al Qaeda and the Taliban.  And the young men of that generation answered the call and went to Afghanistan and crushed our enemies.  And there was hope that we could subdue the Muslim extremists and end the Middle Eastern threats once and for all.  But a unfunny thing happened.  W had his own vision of a New world Order.  And it involved draining off the blood and treasure of our country to turn the Middle East into Kansas.  And he squandered both of those precious commodities until there was nothing left.  And when he was finished Iraq wasn’t Kansas and the Democrats took the Congress and the Presidency.  All W accomplished was killing and maiming a generation of young Americans, bankrupting the country and making Barack Hussein Obama president.

Obama’s presidency was like a foreign occupation.  It was hard to decide which was worse, the injury or the insult.  He took every opportunity to belittle and shame Americans and he did whatever damage he could do.  Permanent double digit unemployment and wage stagnation had robbed a generation of the American dream and beggared their parents.  Obamacare was the biggest legislative victory he scored against us but it also seemed to galvanize the country against him.  The worst damage he did was the BLM activism that he aided and abetted.  The other mischief he sponsored was spreading alien refugees wherever he could.  And one other thing that he got behind was the whole gay marriage, transgender movement.  He discovered that he had “evolved” to recognize a constitutional right to gay marriage and this dove-tailed with the lunacy that drove Justice Anthony Kennedy to inflict a Supreme Court decision forcing another insane assault on the American family.

And so, in 2015 we had hit bottom.  It didn’t seem that anything could be done to save America from poverty and degradation.  Our choices, such as they were, were Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders and Jeb! Bush.  And we all knew neither of those two could beat Hillary.  After all Bernie was supposed to lose and the super delegate system would make sure of that.  Jeb was much too much of a gentleman to consider doing anything more than weakly protest at the unfair campaign attacks that Hillary’s machine would unleash and then good naturedly concede defeat.  And when Antonin Scalia died suddenly during the election year it seemed as if nothing could save us from the dismantling of the First and second Amendments.  This truly was the political low point of my entire life.

And then a miracle happened.  Donald J. Trump.  It seemed utterly impossible.  But there were some voices that I followed who said he was the answer and our last hope.  And interestingly they were on the Alt-Right (one specifically, Vox Day).

And they were right.

So twice in my adult life a leader has emerged who everyone said was crazy.  And they said he was wrong and would cause disaster and maybe nuclear war.  And both times he was the right man at the right time.  And just as with Reagan it’s as if a cloud has drifted out of the way and the sun is shining down on us bright and warm.

And this is what I’ve learned.  Don’t trust the elites, especially Republicans.  Not in the Media, not in Academia, not in Industry and not in Washington.  Don’t be mistaken into thinking that the Left are Americans even if they themselves are convinced they are.  They’re not, they’re globalists.  America is just an inconvenient stepping stone on the way to the global hive.  Don’t trust anyone who has been in politics for his whole life and for pity’s sake don’t make him VP.  Look for a courageous and confident leader who knows what the story is.  Look for someone who is unafraid to speak the painful truth and hurt powerful people’s feelings.  Look for someone who understands how the whole dirty business works and can’t be bought off.  Look for someone who isn’t ashamed to be an American.  And then back him to the Gates of Hell.  We may still end up crushed by the Left.  But at least we’ll know it is happening and we won’t be fooled again.

And remember, we got Reagan and Trump but there won’t be a third miracle, three strikes and you’re out.

The Anti-Anti-White Position

photog Current Events, OCF, On-Line Article Reviews, Reviews, Trump , , , , ,

Back on May 28th John Derbyshire wrote an article called “Electoral Gold for the Stupid Party—the Anti-Anti-White Vote.”  The gist of the article is that the white population of the United States may finally have reached the point where being demonized by the Left will force them to vote the self interest of their racial identity rather than political affiliation.  And the way it was couched was that even people who normally considered American identity as a non-racial concept would recognize that they were now being attacked for no other reason than because they were white.  And that rather than allow themselves to be victimized any further they would vote their own interest.

This seems to me to be a very useful way to look at the situation.  It recognizes the need for a defensive action to counter a hostile race-based ideology.  And it allows people to determine who is part of the problem and who is not.

