When confronted with the fresh plagiarism accusation the besieged Harvard president was heard to plaintively ask, “Did I do that?”
Category: Current Events
A Biden Carol (Part 3)
Scene 1 – White House Residence / 2 a.m.
Biden – Holy Crap! I think this thing is for real. They know everything I’ve done and why I did it. My only hope is to win the 2024 election and win over the American people. I know. I’ll say all that MAGA stuff. The rubes eat that up. All I’ve got to do is freshen up my “Scranton Joe” act and I’ll be back on easy street.
Ghost of Biden Present – That’s what you think.
Biden – Donald Trump? What are you doing here? I thought I was going to meet the Ghost of Biden Present.
Ghost of Biden Present – I’m here because I’m going to be the Ghost of Biden Present.
Biden – Oh come on man! That’s not fair!
Ghost of Biden Present – Why would a crooked rat like you get treated fair? I got the job because I told them I’d twist the knife every chance I got. Believe me when I say no one is looking to help you, Joe. The only friends you’ve got are paid and that doesn’t exactly guarantee loyalty.
Biden – Look Donald. None of that stuff we’ve been doing to you is personal. Garland is just following the law. It’s completely by the books.
Ghost of Biden Present – Don’t waste your time. I’m here to show you what people really think of you.
Biden – Well, that’s all just a partisan exercise. Your voters are against me and mine are for me.
Ghost of Biden Present – You haven’t been paying attention to the polls or the social media sites. You’re about as popular a herpes.
Biden – Which kind?
Ghost of Biden Present – Both. Even the 25% of people who say they’ll vote for you are holding their noses to do it.
Biden – I don’t believe you. There are millions of Americans who love and trust “good old uncle Joe.”
Ghost of Biden Present – Well, we’re going to go out tonight and let you talk to the people.
Biden – Should I hold onto your sleeve and we’ll be whisked along through the air?
Ghost of Biden Present – No we’re taking the front door and walking down Pennsylvania Avenue.
(Exit)
Scene 2 – Washington D.C.
Biden – What are all these homeless encampments doing in the capitol of the greatest country on Earth?
Ghost of Biden Present – You put them there, numb nuts. These are all the people who’ve been displaced since you opened up the border and let illegal immigrants and fentanyl flood the country.
Biden – My border policy is smart, humane and very popular with the American people.
Ghost of Biden Present – Really? Let’s test out your theory.
(Trump whistles loudly on his fingers and addresses the crowd.)
Hey folks, here’s “President” Biden. He wants to get your opinions on his border policy.
Random Homeless Man – It’s really him. Let’s get him!
Biden – (As he’s being dragged away by his heels and kicked in the head and ribs by the murderous crowd)
Donald, Donald don’t leave me here. Get me out of here before they murder me. How can I learn my lesson if I’m dead.
Ghost of Biden Present – Don’t worry Joe. You can’t be killed in this little demonstration.
Biden – What do you mean? Those kicks hurt!
Ghost of Biden Present – No the beating will hurt like a bastard for sure. But you won’t die. That way it can go on for a very long time. I’ll see you later Joey, much later.
Biden – Help Trump, help! Don’t leave me here!
Folks, ouch, we’ll build back better together, ow, Bidenomics is making this the most robust economy in the world, ah, the green economy is lifting all boats, Ahhhhhhhhhh!
(Exit)
Colorado Wake Up Call
If anyone, not on the Left, needed any further proof of the lack of political freedom in this country, the decision of the Colorado Supreme Court has hopefully provided it. Bottom line; the powers that be will decide which candidates you are allowed to choose between. Maybe it would be more efficient if on January 1st the Department of Truth just tells us in advance who will win the November election and saved us all that time and expense. Maybe it’s Nikki Haley’s turn. After all she’s slightly smarter than Kamala Harris, better looking and she will have the same policies as Joe and Kamala. And she has the added bonus that she can drag along another ten percent of the electorate who call themselves compassionate conservatives, whatever that means.
