New York is jumping on California’s reparations bandwagon. I expect there will be a bumper crop of twenty something white kids kissing the shoes of black people in New York City. And I imagine all the fun mischief that could be extracted with the help of some makeup and various shoe contaminants. But what really interests me is where are all the reparations?
I mean, if I’m a black Californian, I must be thinking where are my millions of dollars? This thing has been kicking around for a long time but no money has been forthcoming. So, what the hell is going on? I have to assume that California is made up of at least 51% anti-black racists. And that’s odd. Because California is less than 50% white. That seems to imply that there are non-white racists which I’ve been told is impossible according to the prevailing definition of racism.
So how does this get resolved? My hope was that the Silicon Valley billionaires pool their capital and provide the reparations out of pocket. So, I googled a few numbers and did some back of the envelope calculations (you know, engineers, right?) And I found out some stuff.
|Black population of California
|Resources of ultra rich Californians
|Cost of Reparations (per person)
|Total cost of Reparations
Now I ballparked reparations to be what I would want if someone was going to give me a crazy lump sum. I mean, who is going to argue he “needs” more than ten million bucks? Well, not believably. I defined ultra rich as having a net worth of a billion dollars or more.
But it turns out these billionaires aren’t all that rich after all. Between the bunch of them they have less than 5% of the twenty trillion dollars needed. They couldn’t even crack a single trillion by pooling all their wealth. Losers!
So, California is in a sort of pickle. They’ve yakked and yakked about these reparations but truth be told, they don’t have the cash in hand. You know, maybe they can borrow the twenty trillion from Uncle Sam. He’s a sucker for a sob story. I mean he hands out trillions like they were going out of style. I think the national debt is something north of thirty-seven trillion so twenty trillion is at least heard of. And the Biden administration is a big fan of California. He’s copying their energy policy. So maybe he’ll give them a loan, that they’ll never pay back. But then the rest of the states will want the same deal. And based on my similarly back of the envelope calculations Washington will have to print up about $600,000,000,000,000 (six hundred trillion dollars). Whoa!
Now I don’t think anyone has much experience with that kind of deficit spending but I’m gonna guess that wheel barrels of hundred-dollar bills wouldn’t begin to describe what kind of hyperinflation we’d be looking at. Even Zimbabwe would be impressed at that kind of fiscal insanity.
Someone might say, well, maybe we can cut it down to one million dollars apiece. That would cut the whole thing down to 60 trillion dollars. Sure, we’d still be relegating the United States to banditry and possibly cannibalism just to stay alive. But how can someone in California survive on a one-time cash settlement of one million dollars? It’s laughably insufficient. In four or five years many of these folks would be looking for another reparation. And then where would we be?
No, it’s six hundred trillion or nothing as far as I can tell. So, I hope they get their act together in California and get this show on the road. They only know for a fact that Biden will be in office for another year and so he’ll need that pen of his to write the executive order to authorize the $600,000,000,000,000 check he’ll have to cut for this worthy project.
Come on Joe. Better hurry up. Printing all those bills is gonna take a while. November is almost here.