The first category are the egregious offenders.  These are the people teaching our children about “white privilege” and patriarchy and anyone who uses the term cis-gender in anything other than an ironical way.  These people are trying to destroy this country by any and all means possible.  Examples of this group would be Antifa and that psychotic assistant professor, Melissa Click at the University of Missouri who assaulted the journalist and called for “some muscle” as she tried to remove journalists from a campus protest.

The second group is anyone who thinks these people make sense or even think they’re harmless.  These people are helping or at least tolerating this dysfunction.  This is a very large group and includes all of the people on the Left and also people on the right who can’t or won’t see what’s happening.  This would include people like Mitt Romney, Jeb Bush or any of the NeverTrumpers.  These people are just as big a problem as the first group.

The third group is anyone who doesn’t fall into either one of these first two categories.  By the logic of the Alt-Right it will soon include the majority of white Americans and no one else.  That assumes that every other racial group will see disenfranchising white people as the best strategy to advance their own interests.  But I hold out the hope that by strenuously resisting the Anti-White propaganda and labelling it as discrimination we can convince large numbers of other groups to avoid accepting these positions and eventually delegitimize them all together.

And the best way to resist this Anti-White agenda is to support Donald Trump.  By his executive actions and by his judicial appointments he is bending the federal government away from the support that the Obama administration and its judicial appointments were giving to this agenda.  But in addition, we must make sure that every other elected official we vote for is on our side.  Whether it’s the Governor, Mayor, Town Councilman or PTA Representative.  And we need to look at the companies we patronize.  We should always let a company know if it is working against our interests.  Complaining and even boycotting an offensive corporation is a good way to get our message out there.

One thing I’ve recently begun is to compile a list of Right-leaning (or at least non-Left leaning) businesses.  I call it my “Directory of Right Wing Businesses.”  Currently it’s a rudimentary effort in only a few categories but my intent is to solicit information from site visitors and other sources to make it comprehensive.  In this way I would like to provide a resource for people who prefer to support people who believe in the same things they do.  This will also make it less likely that they will be de-platformed by a website hosting service or a monetizing company if that company objects to their ideology.  If you have any suggestions please drop by and list these companies for others to benefit from.

And finally I like the framing of the movement as a resistance to a discriminatory practice.  I think it links it back to the larger issue of Anti-White practices now codefied into the US Government.  I am referring to all the racial and sexual entitlement programs that actively discriminate against white people in general and straight white men in very particular.  These need to be recognized as unjust and addressed along with these other egregious ideas.

photog Goes Full-Pollyanna On the Trumpocalypse

photog Current Events, OCF, Trump , , , , ,

Any fans of Tropic Thunder know by analogy that you never go full-Pollyanna.  And it would be wise for me to tamp down any outbursts of unbridled enthusiasm but I gotta tell you I can’t do it.  And this isn’t predicated on the IG report burying Comey & Company or Mueller calling it quits in the near future or even the Republicans holding onto the House.  I no longer think any of those things are required for Trump to get some big things done.  The country at large is starting to see what really is going on in their government and I think they see who is doing things that help them and who is not.  The G7 press conference and the Singapore meeting have provided President Trump with a stage from which to address the country directly.  They are seeing an active leader who actually addresses American concerns in the international arena.  Even his enemies like Bernie Sanders have no choice but admire his negotiating talent and ability to get off the dime with such tough customers as China and North Korea.

I think Donald Trump is intent on using his instincts for deal-making to renegotiate the globalization project in a way that re-establishes America as a manufacturing nation.  And I think Trump wants to dump all the international relationships with countries that hate America.  And that is my favorite side of him.  He is a vindictive bastard who holds a grudge like nobody’s business.  By a funny coincidence, so am I.  It would warm my vendetta-loving heart to see him giving all our many false friends in the United Nations a hearty heave-ho over the side of USS America First.  Every tin-pot Latin American, African and Middle Eastern dictator who ever chanted death to America should get evicted from his digs on the Upper East Side of Manhattan and sent packing back to the inhuman hellhole he came from.  And I think he intends to use the NAFTA negotiations to address the illegal immigration problem.  After all, why would you give free trading access to a country that openly advocates flooding your country with illegal aliens?  And I think the NAFTA negotiations are the basis for President Trump’s statement that Mexico will pay for the wall.  He will make them pay for the NAFTA agreement with a closed border and repatriation.

