Tag: Facebook

The Metaverse?  Really?

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I read today that Meta (Facebook) is tanking on Wall Street because the Metaverse (Mark Zuckerberg’s vision of a virtual reality existence for his customers on the internet) is meaningless nonsense that nobody would waste his time on.  So untold billions of dollars of corporate value has evaporated as supposedly one of the most valuable corporations in the world had thousands of highly paid computer scientists playing around with Oculus 3D headsets and video games.

I don’t know about anyone else but I have to wonder whether these geniuses maybe aren’t really all that bright.  I’ve always suspected that the federal government has used its seemingly inexhaustible supply of fake money to make Amazon, Google and Facebook horribly rich monopolies in exchange for the data that they mine from us.  Amazon was allowed to drive their brick-and-mortar competition out of business and Google strangled newspapers, television and every other advertising outlet.  And Facebook was allowed to get a piece of that action, as was, to a much smaller extent, Twitter.  But I think in the back of his mind Zuckerberg has always thought that eventually the jig would be up.  Google takes care of all the ads.  What is Facebook for?

So, he tried to answer that question by imagining a new world that was so flashy and fun that everyone would be glad to waste all their time just being CGI versions of themselves and flying around.  The only thing is it turns out it’s really just boring and ridiculous.  Who wants to sit around all day with a 3D headset on doing basically nothing?

Maybe the good news about all this is people are starting to wake up to the limits of living on-line.  What is accomplished by staring through a headset for hours at a time.  Is anything being produced?  Is anyone benefited?

It’s probably time for on-line companies to concentrate on a subscription model for services that people actually want.  Amazon at least sells stuff and ships it to you very quickly.  What does Facebook do besides spy on you?  Really, not very much.  At least when they weren’t suspending and banning conservatives, they had some rationale for saying they were a social networking medium.  Now they’re some kind of nanny state surveillance bureau to stop normal people from communicating with each other.

So, I’m interested to see what Elon Musk starts doing with his new domain after tomorrow.  Right now, Twitter is even more pathetic than Facebook.  But at least it knows it.  It doesn’t make enough ad money to show a profit and mostly it doesn’t seem like there’s anyone actually there watching.  Although it’s hard to tell because anyone I’d be interested in is shadow-banned by definition.

I’m hoping Musk starts out by unbanning everyone and eliminating the algorithmic bias against normal people.  Just starting with that might cause some interesting things to happen.  It might not make any people on our side suddenly stars but it might turn off the spotlight that currently shines on the Left.  I’d enjoy that.

But long term we might find out whether someone smart could make money running a town square for real and without a big government subsidy to pay the bills.  Somehow, I’m still hopeful that the idea of on-line communities can have some value.  Maybe all that’s needed is an honest broker allowing likeminded folks to form communities that can benefit each other.    Or maybe that’s a mirage and only government money keeps these things like YouTube afloat.  But it’s time to find out.

One thing I know for sure is that the Metaverse as Mark Zuckerberg imagines it, as some kind of free floating Holo-deck on the cheap isn’t an actual thing that millions of people will pay to inhabit.  And the idea that people will pay money to purchase virtual land in this absurd dreamscape is beyond ludicrous.  To me this exposes the juvenile sensibilities of the people running these companies.  The industry is deeply in need of adult supervision.  Maybe Musk will show himself to be in that category.

Elon Musk and Twitter

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Everyone’s heard that Elon Musk has made an offer to buy Twitter and convert it into a privately held company.  And if you asked me my opinion about this situation I’d have to say, “What the hell is Twitter and why should I care?”  I looked up Twitter and what I learned is that it’s a social media website that allows any idiot to post a message up to a maximum of 288 characters long (but somehow this doesn’t count any enormously larger attached video clip).

But the proviso is that the poster has to be a brain-dead doofus.  For non-doofuses your every utterance will be scrutinized by uber-leftist social justice warriors who will report any violations against Democrat party talking points to the commissars at Twitter’s Ministry of Truth where you will be suspended either temporarily or permanently and then cast into the outer darkness where there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth.

