Category: Trump

Trump vs the New Attorney General – Part 2

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Trump vs the New Attorney General – Part 1

 

Dramatis Personae – President Trump (PT); James “Mad Dog” Mattis (JM); Hannibal Lecter (HL); Melania Trump (MT);

Scene 1 – White House West Wing – First Family living quarters – Monday 8am

MT – Schmoopey, Schmoopey!  Where are you my Schmoopey?

PT – I’m right here Schmoopey, what’s all the yelling?

MT – Oh Schmoopey, beware, beware!  Do not let Mad Dog feed you to Hudič.

PT – To who?

MT – No, not who, Hudič.  The Devil!

PT – Calm down Schmoopey, I know what I’m doing.

MT – But you don’t understand.  This devil likes to eat the flesh and you have a lot of flesh Schmoopey.

PT – Whaddya mean.  I’m in great shape.

MT – Uhhh … sure, sure.  But let’s not tempt the devil.  He might be extra hungry that day.

PT – Relax, Schmoopey, I’m completely in control of the situation.  It’s not me who should be worried.  It’s my enemies who should be staying away from the kitchen.  I’ve got to go now.  See you tonight.

MT – I will be praying to Saint Prebavne Motnje to intercede for you.  He is the patron saint of indigestion.

PT -Oh brother.

Scene 2 – The Joe Biden Asylum for the Criminally Insane in Lovecraft, Maryland – 11 am the same day

James Mattis and President Trump on one side of a bullet proof glass wall and Hannibal Lecter on the other side.

JM – Dr. Lecter, do you know why we are here.

HL – Of course gentlemen.  You want to contract my services for a clean-up operation.

JM – That’s correct.  We need someone with exceptional intuitive skills to perform a triage on the Justice Department.

HL – Secretary Mattis, President Trump, I have made it my life’s work to be able to peel back the skin, metaphorically speaking of course, and see the soul of the man.

JM – Sure, metaphorically speaking.

PT – Dr. Lecter, I need someone who can find my enemies and eliminate them, metaphorically speaking.  I need someone who can get the truth out of the FBI and get confessions from the conspirators.

HL – President Trump, there is nothing that would please me more than to get James Comey in my surgery, I mean office and help him to remember the details of his mistakes.  He’s a very big man, there’s so much there to work with.  So many options so many choices.  White, red, maybe a chianti.

PT – Now stay focused.  Everything needs to be legal and professional.  Remember we’re the good guys.

HL – Yes, of course, of course.  I was only speaking metaphorically.

JM – Of course.  Before you can take the position, we’ll need to pardon you for the indiscretions you were incarcerated for and then approved by the Senate.

HL – Yes, of course.  It’s awfully understanding of you to help me out with that.  I’ve had the devil of a time trying to convince the FBI that they had me confused with someone else.  As you know, they are very prone to error.

PT – I know exactly what you mean.  They can be extremely unfair.

HL – Yes.

JM – Dr Lecter, I think we understand each other.  Is there anything else we need to know going forward?

HL – Well, there is one more thing.  Is there any way I could get a set of those Trump steak knives?  I’ve heard good things.

PT – Uhhh ….. sure?

Trump vs the New Attorney General – Part 1

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Dramatis Personae – President Trump (PT); Secretary of Defense James “Mad Dog” Mattis (JM)

Scene 1 – Monday 8am White House West Wing – Oval Office – President Trump behind his desk in a private meeting with James Mattis

PT – Mad Dog, I need your help with a personnel problem.  I have to find a replacement for Jeff Sessions.  He’s scared of what he has to do to clean out the Justice Department.

JM – Mr. President, do you think I’m the right man to help you fill that job?

PT – You’ll have to be.  The new AG can’t be another political hack.  The man I’m looking for has to be a cross between Machiavelli and Attila the Hun.  In fact I wish I had the time to do the job myself but I’ve got a bunch of golf scheduled for the fall and winter months so I’ve got to delegate.

JM – Machiavelli and Attila the Hun?  That’s a tough one.  I’ll have to do some digging.  When are you looking for an answer?

PT – No rush, how about 10 am?

JM – Ayyy…sure.  Let me get going and I’ll be back at ten.

Scene 2 – 10 am same day, same location, same people

PT – Alright Mad Dog, what have you got?

JM – It’s a short list but the candidates are all highly qualified.  First up we have Colonel Joshua Stebbins.  He was an FOB commander in Iraq.  He lead his men into battle and on patrol for three years.  He was wounded severely three times but always returned to action and never failed to inspire his men by taking the point on all hazardous assignments.  So much so that when he was injured his unit typically risked life and limb to rescue him and get him to medical attention.  He was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor for single-handedly saving a school full of Iraqi children by knocking over a suicide bomber and holding him down until his vest went off.  Luckily most of the shrapnel was absorbed by bomber’s torso and the ground.

PT – Sounds kind of sentimental.  Not tough enough.  Pass.  Who’s next?