I’m reconciled with the Left keeping Donald Trump off the ballot. People should know what’s what. Enough making believe. Look around you and understand how things get done. If Trump wouldn’t play ball with the State Department and CIA over Ukraine then they stage a race war and then a pandemic. And if he’s still too popular to beat in an election then just bring out the “vote harvesting” and manufacture a presidency. If the Biden agenda bankrupts the nation and alienates 70% of the electorate, why simply manufacture an insurrection charge against Trump and presto-change-o, we get candidate Nikki Haley.
In effect that is what they mean by “our democracy.” What they really mean is “their oligarchy.”
Well, there you go. That’s what it is. And unless someone really wants to go toe to toe with their mafia gang you live under that oligarchy. What you don’t have to do is pretend it’s some sacred arrangement. You have to pay the mafia shakedown guy. You don’t have to pretend you like it. And when the day comes that some other mafia gang comes along and tries to knock them off their pedestal it’s definitely not your job to take up arms for them. Let them send their own sons off to die. That’s the nature of a mob. They’re killers and they better be the best at it or someone stronger or nastier will knock them over.
For us it’s a matter of surviving in an oligarchic tyranny. There are all kinds of strategies and tactics. Mostly find a spot outside of the epicenters of the regime and try to hold onto whatever prosperity they haven’t managed to extract from their slaves. Find a spot where they haven’t managed to hem in their cattle in the tightest pen.
And maybe someday when the disastrous global policies of this regime lead to catastrophe, which becomes more likely every day, then there will be a strong enough reaction to pull down this regime and install more moderate maniacs who will confine themselves to simply stealing money and not killing off the majority of their citizens through nonsensical policies like green energy and de-industrialization.
But until then watch what happens. If Trump stays on the ballots and wins the election then I have wildly overestimated the strength and arrogance of the regime. If he ends up in jail then I’ve got it about right.
A Biden Carol (Part 2)
Scene 1 – White House Residence / 1 a.m.
Biden – I really must be cracking up. What a horrible nightmare that was. And I’m not even in bed. C’mon Joe. Snap out of it. It must have been the Adderall wearing off. Get a grip. What’s that light I see glowing before my eyes?
Ghost of Biden Past – I am the Ghost of Biden Past.
Biden – Is that really a thing?
Ghost of Biden Past – No, I’m just the guy who got stuck with this gig. But work with me here. We’re trying to line this thing up with Dickens.
Biden – Sure, sure. Are you going to show me all the things in my past that I should feel gratitude about and help me to be a better man?
Ghost of Biden Past – No, that ship has sailed, hit an iceberg and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. I’m here to remind you of all the horrible stuff you’ve done so that it’s crystal clear why the perpetual gruesome agony you are slated for will be completely justified.
Biden – Wow! No partial credit for that time I saved that amphibious lander when I shot down the Japanese Zero back in dubya, dubya two?
Ghost of Biden Past – Joe, you were born in 1942.
Biden – Oh, right. I must be thinking of my service in Viet Nam.
Ghost of Biden Past – No you dodged the draft for Viet Nam.
Biden – So you’re not gonna work with me here.
Ghost of Biden Past – Work with you? I’m rooting for you to get the perpetual wood chipper option. In fact, I’ve got fifty bucks on it in the office pool.
Biden – Surely all that good work I did while in the Senate must buy me some good will up there.
Ghost of Biden Past – Up there? Even Lucifer doesn’t want to work on your case. He was thinking of farming you out to the Great Old Ones. But Cthulhu said, nothing doing. So, we’re stuck with you.
Biden – Surely someone from my past will speak in my defense.
Ghost of Biden Past – Yes, there was one character witness who was able to remove a very small charge from your list of sins. We found Corn Pop and he said you never threatened him with a chain. Apparently, you just ran off and never came back to the lifeguard gig you had.
Biden – That’s a lie. He was a very bad dude and I stood up to him.
Ghost of Biden Past – Well, we checked out that story. Corn Pop back then was an asthmatic camp counselor at the local YMCA with coke bottle glasses and a limp. Now he’s a retired postal worker.
Biden – Yeah well, that’s not how I remember it. So, what’s next?