So, the supposedly smartest and richest man in the world wants to buy this company.  Why?  What will be accomplished if he owns this weird network?  Will he somehow level the playing field?  Will his employees allow this to happen?  Will the government allow this to happen or will they instead administer a death by a thousand paper cuts?  And is Twitter really of any value to the world?  Does it have an impact?

I have to confess I’ve never really understood the allure of a 288-character snippet of information.  That’s like forty, fifty words.  So far, this post is about 250 words and I haven’t really finished the initial idea.  If a tweet is really just a headline for an attached normal sized post, I guess that would make sense.  Is it just that Twitter has such a large user base that it acts as a global bulletin board?

Okay, but if you were the richest man in the world and also supposedly one of the most technologically savvy individuals couldn’t you just build something better from the ground up?    And you wouldn’t even have to do it alone.  Peter Thiel is another tech billionaire who is interested in free speech concerns with the social media platforms.  Couldn’t these two titans of industry capitalize on the demand of a public that is hungry for a level political playing field and build something much, much better than Twitter, YouTube or Facebook?  After all, much less savvy people have begun to create alternates to Twitter, YouTube and Facebook.

Surely the financial and intellectual resources that an Elon Musk or a Peter Thiel can bring to bear on this kind of opportunity must be considerable.  And if Musk is seriously considering buying Twitter, then he has identified it as a viable business opportunity.  He doesn’t need to spend tens of billions of dollars to create an exciting and profitable business that already has a large population of people who would make up its user base.  Probably one billion dollars would get the job done.  And what’s one crummy billion dollars to Elon Musk?

I hold out the possibility that Musk is hoping that Twitter rejects his offer and that he plans to build his own platform.  Maybe this whole bid is a publicity stunt to advertise his own entry into the social media business.  I hope it is.  Places like Gab and Truth don’t have the clout needed to compete with the established social media platforms.  And, honestly, it’s not enough to just provide a similar product.  Twitter and Facebook aren’t providing a satisfying product.  They thrive merely because they currently enjoy a monopolistic stranglehold on the niches they created.  What’s needed is something that provides a healthier environment for people on-line.  A truly honest marketplace of ideas would be that healthier environment.

So, Elon Musk and Peter Thiel and any other entrepreneurs out there who see an opportunity in Twitter’s partisan methods; don’t try to fix Twitter.  Instead, bury it with a superior platform.  And make obscene amounts of money doing it.

Outcompeting The Left

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Millennials aren’t patriots.  And they aren’t individualists.  They’re mostly sort of like grade-school children.  In fact, grade-school children that went to a really artsy-fartsy grade school.  There’s no way we are going to turn them into revolutionaries, ready to storm the barricades in search of liberty.  They don’t want liberty.  They want a latte.

But millennials will someday soon be the majority of voters in this country.  So even if they don’t believe in what we believe in we can get them to follow us if we can outcompete the woke option.  “What the hell is photog talking about?” you’re probably saying to yourself.  Let me explain.

Currently Silicon Valley is almost entirely composed of woke companies that have been telling millennials for twenty years that they are not only smart but also good.  Google famously had a motto “Don’t be Evil.”  Facebook, Twitter and all the other social sites spend half of their time just banning anyone who won’t acknowledge the need to worship the cult of pronouns.  Undoubtedly that sort of mean girl social selection activity has a definite demographic cohort that will relish that environment.  We call them Karens.  And right now, they seem to be the dominant life-form on planet Earth.  But as powerful as they are, I think there is a very large chunk of the millennial population that would like something more interesting to look at and talk about than Karen’s latest battle against accidental misgendering.

