Category: Trump

Woo-Hoo!!!  I Is Bona Fide – American Greatness Published My Article

photog Current Events, On-Line Article Reviews, Reviews, Trump , , , , , ,

The good folks at American Greatness have gone temporarily insane and published an article by an anonymous troll calling himself “photog.”  Said troll claims to run a website called Orion’s Cold Fire and for his theme chose “Defining the Space Between Never-Trump and the Alt-Right.”  The article is overheated and borderline psychotic but I’ll leave it to you to judge the merits of the argument, such as it is.

Excuse me. I have the inexplicable desire to shoot off some fireworks in the yard.  Life is good.

 

Since my readers don’t always stop by every day I figured I’d paste this poll on each post for a while to see what folks call themselves.  This is the post the poll came from  Who Are We?

… And that got me thinking. Who are the people who read my blog?  I thought it might be fun to see what the cross-section looked like.  If you feel like saying what you believe in, feel free to leave a comment and/or pick a label from the poll below.  I think it might be interesting.

 

[Total_Soft_Poll id=”6″]

American Greatness looks back at the Catholic Critics of Candidate Trump

photog Current Events, On-Line Article Reviews, Reviews, Trump , ,

I liked this article by Austin Ruse, “The Thoughtfuls vs. the Roughneck-in-Chief,” because it gives us a chance to review how the feared or predicted results by Catholics of a Trump victory compare to the actual occurrence.  Basically, Trump has exceeded the results for all republican presidents in my life time. I especially enjoyed the comparison of Trump’s Supreme Court assignment to W’s attempt to get Harriet Miers on the Court.  Very good review of the elitist attitude toward Trump.

 

Since my readers don’t always stop by every day I figured I’d paste this poll on each post for a while to see what folks call themselves.  This is the post the poll came from  Who Are We?

… And that got me thinking. Who are the people who read my blog?  I thought it might be fun to see what the cross-section looked like.  If you feel like saying what you believe in, feel free to leave a comment and/or pick a label from the poll below.  I think it might be interesting.

 

[Total_Soft_Poll id=”6″]

Make Yourself at Home – What’s Coming Up This Week and Stuff About the Site

photog Current Events, Humor, Photography, Reviews, SF&F Movie Reviews, Trump , , , ,

I’ve been neglecting the photography side of things and the reviews this week and I’ll be getting back to that soon.  I took some photos in November that I want to post and I have a sci-fi movie review I want to do.  I might do a Trump vs … post on his trip to Asia.  I haven’t thought it all out but there must be comedy gold somewhere in a trip that includes Trump calling the president of a country short and fat.

I’m watching the slow returns on the Who Are We poll.  I wasn’t surprised to see a libertarian and an Ayn Randian among us but it was very interesting to see a Bernie Bro among my readers.  Look at that.  I’m a unifier and I didn’t even know it!  Well anyway welcome to you all, even you hard core Alinskyites and Stalinists.  If ping-pong could bring Mao and Nixon together then maybe photography and science fiction can heal the world’s divisions.  Or at least get more comments on my website.

By putting up polls and installing a forum section I’d like to encourage my readers to engage with each other and me.  I basically started this thing for two reasons:

  1. To have a place to say what I wanted about politics and social stuff without having SJWs tell me I was not allowed to talk.
  2. To find other people who wanted to talk about this stuff in a place where we were free to speak our minds. If I was discussing cameras and the conversation veered into laws on photographing public building I was sick and tired of reading a thousand-word rant about how the government was repressing Arabs and then when I objected having my comment deleted due to left-wing censorship.  Or if a Muslim guy shoots up a gay bar have to endure fifty diatribes against gun ownership but not be allowed to disagree.  I’ll bet there are plenty of photographers, sf&f fans and all kinds other folks who have had similar experiences.

So, be my guest.  Participate in the poll, leave comments and feedback on the posts and leave your own content on the forums, whether it be a political topic that you have an opinion on or some photo that you want to share or some movie or book idea that you want to share.