JM – Wow!  Okay, the next one is definitely tougher but less disciplined.  Sergeant Russell Burdens was a Special Forces operator in Afghanistan for five years.  He was finally discharged due to court martial conviction for excessive brutality while interrogating high level Taliban personnel during his operations behind enemy lines in Afghanistan and Pakistan.  He always achieved his mission objectives but the details of his reports horrified even the most callous Special Forces personnel that he worked with.  The final nail in the coffin was the discovery of his ear collection.

PT – Sounds like a pretty good fit but I’m not a big fan of ear collections.  Very unsanitary.  Put him in the maybe pile.  What else have you got?

JM – Maybe pile.  Okay, I’ve got one more candidate.  He’s a highly unsavory character and mentally unstable to say the least.  Hannibal Lector.

PT – You mean the Silence of the Lambs guy?  But he’s a fictional character.

JM – I thought so too.  But it turns out he’s real.  Apparently Harris based the book on the actual Lector and toned the events down in order to make it more believable.  The real Lector is much more dangerous than the fictional character.

PT – More dangerous than The Silence of the Lambs guy.  Sounds about right.  When can we get him in for an interview?

JM – He’s currently in a Maryland  insane asylum.  He’s  in a strait jacket, muzzle, leg shackles and  on a thorazine drip just to make him safe enough to work around.

PT – Well that’s not very convenient.  Can we arrange a Skype?

JM – I’ll get right on it.

PT – Yeah, see if we can make it happen for noon.  I have a half round scheduled this afternoon with the Prime Minister of Japan and I don’t want to keep him waiting.

JM – ……, Yes, Mr. President.

 

Trump vs the New Attorney General – Part 2

23AUG2018 – Ex Cathedra

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Normally when I take metaphorical pen to paper I like to keep a slightly easy-going and breezy attitude.  Often, I use this attitude to allow me to riff on the latest outrages of the Left in one of my high-larious Trump vs XYZ parodies.  But today good humor has completely deserted me.  I am so thoroughly fed up with Mueller and Manaforte and Cohen and all of the other sleazy disgusting losers that I just want President Trump to lash out and pack them all up for Guantanamo Bay.  Seriously, is there no one who will rid me of these people?  Listening to the laundry list of offenses petty and felonious makes me want to trade in my human card for something better, like a subscription to the buzzard road kill of the month club.

Now, I understand that this is Mueller’s intention.  He wants to inflict the maximum damage to the Republican reputation and morale before the election.  And the smartest course is just let anything short of an indictment roll off of us like water off a duck’s back.  But what I really want is President Trump to fire Mueller and assign the job to someone who has the full dossier on what the Swamp was doing back in 2016.  I want a grand jury to indict Comey, Strzok, Page, Mueller and all the other rats for their part in this con job.  To be totally honest I’d prefer to see them tried for treason.  And I’d prefer they start the Grand Jury tomorrow.

Honestly, there are two months and more before the mid-terms and I’d rather go skinny-dipping in molten lead than listen to more of this for that length of time.  There’s just no reason why we have to be subjected to any more of this.  Just fire the low-life skunk and be done with it.  Nothing would delight me more than to hear the Dems and the Fake News Media screeching like a chorus of scorched cats.

So here is my official request to you, President Trump.  Speaking to you in my capacity as the world’s greatest living expert on everything.  Fire them all.  Fire Mueller and his pack of legal jackals.  Fire everyone at the FBI, CIA and the Justice Department who isn’t demonstrably helping your administration.  Fire every single political appointment by Obama and most of W’s.  Fire the whole damn State Department and replace them with military personnel.  Rehire all the military officers that were fired by Obama for not thinking soldiers should walk around in dresses and high heels.  Fire anyone who has the word diversity or affirmative in his job description.  Fire the whole damn Education Department and anyone in the NOAA who mentions the words climate and change in that order.  And while you’re at it move the damn UN to Detroit.  Detroit could use the business and the General Assembly needs to see what their policies look like up close and personal.

Mr. President, consider that this comes from the heart.  I’m one of your biggest fans and usually keep quiet on how you take care of business.  But I implore you, clean house.  I think you’ll gain votes from this and the economy will kick up to 6% growth just from relief.  Sermon over.

And CBS News Puts the Blue Wave Mercifully to Rest

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First, full disclosure, this is a link to a NY Post article so I won’t be luring you into clicking on a left-wing site.  The Post is a clickbait nightmare but it’s decidedly right leaning.  https://nypost.com/2018/08/18/cbs-news-pollster-reveals-why-blue-wave-is-unlikely/

Hearing them admit that the numbers don’t look anything like a Democrat landslide is music to my ears.  I calculate that if CBS News, the home of 60 Minutes and the former home of Dan Rather, admits that the Blue Wave has been downgraded to a puddle that even a six-year-old wouldn’t bother jumping in then it’s time to start planning for what legislation President Trump will dictate to the spineless slugs that are the Republican Congressmen.  Maybe they can repeal the Patriot Act and shut off the funding for Google and Facebook.