So how hard could it be to come up with a site that’s more interesting than that.  Look at what Substack has recently done.  They provide a platform for (among other things) journalists who are too normal to survive in the woke media environment.  Guys as liberal as Glenn Greenwald and Matt Taibbi were hurled into the outer darkness by the likes of Rolling Stone and The Intercept because they thought that journalism should be factual.  Not unbiased mind you, but just not completely fake.  Now they’re making more money than they did previously by committing actual journalism and providing a service to readers who are tired of being lied to.

Other social sites have slowly begun to appear to compete head-to-head with the likes of YouTube and Facebook.  Rumble, Gab and BitChute are tiny players but they provide a service that isn’t available from YouTube.  The market for their product is growing and will continue to do so.  And it is attracting people with deeper pockets like Peter Thiele.

These are the beginnings of competition.  They barely register on Big Tech’s radar.  But that will change.  Better product will draw customers.  And honestly the entertainment value of Facebook and Twitter is pretty low.  I can easily imagine someone monetizing the audience that exists for reality-based news and entertainment.  It will happen and when it does it will attract more than just a right-wing audience.  It will attract everyone except for the left-wing ideologues.  A good example of that is the recent news that Greg Gutfeld was now the “King of Late-Night Comedy.”  Greg Gutfeld isn’t a conservative.  But he’s a libertarian who doesn’t alienate the conservatives who enjoy his humor.  He is vague enough about his own personal beliefs that Trump fans and normies think of him as their guy.  And that’s good enough.  I’d like it better if there were an even more right-wing guy who came on after Gutfeld on Fox News.  Someone a little more edgy but it’s a beginning.  If Fox News were smart, they’d give the Babylon Bee guys their own show too.  Of course, they currently have a YouTube channel of their own but I wouldn’t be surprised if YouTube eventually shut them down.  They’re that funny I assume they’ll be considered a threat.

And that’s my point.  The Left has become “all fake all the time.”  In the long run that becomes quite boring.  It can be outcompeted in a marketplace of ideas.  So, all we need to do is create that marketplace and let reality do the rest.

Being Right on the Net

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Google, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Amazon, PayPal, Apple, Microsoft, Kickstarter, etc., etc., etc.  The internet giants will be doing everything in their power to shut down the opposition to Dementia Joe.  They will de-platform, ban and demonetize everyone on the right they can think of.

Will this work?  No, not really.  What it will do is change the basis of how things will work going forward.  Conservatives won’t be able to free ride on the social network platforms and monetize their popularity through Google’s monolithic stranglehold on the flow of information and internet advertising.  The Right will be forced to set themselves up as Mom-and-Pop shops doing their advertising in places like Parler and Gab.  Well, so what?  That’s probably a good idea.  Being under the thumb of the Tech Giants means having to pass their ever more biased speech codes until you’d end up either sounding exactly like the Left or completely silent.

The harder challenge will be the banks and credit companies.  PayPal and some of the other e-commerce payment processors have also been cancelling out the accounts of people whose politics they don’t approve of.  The last I heard there are some alternate processors who will serve instead.  There are probably problems associated with the alternatives but right now those are the breaks.  It can be expected that the Left will continue to put pressure on these alternate providers to close ranks to try to starve out the Right.  And for that reason, in the future it should be a priority of any organized front on the Right to build up financial platforms of our own to protect us from the Left’s blockade actions.

Up until now I haven’t monetized my site at all.  I really want to find out if I have anything worth selling.  But I have noticed a few folks making the first moves to putting in paywalls around some content and accepting a few reasonable ads on their sites.  I like what the ZMan is doing.  He gives a plug for businesses that are owned by conservatives.  That makes a lot of sense.  We’re going to have to have a lot more of exactly that.

And I’ve been threatening to finish a book I’ve been working on for months.  Well, the excitement of the last couple of months has set me back at least that long but one day I’ll be peddling my opus magnum and I’ll have to decide whether I will use Amazon exclusively or try some other venue.  Maybe I’ll even have a store of my own.  We’ll see.