Since my readers don’t always stop by every day I figured I’d paste this poll on each post for a while to see what folks call themselves.  This is the post the poll came from  Who Are We?

… And that got me thinking. Who are the people who read my blog?  I thought it might be fun to see what the cross-section looked like.  If you feel like saying what you believe in, feel free to leave a comment and/or pick a label from the poll below.  I think it might be interesting.

 

[Total_Soft_Poll id=”6″]

 

 

 

Trumpocalypse Reloaded

photog Current Events, Trump , , , , ,

Has it already been a year since that marvelous day? It certainly went fast. And how has the world changed? Well, Hillary Clinton isn’t in jail. Liberal judges are still victimizing normal Americans for trying to be normal Americans. There’s no big beautiful wall on the southern border. And the New York Times hasn’t gone out of business. So, we’re not in heaven for sure.

But the world has definitely changed and there’s no going back. A very significant part of the right knows that the GOP establishment is a sham. These people know now that Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan aren’t interested in preserving conservative values in America. They are only interested in preserving their hold on power in Washington. It has become crystal clear that the GOP establishment and the Never-Trumpers in the media are much more interested in maintaining their monopoly on right wing voters than actually doing anything to make the country a better place for those voters. With respect to immigration, trade, jobs and leftist cultural attacks they are indistinguishable from Chuck Schumer and the New York Times. And these awakened voters won’t ever forget what they’ve learned. They say knowledge is power and it is. But there’s more to it than that. Just knowing why things happen the way they do banishes the confusion that leads to despair. You’re not always blind-sided by events. It allows you to plan ahead and avoid pain and protect yourself and those you care about. It allows you to know what is possible and avoid trying to do what can’t be done. It lets you be more at peace and it makes you more effective.

Donald Trump has given us the example of someone who doesn’t let the Left dictate the terms of engagement. He rejects their framing of events and uses their own methods against them. He has become the World’s Greatest Troll. Watching how day after day, week after week, every one of their pronouncements of the end of the Trump presidency turns into a nothing burger has shown me that once people stop believing fake news the Fake News Media loses almost all its power and just becomes a laughing stock.

Of course, candidate Trump was wrong about one thing he said. I am definitely not tired of winning. In fact, I’m getting impatient again. I’d really like to hear of another Supreme Court appointment and that tax bill passed and an executive order lowering the legal immigration quota to 200 people a year. But I’m also happy to let the President get things done in his own way. He has proven to me that he is perfectly capable of advancing his agenda quickly. And finally, I am worried about Mueller. I really don’t see why he doesn’t fire that man. He’s an enemy and he will do great harm if he’s not stopped. And while the President is at it he needs to give Sessions an ultimatum, start cleaning house in the Justice Department or clear out and let someone else do it.

So, as we begin year 2 A.T. (After Trumpocalypse) I am happy and energized knowing that the changes are as much in the people as they are in the government. We know who is helping and who is hindering us. And we know which voices to ignore (or mock) and which to heed. And finally, it was so much fun to watch all those YouTube videos from a year ago as all those liberal pundits lost their minds and hopes when the Trumpocalypse swept away all their dreams and left Hillary Clinton washed up like a beached whale rotting on the shores of Loserville.

 

Since my readers don’t always stop by every day I figured I’d paste this poll on each post for a while to see what folks call themselves.  This is the post the poll came from  Who Are We?

… And that got me thinking. Who are the people who read my blog?  I thought it might be fun to see what the cross-section looked like.  If you feel like saying what you believe in, feel free to leave a comment and/or pick a label from the poll below.  I think it might be interesting.

 

[Total_Soft_Poll id=”6″]

 

 

 

 

 

The Pattern Seems Established

photog Current Events, Trump , , , ,

Warning:  This is a rant.  But I’ve had it with these fools in the FBI.