So that’s why I’m a big old optimist.  And every day The Donald says or does something that makes me smile or chuckle with unrestrained schadenfreude.  Every shot he takes at Hollywood or The Press or The Swamp or the Dems is music to my ears.  And now, even when I hear of the latest anti-Trump atrocity (like by that imbecile De Niro), I am only mildly amused to think that these buzzing gnats are impotently attacking a giant that doesn’t even have a weapon small enough to use on them.  They can only be mocked or ignore.

Of course, this does leave me with a problem.  Ginning up outrage is sorta my whole stock in trade.  I’m going to have to find a new source of outrage.  Hmmmm.  Well, I could go after nuns.  I still owe them payback for the 8th Grade.  That might work.  Okay Sister Gertrude, put on your game face, it’s on!

10JUN2018 – Looking Ahead to the News Week That Will Be

photog Current Events, OCF, On-Line Article Reviews, Trump , , ,

Camera Girl and I hosted some friends last weekend that we haven’t seen in almost thirty years.  Suffice it to say we had a lot of catching up.  Kids, grandkids, deaths, relocations, you name it.  And we definitely ate too much and stayed up too late.  So, I sort of lost rack of events.  I knew the G7 was going on and I read that the North Korean summit was coming up but I didn’t really pay much attention to the actual dates.

I come to find out that the G7 is over and the North Korea summit is coming up.  So, I watched a clip on CTH  https://youtu.be/WC0qDoAE2H4  of the President’s press conference after the G7 and in anticipation of the summit.  Man, this guy is so much fun.  He just bats these idiots in the press around like they’re punching bags.  I love the bravado and the shots he takes at his enemies and the pounding away at the message, “the era of taking advantage of the United States through tariffs is over.”

And when one reporter asks him a loaded question, Trump shoots back, “Who do you work for?”  When the reporter admits CNN, Trump smirks and says “Knew it, fake news.”

So, this week we have G7 results, North Korea summit and the report from the DOJ Inspector General.  The G7 was an example of pygmies posturing around a giant and not doing a very convincing job of it.  Trudeau from Canada made noises as if he were going to put Trump in his place.  But instead Trudeau just looked like a three-year-old holding his breath hoping to get his way.  With respect to North Korea, Trump was honest and said it was slightly better than fifty-fifty as to outcome.  But he seems fine in the knowledge and stresses that just making the effort is a worthwhile thing.  Personally, I have no illusions about the reliability of Kim.  But I definitely think something positive may develop simply because Trump likes to stir the pot and see what develops.  It makes me hopeful that he may interject himself personally into other areas of foreign affairs.

But the elephant in the room is the IG’s report.  At this point expectations have gotten so high that it’s almost inevitable that it will be a let-down.  Let’s face it, anything short of McCabe pointing the finger at Loretta Lynch will feel like the opener rather than the headliner.  I mean let’s face it, unless someone pretty big is facing a decade in prison he isn’t going to spill his guts on his bosses.  And make no mistake that’s the only thing short of firing that will put Mueller out of business.  I think the report is fifty-fifty.  It could be dynamite, it could be a nothing burger.  If no one is getting arrested (or at least indicted) I’ll consider it a huge disappointment and a major setback for the President’s agenda.

But just to reiterate, watching a President Trump speech or news conference is incredibly entertaining and encouraging.  I’ve said a million times, what we really need is for Trump to name a successor (not Pence) before the end of his term.  If we could bottle what he’s got it would make it possible to turn the table on these awful leftists and their endless onslaught against normalcy.

Trump vs The Big Boredom

photog Current Events, Humor, OCF, Trump , , , ,

Dramatis Personae: President Trump – (PT); Melania Trump – (MT); photog – (PH)

Scene 1- 8am White House West Wing; Presidential Living Quarters; President Trump and Melania sitting at the breakfast table

PT – Schmoopey, I’m telling you, I can’t take it anymore.

MT – Schmoopey, what is all this big deal about? What can you not take more of?