But the thing about all this is that it would go a lot faster and easier if we had a billionaire who had the wherewithal to set something up that catered to us.  A combination Facebook, YouTube, PayPal and Kickstarter just for the Right.  No more deplatforming, no more banning no more doxxing.  Basically, a place of our own.  And meanwhile the billionaire would make money hand over fist doing it.  Think of the merchandising and other opportunities available from having almost a monopoly over about 150 million Americans.  Now that really is worth the trouble of setting up.

If you’re reading this Mr. President think about it.  Building that would feel like a revolution all by itself.

Here’s some links for web hosting for conservatives and social media for us.

Is a Million Dollars a Tweet Too Much?

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The Senate is debating whether they should remove the Section 230 protection from the internet.  No, I would leave that status available to sites that warrant it.  What I would do is specifically prosecute Twitter, Facebook and Google for violating the equal protection rights of their users.  These companies run actual monopolies for the services they provide.  And the users who have political or social positions that do not align with those of the management of Twitter, Facebook and Google are being treated differently from everyone else based on these political and social opinions.

And to those who give the lame argument that Google, Facebook and Twitter are for profit companies and would never do something that was against their financial interests like disrespecting a large proportion of their user base, I’d say well let’s find out.  How about fining these companies a million bucks each time they delete a tweet or shadow ban a post?  Or how about a billion dollars when they de-platform a conservative channel for a supposed offense that isn’t actually illegal?  That would be a real test.  For that kind of money even I’d create a YouTube channel and try to get them to de-platform me.

No, forget all that.  These tech giants are an existential threat to all of us.  Declaring each of them a monopoly and crippling them is a better idea.  I’d have one of the judges that isn’t against us carve these creeps into little tiny pieces.  Or how about nationalize them.  Turn them into a utility that is heavily regulated by the government just like the phone companies are.  And that will allow us to rein in some of their worse excesses like harvesting our data and spying on us.  And anyone complaining about content would have to get a lawyer and try to sue in court to have content removed.

Of course, the much-vaunted algorithms would need to be opened up and exposed to the light of day.  All of the built-in bias against conservatives and Republicans would be there to see.  Can you imagine how great it would be to see a search on Donald Trump not have the top results be CNN and MSNBC?  It would be a revelation.

Let’s face it.  If you make money through e-commerce being banned by Facebook and Google is devastating.  It’s like what would have happened fifty years ago if AT&T would have been allowed to prevent someone from having a telephone line based on their political or religious affiliations.  It’s as if today the interstate highways could be closed to you just because you called the Bidens a treasonous crime family.  It would be as if the television and cable channels were allowed to restrict campaign ads based on which candidate they favored.  Oh, wait a minute, forget that last one.  They’re actually doing it now.

And finally, I want this done because I know that both the President and I would spend at least a month crowing about it on the internet.  I would celebrate by going on all three platforms and mocking the management relentlessly.  I would welcome back all the re-platformed right-wingers and perform virtual victory dances in the most obnoxious and annoying ways I can think of.  And I’m sure the President will do the same.  So please President Trump, get the Justice department on the hop.  Make this a priority and makes these bastards sweat like they’ve done to countless people on the Right.  Here’s another great Christmas present for all of us.  Even before they get carved up make them stop the abuse.  Beat them like an army mule and make them say uncle and then beat’em again just for good measure.

The Silicon Valley Monopolies Must be Splintered and Wrenched Away from the SJWs

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Back in 1982 the United States federal government decreed that American Telephone and Telegraph Company was a destructive monopoly and for the good of the country needed to be dismembered.  Their sin was that they were so big and successful that no other company would ever be able to successfully compete against them.  Now AT&T was a heavily regulated company and was controlled by a network of government regulations about how they did business and how they had to treat the American public.  In many places phone service was treated as an entitlement that not even non-payment by the consumer justified AT&T disconnecting the service.  And in the hundred plus years of service AT&T never once asked what the consumer’s politics, ethics or even criminal activities were.  They just wanted you to pay the bill every month.