There seems to be a concerted campaign to attack non-leftist groups and individuals.  Between the Scalise attack, Las Vegas and this latest leftist maniac in Texas it now seems to me past the point of coincidence or even mass hysteria.  It seems that coordination is occurring.  This doesn’t have to correspond to a team working together.  It might come down to someone online proselytizing the leftist ecosystem toward mass violence and his message resonating with a certain profile.  Each of these individuals was radicalized against traditional or anti-leftist targets.  I don’t know anything about the guy who attacked Rand Paul so I won’t speculate whether or not he is just a nutty neighbor or not.  But these other cases are different.  These are kamikaze missions, intent on maximum casualties, maximum shock value.  This is leftist jihad.

If the FBI was any use they would use the much-vaunted data collecting and intelligence capability to identify the links that join these three men.  But instead they scratch their heads and declare it a mystery.  Look at the state of the Las Vegas investigation.  All they’ve been able to confirm is that he was a white man.  Meanwhile if you had unpaid traffic tickets from four decades ago they could probably track your every step over the last forty years.  If you missed a nickel on an Amazon tax bill they would roust you out of your bed to perp walk you down to the IRS office.  If you used the term lip balm in a phone call to your doctor you’d probably be added to a terror watch list.  But after three maniacs massacred innocent Americans by the scores they can’t find anything to tell us except “we’re investigating.”

And that brings us to Jeff Sessions.  What the hell is he actually doing as Attorney General, as head of the Justice Department?  Is this the best he can do?  Is he trying to get things done but is being thwarted?  If so, why doesn’t he fire these fools?  Is recusing yourself from the Russian investigation equal to sitting on your hands and not doing a damn thing?  I think Trump should fire this guy and get someone useful in the spot.  And it’s not just these spectacular cases.  The Antifa thugs should be rounded up and treated to a RICO action.  If they aren’t organized crime and domestic terrorism I don’t know what is.

So, the question is what’s next from these creeps?  Will they be blowing up St. Patrick’s Cathedral in NYC just to make a point?  What does it take to clue in the authorities that radical leftist terrorism is ramping up and is just as deadly as Islamic jihad?  I mean, we expected the Obama justice department to ignore leftists and BLM when they intimidated Americans.  Those were Obama’s shock troops in the cowing of a free peace-loving people.  But we thought Trump would re-establish the rule of law and order.  It appears that is not the case, at least not yet.  But if they don’t hurry up and fix things, it’s only a matter of time before action leads to reaction and things may start to spin out of control.  And that won’t be good for anyone.

Trump vs The Feminist Blind Spot

photog Current Events, Humor, Trump , , , , , , , ,

 

Scene 1: MSNBC studio set for the Rachel Maddow Show, the evening after the Academy Awards (The Harvies), Maddow and Ellen DeGeneres are seated at a table in the lounge area.

Ellen DeGeneres (ED) – Rachel I came as soon as I got your text.  I cancelled an interview with President Obama.

Rachel Maddow (RM) – Oh, you shouldn’t have done that.

ED – Nah, I was glad to skip it.  I’m so tired of being forced to make believe I want him to do that dance thing he does.  Even I know straight women don’t find it sexy.  Plus he’s got a new book coming out about community activism and my sponsors have warned me if my ratings get any lower I’m gonna have to find a side job as a rodeo clown.

RM – Breaking another barrier!

ED – Or several ribs.  So, what’s up?

RM – Well, after last night’s awards fiasco I tried figuring out how all this could have gone so wrong.  I mean we have Donald Trump on tape joking about sexual assault and not only isn’t he tarred, feathered and sent to prison but he waltzes into the White House.  Meanwhile all these great progressive Hollywood men like Harvey and Kevin turn out to be rapists and psychopaths.  I mean, I don’t get it.

ED – You’re right.  It doesn’t make any sense.  I’m a pretty close friend of Harvey’s and he never once came onto me or made a pass.

RM – Yeah, me neither.  Something doesn’t make sense.

ED – Well, what do you think can be done?  Maybe a march.  Different hats?

RM – No.  No more hats.  My look is weird enough without hat hair.