PT – Washington, I can’t stand this place anymore. It’s so boring. I’m ready to jump on Air Force One and go hang out with Putin.

MT – No, please Schmoopey do not. There are terrible women there who do not know what a shower is and so they wet the bed. Be wise. Stay far away from them.

PT – But I’ve got to do something or I’ll explode. Think of something.

MT – Can I call Vice Mike? He is a smart man.

PT – Nooo!!! He’s more boring than Crying Chuck Schumer. Maybe I should go see Bubba Clinton.

MT – You will not call that awful, awful man. The way he stared at me during your in-swearing made me think of the devil. Lying Hillary must be a witch to live with such a devil.

PT – Well then who is left?

MT – You must summon the photog.

PT – What, that loser? He’s no fun.

MT – But he knows about the boredom. He is after all poor.

PT – That’s true, I’ve seen the truck he drives. Sure, I’ll call him. If worst comes to worst I can have the Secret Service waterboard him, that might be fun.

MT – And you are smiling already!

Scene 2 – 8pm White House West Wing; Oval Office; President Trump sitting at desk, photog just entering the door.

PH – Here I am Mr. President.

PT – What the hell took you so long? I called for you ten hours ago.

PH – Mr. President, I was at work when you called. I didn’t get your call until I got back to my desk after a three-hour morning meeting.

PT – Desk? What about your cell phone?

PH – I don’t own one.

PT – For pity’s sake, what are you, Rip Van Winkle?

PH – They seem like an annoyance to me.

PT – Sure they’re annoying but how can you get anything done without one? How do you get your messages and read your tweets?

PH – Yeah, I manage to muddle through with a laptop and a land line. I don’t “tweet.”

PT – You’re like that frozen Neanderthal. They should put you in the American Museum of Natural History.

PH – Yes, that’s what they should do. Anyway, how can I help you.

PT – Well after finding out what a luddite you are I’m pretty sure you’re not the guy I should talk to about overcoming boredom. You’ve got snooze tattooed on your forehead in three inch letters.

PH – Well since you’ve already dragged me here why don’t we take a stab at it anyway. Why are you bored?

PT – What a stupid question! I’m bored because Washington is the most boring place on earth. Everybody is a phony and a liar and a loser.

PH – Actually that is true. Why don’t you get out of Washington once in a while and talk to some actual humans instead of Washington pod people?

PT – I can’t. The Secret Service keeps me penned up in here like a zoo animal.

PH – Well, they let you do those arena events where you talk to the crowd.

PT – Yeah, but that’s just me talking. I’m pretty much sick of hearing myself talk and tweet and everything else. I want to get some interesting talk.

PH – Hmmm. Well how about your voters? They’re an interesting group.

PT – photog, if you’re representative of them then I can’t afford to let them know just how much I despise them. For instance, I can barely restrain myself from having the Secret Service waterboard you just to shut you up.

PH – Thanks so much. Well look, the people who voted for you run the gamut from idiots to geniuses, saints to sinners, billionaires to bums. If you want to hear some interesting stuff figure out how to engage all these people in some communication with your government. You tweet, but that’s a few words at a time and it’s a one-way flow of information. You need something like your rallies but with some kind of messaging. Maybe a live stream event. If you can get a team to sift through the messages you’ll find a gold mine of interesting questions and suggestions. And you can craft answers to those questions and you’ll find that it will capture the imagination of the right wing if they feel like they can talk to the President. And you’ll have interesting things to talk about and you won’t be bored.

PT – You know, that’s not the stupidest idea I ever heard.

PH – So, do you think you’ll do it?

PT – Either that or nuke Sweden. It’s six of one, half dozen of the other.

PH – Wow. Well, is there anything else?

PT – No, you can go now. Don’t let the door hit you in the butt on the way out. But make sure you tell the Secret Service that the aterway oardingbay is ancelledcay.

PH – Good seeing you again too, Mr. President.

 

On a more local note I’ve been intrigued by the general dearth of comments.  Now this is my first blog so maybe it’s how it works but I’m curious, so I have a survey poll on it.  I’ll leave it on the next few posts and I look forward to the info I get.

[socialpoll id=”2506495″]