In 2019 Facebook, Twitter, Google and Amazon are the phone company.  We talk to each other and sell things to each other and organize with each other over their networks.  And they are more than the phone company.  They are now also the equivalent of the newspapers, television networks, radio stations, movie theaters and more.  Now Amazon has become Sears and Kmart and even the grocery store, the hardware store, the bookstore, the drug store, the music store, the electronics store, the shoe store, the clothes store and almost every other retail establishment that has ever existed.  Other than a few megastores like Walmart and Home Depot no one can compete with Amazon.  The shopping malls and retail streets of every city and town in America have been emptied and shuttered by this business behemoth.

These companies are the very definition of monopolies that the anti-trust laws were written to guard against.  They cry out for some kind of action.  And if they had no other agenda than to make money by the tera-buck they would need to be busted up.  But that’s actually the smaller problem.

The real problem is that they have taken sides in the culture war and have indeed formed an overarching conspiracy to crush anyone and everyone who disagrees with their radical progressive agenda.  And their monolithic control allows them to banish anyone they disagree with from access to the audience needed to communicate, organize and resist the progressive narrative.  And even that’s not the worst of it.

They have joined forces with corporate America to literally destroy the lives and livelihoods of those they dislike.  With the help of social justice warriors on-line they can get a man fired from his job, SWAT-ed by the local police, have his guns confiscated, ejected from his bank and deplatformed from his own web-business.  So far, they haven’t been able literally throw you into a gulag but I’m sure they’re working on it as we speak.

So, imagine if back in the day AT&T or the local electric company or gas company had sent you a letter that said that because they didn’t like your politics or things you said they were turning off your service.  How long would it be before the Feds put the screws to that utility company and fined them until they desisted from discriminating against American citizens?

The Anti-Trust Division of the Department of Justice works for William Barr.  Barr works for President Trump and he works for me because I voted for him.  I want President Trump to tell Barr to take Amazon and bust it into a thousand pieces.  I want him to cut off all federal funds to Facebook, Google and Twitter and then fine those lousy cretins into bancruptcy for discriminating against non-progressives of all stripes.  I want him to investigate Pay Pal, Stripe, Wells Fargo, Chase Manhattan and any other financial institution that deplatformed any non-progressive businessmen just because they don’t like their politics or religious beliefs.

Sure, there are plenty of other things that the President needs to do but these things will strengthen his supporters, weaken his enemies, take money away from the Leftists and besides everything else it’s easy to do because it’s exactly what the law tells him he should do.  It’s low hanging fruit and it’s a no-brainer.  And besides everything else it will be fun.

So, do it!

Larry Correia and the Facebook Trolls

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Larry is the author of some very fun urban and high fantasy (e. g., the Monster Hunter books) and the man who originated the Sad Puppy insurgency.  Because of the latter, the whole science fiction SJW troop hates him with a burning passion.  So every now and then they erupt in a spasm of spite.  So they’ve been messing with his Facebook page by reporting imaginary violations.  Larry, being the imaginative type came up with a game to mock this harassment and, of course, was banned again for the imaginary stuff too.  It’s kind of complicated but if you’ve following the Sad Puppy saga for as long as I have you might get a chuckle.

 

“Long live Krasnovia!

 

Banned Again. Facebook Gets Even Dumber, Part III: The Saga Continues

 

 

What Can We Learn from the Death of Gab?

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Vox and the Z-Man have posts up on the shutting down of Gab.

http://thezman.com/wordpress/?p=15418

https://voxday.blogspot.com/2018/10/they-cant-say-i-didnt-warn-them_28.html

There are a few ways of talking about this.  First off, we can discuss what is lost by a Gab shutdown.  Personally, I’ve never really completely understood Twitter or Gab.  It just seemed like everyone linking to everyone else but not actually reading the content.  What the actual value of that is escapes me.  I tried reading my linked content many times and found it a muddled mess.  Maybe that’s what happens when a million people are mixed in a blender together.  But I will confess I probably just didn’t know what I was doing.  So, all in all from a personal point of view it won’t actually affect me.  Now, maybe it has actually been useful for other folks for communication and publicity.  If anyone has found it valuable, say so in the comments.  But from my point of view it wasn’t very useful.