ED – Then what?

RM – I have an idea.  It’s pretty crazy but a good journalist needs to think outside of the box sometimes.

 

Scene 2: Next day, White House West Wing, President Trump at the Oval Office desk and Melania Trump entering the room.

Melania Trump (MT) – Schmoopy, guess who called for you.

President Trump (PT) – Schmoopy, I’m kinda busy right now for guessing games.  That Nork Rocketman just called me a pumpkin head so I’m trying to have Mad Dog reposition some satellite lasers to melt down his favorite Rolls Royce into a slag heap.

MT – Hey, you can play around with your silly toys later, I just had to spend five minutes talking to Rachel Maddow that I can never get back.

PT – I’m very sorry.  That is something that should never happen to a woman.  I’ll have the satellites melt her down instead.

MT – No Schmoopy, the melting would be bad for the publicity.  You must keep the dignity.

PT – Fine.  What did that loser want?

MT – She wants the interview.

PT – Her, interview me?

MT – Yes, Schmoopy, she said any conditions you have will be agreed to.

PT – It must be a trick.

MT – No not the trick.  She even cried a little.  It was very sad.

PT – Alright Schmoopy, I’ll make some time for her this afternoon.

MT – Thank you Schmoopy, this makes you greater than the Reagan again.

PT – Exactly.

 

Scene 3: Afternoon the same day, Oval Office, President Trump at his desk, Rachel Maddow seated facing.

RM – Thank you Mr. President, for your time.

PT – Right.  What do you want?

RM – As you know I am one of your harshest critics.  I find the fact of your presidency as one of the surest signs that America is a terrible and unjust place.  I find everything about you reprehensible.

PT – Check.  What do you want?

RM – I want you to tell me how you do it.

PT – Do what?

RM – Act like a sexist pig and get away with it when better men, progressive men are hounded out of public life for much, much less.

PT – You’re confused.  You’re combining different things into one category and wondering why the outcomes are different.

RM – Can you be more specific?

PT – Yes.  You’re a deluded imbecile who is confused about every aspect of human behavior.

RM – Can you do it without insulting me?

PT – It won’t be as much fun, but I’ll try.

RM – Thanks.

PT – I’ll give you some examples of things that you’re confusing together.  If some old guy in a university who has spent his whole life advancing science, let’s say some Nobel Laureate in Biology, someone who has cracked the genetic code and basically invented modern biology, a man who has often made a point of advancing women in science and even hired them in his lab, if he makes a joke about young women being a distraction in his work place, what happens?  You hound him out of his job, force every University to retract his awards, force an apology and then unperson him like some victim in Stalinist Russia.  What is his crime?

RM – Sexual harassment and misogyny.

PT – Wrong on both.  He has committed no crime.  Telling you the truth about how he reacts to having the Spice Girls invade his professional space is not sexual harassment.  It’s just being a man of his generation.  And as for misogyny, that’s not a crime.  It’s just a description of your perception of his relationship to women based on one statement.  And I’m guessing that his wife of forty years and his female relatives would probably dispute it too.

RM – But what does this have to do with my question?

PT – Keep listening toots and maybe you’ll get it.  Next example, if a microphone records me talking off the record to a Bush family operative about what women will allow me to do when they’re interested in dating a very rich man what is that.

RM – Proof of sexual assault.

PT – Wrong again.  Exulting in the social advantages of being a very, very rich man is not a crime.  If a woman is sexually attracted to rich men or even pretends to be in order to become associated with a wealthy man that is just one of the dynamics that exist between people in a free society.

RM – But what if she doesn’t want to be mauled by you?

PT – Do you remember anywhere in that tape where I said I force myself on any woman that wasn’t interested in that kind of behavior.

RM – How do we know you don’t?

PT – Because I’m smart enough to know I don’t have to and that it isn’t a good way to stay rich.  I’ve been married three times.  Basically, every time you try to separate yourself from a woman it’s going to be very expensive.

RM – Well, that’s cold-blooded but probably accurate.