Ghost of Biden Past – We’re going to walk you through the highlights of your various activities. We’ve got Juanita Broaddrick and that summer with you “showering” with your underaged daughter. We’ll go through the work you did getting Hunter to where he is now. Then we’ll go over your work as the “Big Guy” and all of the stuff you did “for the country” while working for Obama. For fun we’ll go over the blooper reel with your hair plugs and aviator shades. It’ll be a busy time.
Biden – So this doesn’t look so good. Should I get a lawyer or a character witness? How about my old friend Barack. Everybody loves him.
Ghost of Biden Past – Yeahhhh, about that. Old Bathhouse Barry has his own ‘splainin’ to do. I don’t think that would be wise.
Biden – Alright let’s start the tour. Will there be lunch?
Ghost of Biden Past – Don’t worry there will be some roasted meat sooner than you think.
(Exit)
OCF Update – 19DEC2023 – Where the Hell is photog!
Apologies to all my readers. The power, phones, internet and magic have been out in Dunwich for the last day and a half. I’m just using an off-site computer to send this message. I’ve angered Cthulhu with all my mockery and he has summoned the winds and boy oh boy did they clobber me. A hundred and fifty foot White Pine landed across the upper driveway and took out part of the fence. Try cutting through that with an 18″ triangle hand saw. Well, I have some stuff to post (A Biden Carol – Part 2) but I hope the power and internet are back on soon at home so I can post it.
My apologies for the site lull. I’ll have to join Elon Musk’s Starlink or something.
Damn you Cthulhu!!!
A Biden Carol (Part 1)
Scene 1 – The Oval Office
GLAAD – Have I the honor of addressing Mr. Biden or Mr. Epstein?
Biden – Mr. Epstein has been dead these seven years. In fact, he hanged himself in prison exactly seven years ago this very night.
GLAAD – That’s not how I heard it happened. Anyway, I’m sure his generosity is well represented by his surviving partner.
Biden – What do you want; you dog faced pony soldiers?!
GLAAD – At this festive time of the year it is more than usually desirable that we make some slight provision for the drag queens and other weirdos that have fallen on hard times. Thousands are in need of necessities like eye-liner and mascara. Hundreds of thousands are in want of holiday cheer like amyl nitrate and ketamine.
Biden – Are there no libraries, are there no grammar schools?
GLAAD – Plenty of libraries and schools, but those gigs have become difficult to book because of Moms for Liberty.
Biden – Look I haven’t got time to waste on you losers. Romney, you cretin! Get out of your hole Mitt and throw these losers out. I have business to attend to and if I see these deadbeats in here again, I’ll know that I no longer need your services and you’ll be shipped back to Utah. Now I’m headed home so don’t close up until you’ve foreclosed on the homes of all the widows on that list, I gave you.
Mitt Romney – Yes, Mr. Biden. Come this way gentlemen. Mr. Biden is very busy.
(Exit)
Scene 2 – White House Residence
Biden – All right, have you loaded up my Beta Max with all those vintage 1980s porn classics? Dr. Jill is out of town this week and I want to do some research.
Secret Service Agent – Yes, Mr. President. Your whole disgusting list for the weekend has been filled and we’ve cordoned off your residence to prevent “problems.”
Biden – Good, all of you can get lost. I’ll use my life alert if I need you. Now scram.
(Exit)
Biden – Now that’s more like it! Let me get a big bowl of ice cream and let the party begin!
Suddenly a fissure opens up in the floor and flames shoot up and a bloody mess slowly stumbles into the room. He’s festooned with what looks like smoking coils of some kind of hose. He is shrieking and moaning pathetically and approaches Biden.
Biden – Holy smoke, who the hell are you?
Jeffrey Epstein – Ask me who I was.
Biden – Okay, okay, you awful mess. Who were you.
Jeffrey Epstein – In life I was your partner, Jeffrey Epstein.
Biden – Epsy, what the hell happened to you?
Jeffrey Epstein – Two guesses.
Biden – Why are you wrapped up in that burning hose?
Jeffrey Epstein – Those are my prolapsed intestines. They’re filled with boiling oil. When it starts to cool, they drain it off and refill it again.