The next way we can look at it is what can we learn from how it was shut down.  Andrew Torba was vehement that he wanted freedom of speech to be the defining characteristic of Gab.  That sounds like a laudable ideal.  In practice, however, the content became pretty foul.  There were some pretty crazy people on the site.  Now, it’s unclear how much was just trolling by those looking to destroy Gab and which was legitimate nutbaggery.  But regardless, the result was unpleasant and chaotic.  Not being a Twitter user maybe I’m just unaware that this is par for the course in a social media arena.  If that is so then it sort of reinforces my impression that Twitter and all these social media environments are toxic places that are mostly about battling your enemies for sport.  I run a very different type of website.  It’s a microscopic place compared to Gab (never mind Twitter).  But we have to deal with the same questions of how to regulate the written interactions between real people.  I have the advantage that I can monitor the discussions on my own.  The scope is possible in a small venue.  For a place like Twitter or Gab it becomes expensive and difficult to maintain a consistent policy because of the need for multiple individuals with their individual points of view.  With respect to freedom of speech on my site, I tell people they can speak their minds but keep it reasonable.  Obviously, that isn’t a highly precise statement.  What I’m trying to say is stay within legal and cultural norms.  Different people have different perspectives on those and the only standard that I have to decide on what conforms and what doesn’t is my own judgement.  But that isn’t too different from any other venue where people interact and debate.  I’m guessing that a truly free speech site will always be a sort of giant demolition derby.  If your site is perceived as being on the right-wing it is clear that you will be punished whenever the opportunity presents itself so allowing the crazier individuals to let it all hang out will eventually lead to the situation that occurred at Gab.  So, the lesson to learn is a fully free speech site is not going to happen in the present environment.

And finally, we can look at what should be changed to avoid this waste of resources.  The first thing that comes to mind is an analysis could be done to find out exactly what are the useful functions that a Twitter, Facebook or YouTube serves and how, if at all, they could be replicated in a competing right-wing entity.  I am hardly qualified to do such an analysis but I’ll at least attempt to discuss some of the more obvious answers.  The two most important functions these sites accomplish is communication and commerce.  The sites allow people to find their audience.  To the extent that they are right-wing sites I guess that will help pre-select for the audience intended.  The second function is allowing content creators to monetize their product.  This will be tied into advertising revenue.  From what I’ve heard advertising revenues, even on established giants like YouTube and Instagram, are shrinking drastically.  What I think this all means is that a viable right-wing social media site will be a site where content providers will pay a fee to obtain visibility and the site will provide amenities like video storage space, band-width and some amount of moderation of the trolls.  Eventually, popular content producers will be able to sell advertising on their videos and other content products.  To me this seem to be the future of right-wing social media.  And it seems like a reasonable model.  Eventually the site will develop other ways to monetize its value.  Subscriptions like Netflix and Amazon eventually will be the end state.

So that’s my take on what can be learned from the Gab debacle.  Experience is the cruelest teacher but the most effective.

A Crack in the Facebook Wall

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The New York Times published a story about a Facebook employee who started an employee group as a protest against the leftist mono-culture at the company.  If you read the article you’ll see that all the charges he makes are reflections of the obvious and pervasive anti-conservative nature of Facebook .  Since I try never to link to the Times I have a derivative article on zero-hedge.  The fact that the New York Times published this item leads me to believe that this group inside Facebook will be the controlled opposition used to allow Facebook to pretend to be tolerant of other points of view.

https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2018-08-29/facebook-engineers-stunning-admission-we-tear-down-posters-welcoming-trump

The only good thing about all this is that it indicates the President is putting at least some pressure on these Silicon Valley  types.  Other than that I’m sure it will be business as usual at FacebookGoogleTwitter.