PT – Sexual harassment is very expensive to hush up.  Ask your buddy Harvey Weinstein.  And speaking of whom, let’s conclude the list of examples with him.  And what is it when Harvey Weinstein invites an actress to his hotel room for a job interview, disrobes in front of her, and chases her around the room trying to corner her for some form of sexual contact.

RM – Attempted rape.

PT – Maybe.  But if she is an employee or a prospective employee it would certainly be the textbook legal definition of quid pro quo sexual harassment.

RM – Well, we finally agree on something.

PT – And that’s the problem.  We agree that the third behavior is sexual harassment.  You however think the other two examples are the same thing.

RM – But they are.

PT – And that’s why you can’t figure out why I don’t end up like the other two examples.  In the first example you have a man who works for a university filled with people like you.  They control the levers of power and unless you have a very good lawyer and lots of money they will destroy you by fiat.  In the case of Weinstein, society is in agreement that coercing an employee into sexual contact against her will is sexual harassment.  In my case you have two guys discussing how easy it is to score when you’re rich.  Now, granted, it’s kind of boorish, but it’s no different from a woman describing how she got out of a speeding ticket by making eyes at a traffic cop.  In neither case would you want your words to be recorded but we all use what we have to get ahead in this world.  Whether it’s a pretty face or a nine-figure bank account it has its advantages.  Is this starting to sink in?

RM – There is some sense to it.  But it is horribly unfair.

PT – You mean like life?

RM – Yes.

PT – Welcome to the human race, kid.  It’s full of surprises but unfairness is really not a surprise.  It’s base case.  So, now you see why you don’t understand what’s going on.  You think if something’s unfair somebody, and probably a straight white man is responsible and should be held accountable for it.  You’re blaming him for something that only God can fix.  And since you don’t believe in God you need someone else to blame.

RM – Hmmm.  You’ve given me some things to think about.  But one thing I don’t understand.

PT – What?

RM – How come you sound so normal and intelligent.  You’re very different in your public persona.

PT – We’re not in public.

RM – Oh.

PT – Alright Maddow, are we done?

RM – I guess so.

PT – Then get out.  I have an interview coming up with Hannity and I have to figure out how to incorporate the words “huge” and “greatest” into a discussion about orange juice production.  Oh, and by the way, if you’re hoping to get the ratings up on that show of yours it wouldn’t kill you to show a little cleavage.

RM – Pig!

PT – That’s the Maddow we love!  Now get out.

New York Strong?

photog Current Events, Trump , , , , , , , , ,

Back a few years ago two brothers had the demented idea that setting off a couple of shrapnel bombs at the Boston Marathon finish line was a good idea.  Their family were Muslim refugees from the Caucasus region.  This was their idea of a fitting thanks for being taken in.  While the police hunted these two maniacs down in the Eastern Massachusetts environs, the Media and the Democrats in Massachusetts state and local government and then President Obama immediately started using the expression Boston Strong.  It was meant to imply that Boston not only was too strong to let death and maiming disturb them but also that only weaklings would blame Muslims for wanting to blow them up.  It was a bizarre proposition.  I was trying to understand if it was beneath their dignity to try to prevent a recurrence of the bombing.  Would that be a sign of weakness?

Now we have New York City doing their best impression of Boston Strong.  New York Strong.  Just go about your business.  Attend the Halloween parade.  If you think terror attacks are unacceptable then the terrorists win.  Just shake it off.  No plan from the Mayor or Governor for keeping New Yorkers safe from a recurrence.  No mention that the killer was a known threat.  Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.  Business as usual.  Just the price to pay for enjoying ethnic foods and all that great diversity.  No one’s to blame (except maybe Trump for riling up these good people).  The Muslim Mayor of London has taken it a step further and declared that terror attacks are just business as usual in a with-it cosmopolitan place like London.  Kind of like expensive parking.