Biden – Wow! That’s not good.
Jeffrey Epstein – Yeah, but wait’ll you hear what they have cooked up for you.
Biden – Me? But I haven’t done anything. I’m the President of the United States. I help people all day long. I’m not going there!
Jeffrey Epstein – Yeah, yeah, Joey. It’s me you’re talking to. They know about everything down there. The showers with your daughter, the trips to the island. Don’t kid yourself. You’re gonna get the deluxe treatment.
Biden – But Epsy, don’t you have any good news? Are you here to tell me about a way out? You know like the three ghosts?
Jeffrey Epstein – The only ghost here is the ghost of a chance that you ain’t got. The boss sent me to rub it in a little. And I came because I will miss the hot sulfuric acid shower hour. You’ve gotta take what you can get.
Biden – But what will I do?
Jeffrey Epstein – My advice is to try to make whatever amends you can and lighten the sentence however you can. Confession would help quite a bit.
Biden – Confess? But there’s an election coming up.
Jeffrey Epstein – Oh forget it. Just do what you’re doing. At least it’ll take some of the heat off of me. Goodbye Joey you dope. See you in the showers.
Exit into the flaming crevasse followed by the fissure closing up.
Full Blown Trump Derangement Syndrome
The amount of projection and the lack of self-awareness is stunning. But the comedic value is very high. The whole cast of characters is here. The only ones missing are Obama and Biden. They even dug Hillary up somehow. She’s starting to look like the Crypt Keeper muppet.
BREAKING: Media warns if Trump wins next election, the world will come to an end. He will assassinate generals, shoot visitors at the White House, kill the First Lady, Suspend the Constitution, kill democracy, destroy the justice department. WATCH pic.twitter.com/L8wQGO2bUH
— Simon Ateba (@simonateba) December 13, 2023
Buggery in High Places
I was busy today with a family gathering. Good food, good company and good news all around. A long day and no time for writing for the site until now.
So I look around at the news sites and see this:
The story is just as bad as the headline. This guy works for a Democrat Senator from Maryland and apparently he’s another one of Joe Biden’s LGBTQ diversity hires.
Well, I guess the sacred Capitol building that the J6 protestors “defiled” has been literally defiled by Democrat staffer Aidan Maese-Czeropski and whoever he filmed buggering him.
And it’s fitting. Apparently that is the highest and best use that the Left has found for the federal government. It’s their private social club and they indulge whatever proclivities they enjoy whenever they want to. And now they even film it just so their friends can laugh at the joke too. But I guess this guy has some enemies and they passed it along to a reporter.
So I guess I could ask, will the Capitol Police arrest Mr. Maese-Czeropski and charge him with something? Or is two men buggering each other in the Capitol already too close to the main purpose of that building?
After all, they’ve been buggering the country for generations now without any repercussions. Why should a little more of it matter. And at least in this case the buggering was consensual. In the case of the country it’s not.
There’s something truly iconic about this scandal. This is the revelation of what is truly the state of our federal government. Washington is a cesspool filled with deviants who no longer even pretend to be anything else. Utilizing the government to pay for and justify their behavior is no longer a secret. It’s a bold display. They make up rules that we have to abide by but they can pretty much do as they please.
Well, as long as the Democrats keep themselves in office I don’t think this guy has to worry about jail time or even a fine. More likely he’ll sue the publication that published his sex tape and got him fired. After all gay sex tapes are the only reason that privacy even exists as a concept in the United States. Everyone else is at the mercy of the tech companies but if you’re buggering some guy in a US government building it’s a protected act. Imagine that.
Supposedly they fired this guy, or forced him to resign. But does anyone believe that he will be unable to find his next spot in the bureaucracy? I’m guessing his next gig will be with EEOC or some other federal agency tasked with keeping people like him employed. Or maybe he’ll end up in the State Department where he can raise the rainbow flag over some embassy or other. That way next time he can get buggered on the Eiffel Tower or in the Coliseum or by Big Ben. But I don’t recommend he try it near the pyramids. The locals don’t appreciate it. It might end up poorly.
What Are the Odds?