Trump vs the Diamond and Silk Embargo

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Dramatis Personae:  President Trump – (PT); Jeff Sessions (JS); Mark Zuckerberg (MZ); Larry Page – (LP); Lynnette “Diamond” Hardaway – (LDH);  Rochelle “Silk” Richardson – (RSR);

 

Scene 1 – White House West Wing, Monday 8 am.  Inside the Oval Office President Trump is at his desk and his receptionist is speaking over the intercom

PT – What is it Patty, you know I don’t like to be disturbed while reading Orion’s Cold Fire at breakfast.  I find his blend of good natured Trump ribbing and incisive political analysis is just the thing to start my day off great.

(voice over intercom) – I’m sorry Mr. President but I’ve got Diamond and Silk on the line and they’re very upset.

PT – Put them through Patty, I’ll set this straight right now.

LDH – Are you there President Donald Trump?

PT – I am Diamond.

RSR – Hello President Donald Trump.

PT – Hello Silk.  It is so good to hear from both of you.

LDH – Well we wish it was a happier occasion Mr. President but we are calling to ask for your help.

PT – What has gotten you two upset?

RSR – Mr. President, it’s that Facebook nerd, that Zuckerberg.  He’s rippin us off.

LDH – Yeah, he shut down our site.  And that other weasel Larry Page from Google shut down our YouTubes on “The Viewers View.”  We are losing substantial coin.

PT – Diamond and Silk, this is an outrage.  Why would they do this?

RSR – They said that we are “Unsafe to Community” and that the shutdown is irrevocable.

LDH – Mr. President we know they are doing this to get at you.  Please help us.

PT – Diamond and Silk, do not worry.  This outrage will not stand.

RSR – Thank you Mr. President, you truly are the greatest President.

PT – Yes, Silk I truly am.  Now, I’ll be in touch with news very soon.  And don’t worry.  The full power of the United States government and all its employees will be working on nothing else but this problem until it is solved.

LDH & RSR – Thanks you President Trump. (hang up).

PT – (President Trump hits a button on his phone and starts to talk) – Sessions get up here right now.  And don’t give me any of that crap about cleaning out the FBI.  A snail would cover more ground than you have.

 

Scene 2 – Later that same day.  White House audio-visual studio.  President Trump is standing in front of two teleconferencing screens with images of Mark Zuckerberg and Larry Page visible.  Jeff Sessions standing to the side.

PT – Zuckerberg, Page, I want to know why you two idiots are harassing those two women.  Surely you internet geniuses have better things to do than persecute a couple of African American sisters from North Carolina.

MZ – Donald, the suspension is irrevocable.  An algorithm made the decision and as you know computers are never wrong. (disappears from the screen)

LP – Donald, the kind of hate speech that they employ is too hurtful to ever appear on YouTube.  We cannot be swayed.  Have a googley good day. (also breaks the connection).

PT – (mumbling under his breath) Donald, huh.

JS – How would you like to proceed Mr. President.

PT – Get the warrants and set up the live stream for 8pm tonight.

 

Scene 3 – 8pm that night.  White House audio-visual studio.  President Trump is sitting behind a desk.  Television equipment is set up.

PT – Hello everyone on the World Wide Web I interrupt your porn viewing for a very important message.  Earlier this evening agents of the Justice Department, the honest ones that is, under a court order shut down Facebook, Twitter and Google.  An investigation concluded that they were in violation of anti-discrimination against women and African Americans.  Of course, they were also discriminating against millions of straight white men too but, of course, that’s legal.

After signing off on a consent decree these companies will be re-opened.  And to make sure things don’t get off on the wrong foot I’ve had the Justice Department make some changes to their Boards of Directors. I’ve reduced their other members and added Diamond, Silk and James Damore to each of the boards.  We anticipate no more problems going forward.  Okay, that’s all.  You can go back to your porn you losers.

 

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