And of course the candlelight vigils and the celebrity condolences.  And big stars too!  Taylor Swift, Jared Leto, Patricia Arquette, Josh Groban, David Harbour, Bette Midler, Josh Gad, Zoe Saldana, Sam Smith, Will Arnett.  Wow, star power.

And most impressive, a message from Boy George: “God bless you New York. You are a strong, vibrant, multicultural city and nothing will ever bring you down! My heart is with you!”  Well that’s a relief.  If Boy George’s heart is with us, there can’t be anything really too wrong with the current situation.  Maybe this is really a good thing in disguise.  We’re not only strong but vibrant and multicultural.  Of course, the multicultural thing does make me think about the Uzbeki contingent.  Maybe we should look at that part again.  No, no that’s badthink.

I remember about sixteen years ago New York wasn’t feeling too strong to want a little payback.  But that was back before Obama and Bloomberg re-educated the City on who was really responsible for that attack.  It was all those ignorant yahoos who were clinging to their guns and God.  They annoyed those peaceful adherents to the religion of peace.  Back then even dyed in the wool pacifists like Maureen Dowd were happy to see George Bush would protect America from attack and in fact would retaliate against Al Qaeda.

Full disclosure, I was born and spent the first thirty years of my life in New York City.  I still have family there.  When the 9/11 attacks ocurred I was outraged to a degree that is hard to explain.  And I was proud of the City and the Country for the way they responded to the crisis.  Giuliani and Bush responded extremely admirably and with great competency.

I don’t think there is anything left in New York City that could react to a real attack now.  Looking at the tepid response to this latest attack I’m guessing if the Freedom Tower was brought down by a terrorist attack that New York Strong would mean putting a tarp up over the rubble and a rezoning action to prevent any other tall building from being erected to tempt the purveyors of peace.  And of course, Boy George would send a strong, vibrant, multicultural tweet.

Trump vs White House Apprentice – Part 2

photog Current Events, Humor, Trump , , , , , ,

Scene 1: White House, West Wing, Monday 8 a.m.

President Trump (PT) – Schmoopy, I need your advice.

Melania Trump (MT) – Of course Schmoopy.  I am always here to advise and consent.

PT – I think that’s the Senate.

MT – Well, with all the Weinstein stuff happening I think you should make sure you have consent.

PT – Point taken.  I’m trying to decide between different events for my White House Apprentice contest.

MT – That sounds easy.  You already did the Apprentice many times.

PT – Yes, but this is for the Presidency.  It’s a much bigger deal and I have to make sure I eliminate the nuts.  We don’t want a maniac in charge of the nuclear football.

MT – This is the truth.  I remember you got yelled at by the Secret Service guy when you left this football on the golf course that time.  He seemed very upset.  I think he cried a little.

PT – Probably just sweat.  He was sweating pretty bad that day running around the golf course looking for it.  He had to pull his gun on that landscaper who was trying to open it with his Leatherman tool.  Ahh, good times.

MT – Well, Schmoopy, why don’t you try getting the information from their wives.  Wives always know if their husbands are crazy.

PT – Is that true?

MT – (rolling her eyes, derisively) Oh, believe me it’s true.

PT – But how can we get them to tell the truth about that?

MT – You should be asking who could stop them from telling the truth.  Have you ever known a woman to keep a secret about her husband on TV?

PT – I think you’ve got something there.  There used to be a show on TV in the Seventies called the Newlywed Game.  The broads on that thing were always spilling the beans on their husbands.

MT – Maybe you could use that Schmoopy.

PT – Schmoopy, you’re a genius.

MT – Remember that when I hit fifty.

PT – You’re not already?

MT – You will pay for that.

 

Scene 2: White House Broadcast Studio, The set of the Newlywed Game has been recreated right down to the cheesy theme music and Don Pardo announcer voice.

Announcer Don Pardo (ADP) – Welcome to the Newlywed Game and here’s the host of the Newlywed Game, Donalllld Trump!

PT – Thank you Don.  And who are our contestants?