According to quantum mechanics (or is Stan Lee?) every time a subatomic particle has a choice of moving in one direction or another it spawns two separate realities. And taking all such choices together, it produces an infinity of separate realities (or universes) associated with these different futures that exist side by side. Now the Marvel Cinematic Universe has documented this highly scientific quantum behavior with a panoply of Spidermen in the multiverse. And for all I know they have added a few Spider-transmen to round things out. And because of the Kathleen Kennedy imperative (“PUT A CHICK IN IT AND MAKE HER LAME AND GAY”} there will need to be some Spiderwomen, spiderlesbians and hopefully BIPoC spidertrans-women but most especially Latinx spidertrans-lesbians. Maybe not in that order. After all one cannot constrain the artistic endeavor.
But thinking about all this quantum physics was incredibly stimulating. I started to imagine the multiverse of 2024 election outcomes and the futures it will spawn. For instance, in one universe Joe Biden is struck by lightning and it resets his brain so that he can speak English and walk down stairs without tumbling. But it also forces him to only speak the truth and so he’s assassinated by the FBI for disseminating the document that lists the FBI agents and assets and the scripts and roles they played in the January 6th frame-up.
In another universe Donald Trump declares himself a dictator for one day and has all the data files that the intelligence agencies have collected on Americans erased, reveals who killed Kennedy and forces MSNBC to broadcast Obama’s gay sex tapes during Black History Month.
In yet another universe the most unlikely set of outcomes all occur simultaneously and the American voters come to their senses in numbers so overwhelming that they elect huge majorities of Republicans to the House and Senate. And Trump wins 45 states and re-enters the White House with an ironclad mandate. And with that combination they undo the last fifty years of unconstitutional skullduggery and make the United States a free country for the first time in generations. They fire seventy percent of the federal employees. They cancel the Patriot Act. They eject tens of millions of illegal aliens. They balance the budget. And they impeach all the judges that were appointed by Clinton, Obama and Biden and replace them with the guys who were imprisoned during the January 6th witch hunt. And then they appoint Rudy Giuliani special prosecutor to clean up all the dirt that’s gone on since Obama came into office and have the trials located in Oklahoma. Crazy, right?
Of course, I expect the most likely outcome in this multiverse is the one we expect. That’s the one where crooked judges and prosecutors hand-pick leftist jurors and convict Donald Trump of bogus crimes in their kangaroo courts and then use millions of fraudulent ballots to win the 2024 presidential election and use that outcome to finish off what’s left of this once great nation. Of course.
But even in this most likely of all universes, there is still room for all of this to be the trigger for a cosmic backlash. You could imagine that all of this negative karma building on itself could warp the very fabric of space-time and spawn a reaction. I could imagine that the day after the “winners” of the fake elections are declared, the disgusted Republican voters stage a complete work stoppage across the whole country. Truckers stop delivering food to the cities and oil and gas isn’t delivered. And all the cops go out on strike. In fact, we all go out on strike. And after a couple of weeks when the LGBTQ national guard units admit they can’t drive trucks, Washington might fold and sues for mercy.
And that’s my favorite super hero ending. Sorry Deadpool.
Isn’t physics wonderful?
Guest Contributor – TomD – 15DEC2023 – Hyperinflation Follies
Not just Weimar Republic though they are the most famous if not the most egregious example.
Zimbabwe for example. Attached is a photo of the $100 trillion dollar Zimbabwean bill with the dubious distinction of being the largest denomination bill in human history.
I bought a number of these bills for about dollar and some each in around 2009. I gave them away as gag gifts. Amazingly, a couple of years ago I happened to find that the $100 trillion dollar notes had become rare and expensive. I checked a couple of minutes ago and found them selling in the $100 to $500 dollar (US) range with some higher. I gave about 30 of these things away. The joke is on me.
Adding to the irony, if I sold the notes on the market now, the US Gov would take 25% of my profit away in the form of capital gains tax on collectables. I’m getting a headache trying to think of all the ironies wrapped up in that.
Some outfit in Germany (no irony there) printed these notes for the Zimbabwean government, so they are of substantial quality.