ADP – All the way from Janesville Wisconsin, here’s Paul and Janna Ryan.  He loves supply side economics and sticking it to the Deplorables.  She loves raising her kids and making a loving home for them.

PT – Welcome Janna and whatsisname too.  And who else is here with us Don?

ADP – Hailing from the Sunshine State of Florida are JEB! and Columba Bush.  He likes backpacking and backpedaling on conservative positions and she loves spending time with her kids and grandkids.

PT – Welcome Columba and JEB!, I’m glad to see the Bozo makeup rash has stopped oozing, mostly.  And Don who are our last couple?

ADP – Hailing from the “Natural State, these Arkansas natives, are staunch conservative republicans.  Please welcome Phil and Mallory Clanton.  He likes fighting to restore old-fashioned gender roles and respect for women in America and she is just an old-fashioned cookie baking grannie with no stuck up about her and great respect for the alt-right.

PT – Oh for pity’s sake.  Isn’t there anything short of garlic and a wooden stake that can stop you two?

Mallory Clanton (MC) – Ahh’m nat tahred ate tall.  We is just pour country folks is awwwl.  We’s is hair tuh halp ‘Muhrca be’s great agin.

PT – Security, drag these two out and don’t be too gentle with her but watch out, I think she’s got a shiv.

Phil Clanton (PC) – Hey, any chance I can pick up a few odds and ends I left in the Lincoln bedroom?  I can get them myself if you loan me a claw hammer for the floorboards.  They’re kinda personal if you know what I’m saying.

PT – Security, definitely rough him up a bunch.  Then pull up the floor in the Lincoln bedroom and fumigate.

ADP – Well that’s all the time we have.  But we do have lovely consolation prizes for everyone (except the Clantons).  Each couple will receive a home version of the Newlywed Game and a quart of good scotch to remember how you almost got to be President of the United States.  Good night everybody.

Trump vs The White House Apprentice – Part 1

photog Current Events, Humor, Trump , , ,

 

Scene 1: White House West Wing; Monday 8 a. m.

President Trump (PT) – Mike, Mike!!  Where the hell are you Mike?

Vice President Pence (VPP) – Right here as always Mr. President.

PT – Oh, good.  Look Mike, I know you’re the VP and all that but it occurs to me that I really need to require extreme vetting on anyone who wants to be President after I’m through with the job.  And that’s either tomorrow if they tick me off and I quit or thirty years from now if I decide to hold onto the gig.

VPP – Ahhh, that not exactly true Mr. President.  You are term limited to eight years by the Constitution.

PT – Well unless I get that changed.

VPP – That’s not possible for you, only a future President could benefit from such a change.

PT – You see, and it’s just this kind of attitude that shows I’ll need to vet you extremely to make sure you’ve got the right attitude to be President.  I mean suppose you got in and then we found out you were low energy like the Bushes.  That would truly suck and so I can’t let that happen.

VPP – Yes sir.

PT – But don’t worry Mike.  You’ll be allowed to skip the early rounds and start in the semi-finals.  I’m thinking of getting some guys in at the beginning that will fill out the blooper reel.  I figure Jeb, Kasich and that crazy dame whatsername, Purina.

VPP – I think you’re talking about Carly Fiorina.  Purina is a dog food.

PT – Well yeah but you see the link.

VPP – Ahh.

PT – Exactly.

VPP – Well, Mr. President, it sounds like you’ll be very busy with preparations.  If I can be of any assistance just let me know.

PT – Sure, yes me to death.  I’m not fooled but I’ll let you go.  I do have a lot to get done.

Scene 2 Oval Office:  President trump on the phone with Jeb Bush.

PT – So let me get this straight.  You’re willing to compete but you want a guarantee that I won’t say that you’re low energy?

Jeb Bush (JB) – That’s right.  I demand to be treated with the respect I’ve earned as the Governor of Florida and the brother and son of United States Presidents.

PT – Well, I think the answer to that is dependent on your definition of respect.  The first event in the competition is hosting Barron’s birthday party.  I was thinking of a traditional Bozo the Clown costume but I’m not opposed to a Crusty the Clown costume either.  Of course, the Crusty costume is cheaper to rent.  Your choice.

JB – Why that’s outrageous.

PT – I know.  Bozo has been out of the public spotlight for decades and still they demand a 15% premium at the checkout register.  Outrageous.

JB – You must be out of your mind if you think I’ll stoop to such juvenile behavior.  No self-respecting public official would allow himself to be held up to such ridicule just for the sake of your endorsement.

PT – Kasich went with the Clown from It.

JB – I’ll go with the Bozo.  But I’ll bring my own shoes.  Fungus you know.

PT – That’s the spirit.  Now make sure you’re six hours early for the party.  That make-up is tricky.

JB – Thank you Mr. President.  I’ll be there seven hours early.

PT – (hanging up the phone) I wonder if I should have mentioned the seltzer and whip cream pies?  Ahhh, he’ll figure it out.  Gee, I wonder if I can get the monkey that flings his poo.  Kids love that stuff.  Well, I do anyway.  Boy, Jeb is gonna be the whole blooper reel at this rate.

How Do You Clone Donald Trump?

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Back in the Paleolithic era, say 1988, when George H.W. Bush was the heir apparent to Ronald Reagan, much was made of how during his apprenticeship under the Gipper that Bush had shed all of his Rockefeller Republican leanings.  He famously decried Michael Dukakis’s membership in the ACLU and his links with the Liberal Boutique Ideologies of Cambridge.  And of course, there was his full-throated exhortation to read his lips, “NO NEW TAXES!!!”  Well, we know how that turned out.  George’s New World Order, tax increases and NAFTA initiatives gave rise to Ross Perot which in turn gave rise to Bill Clinton.  And we know how well that worked out for us.

Fast forward, let’s say to 2024.  We are entering the victory lap of the God-Emperor’s reign here on earth.  All’s right with the world.  The new republicans have a supermajority in the Senate and House, Unemployment stands at negative 1%.  Transgenderism has been proven to be a curable mental condition, women are leaving the work force in droves to return to the home to raise kids and regain their sanity.  The Clintons and the Obamas have all been assigned multi-decade jail sentences that none are predicted to outlive.  It’s the best of all possible worlds.

But now the successor to the God-Emperor must be selected.  And while everyone agrees that Mike Pence is a heck of a nice guy, everybody remembers how he backed down when George Stephanopoulos questioned him about the Defense of Faith act he signed into law in Indiana.  Is this the Bush scenario being replayed?  Are we about to see another Bill Clinton moment?

Now, this may be a slight exaggeration.  Mike Pence is not a Bush.  He is an actual conservative.  But also, he’s no Trump.  So, a better formulation of this question is how do you end up with another Trump?  Having a combative, unabashed alpha male at the head of the right wing has been a genuine pleasure.  Starting from a position of strength has proven to be an unalloyed advantage.  Not having to cede territory to our opponents in the Democrat party or the Media every time they throw up a smoke screen about race or gender has meant that we can actually gain ground on many different initiatives.  All in all, it’s just unacceptable to imagine us going back to a dweeby loser for Commander in Chief.  We want General George Patton in charge not Pee Wee Herman.

And then it hit me.  Let Trump choose his successor.  Now sure, he picked Mike Pence for running mate but he was choosing from the small subset of republican political figures.  And selection time was short.  Neither of these factors is currently important.  So, he can cast a wider net this time.  And he has time.  At least a few years.  So, what I thought up was a reboot of the Apprentice.  Let Donald Trump use his own intuition and methods to sort through all the candidates in America to find another him.  And since he’s done it before for something lesser he can apply this experience to doing a better job for the more important version.  And he should have it televised.  And the home audience should get to give feedback.  But only registered Republicans who donate money to the party.  The ratings would be through the roof.  And Mike Pence should definitely be in the running.  I mean, he’s not such a bad guy and maybe he actually has learned more than a Bush.