Seriously though, if the mid-terms end up going in our favor and we keep the House and gain at least three or four seats in the Senate, then President Trump has the potential of moving forward on several fronts.  Most importantly he can get the funds for the wall.  Then he can end the Mueller farce and finally clean out the Justice Department.  After that I hope he continues with his plans to restore American business health by removing the incentives for companies to off-shore their factories to China.  And he should continue filling the federal courts with conservatives.  Imagine if he has the chance to flip the Ninth Circuit Court, that would be monumental.  And finally, he needs to attack the leftist monopolies in the social media and internet advertising world.  Maybe even bust them up.  But definitely sic the Justice Department on their discriminatory practices.  If he does those few things he’ll win the 2020 election by a landslide and he will make this not only a great country again but also a free country again.

Of course, here I am spinning everything in the rosiest light.  Reality very rarely goes that far but even just knowing that the House probably won’t return to Nancy Pelosi’s control is a great victory.  That will end the impeachment chanting and return the Dems to the pits of despair that they inhabited back in November 2016.

Think about that.  It makes me want to go back to YouTube and watch that blue-haired screeching harpy flipping out in some kind of rage spiral screaming for some all-powerful parental figure (God?) to fix this before she had a heart attack.  Or how about that great clip where the Young Turks start out at the beginning of election Day euphoric and smug and end up in despair with every third word bleeped out as the female component of the cast devolved into an expletive laced tirade against white women who voted for Trump.  And who can forget the cutaways to Clinton Campaign Headquarters gradually going from riotous party to funereal despair over the course of the evening with the finale witnessing women and even apparently men sobbing uncontrollably over the fate of Hillary.  And finally, we can’t pass up Rachel Maddow with her final statement that what the audience was watching wasn’t a nightmare but actual reality.  Good times, good times.

I could have included the spectacle of Miley Cyrus lying on her bed weeping and moaning about how unfair it was for Hillary to lose because Hillary had waited so long and deserved it so much.  But even my schadenfreude has limits.  That video represents a vision of infantilization that I find too disturbing to even witness.  After watching that spectacle, the competent authorities should have committed her to a lunatic asylum for ice water immersions and electro-shock therapy until they broke through her psychosis.  Billy Ray, you let the world down.

Well anyway, things are looking up.

Timing is Everything – Or So They Say

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Previously I have alluded to the theory that President Trump was playing a very high stakes game of chicken with Robert Mueller.  Extending that theory to all the latest news on all the various swamp creatures being heard from in the last few days, I now think that the November Election is the crucial event around which all these machinations revolve.  And I think there are only a few scenarios that are likely.

 

  • President Trump and Robert Mueller reach the election day with nothing but more of the same type of low level revelations and rhetoric. Immediately following the election President Trump will terminate the Special Counsel mandate.  This will be followed by one of two actions:
    1. Mueller does nothing and slinks back into the shadows
    2. Mueller leaks some bombshell revelation and gives a press conference. A firestorm ensues.
  • President Trump doesn’t wait for the mid-terms but terminates Mueller and goes public with a series of allegations against the swamp and begins a series of indictments against them. This scenario would need to happen fairly soon to allow the public time to absorb the information he wants to get out before the November elections.
  • Mueller doesn’t wait but goes for an October surprise. He subpoenas President Trump in October and leaks damaging information to the press.  President Trump fires him and a fire storm ensues.
  • Mueller ends his investigation in early September as the President wants. No follow up action from either side.

These are my guesses as the most likely scenarios for where we are heading.  Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

Trump vs Twitter Ban

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Dramatis Personae:  President Trump – (PT);   Melania Trump – (MT);    Vice President Pence – (VPP);    Mad Dog Mattis – (MDM);    Rachel Maddow – (RM);   Kim Jong Un – (KJU);   Russian President Vladimir Putin – (RVP);  Rosie O’Donnell – (ROD);  George Will – (GW);  Warning Announcer – (WA)

 

Scene 1: White House West Wing; 8am Friday; First Family living quarters

PT – Schmoopey!  Schmoopey!  Schmoopey where are you?  I need your help more than ever before.

MT – I’m right here Schmoopey, do not despair.

PT – Schmoopey, this is a national emergency, Twitter has banned me.

MT – Schmoopey, is this indeed an emergency?  Twitter seems to me to be not an emergency.

PT – Of course it is.  Without my twitter feed how will I get out the truth?  The failed New York Times and fake news networks will lie unopposed and Americans will fall into panic.

MT – This is true.  How can I help you in the saving of the nation.

PT – I need an idea to force them to restore my Twitter account.

MT – But you are the great leader.  They must obey or you will crush them like ants under your giant feet.

PT – Sadly, that is not how it works.  Apparently, the US government is not allowed to assassinate US citizens except if a Democrat is President.

MT – Too bad.  That would be convenient.

PT – You’re telling me.

MT – Yes, I am telling you.

PT – (sighs heavily) … Anyway, I can’t do that so I need a good idea to fix this.

MT – You must speak to the very wise men of government. President Vice Mike and the Mad Dog.

PT – You’re right again Schmoopey, those guys have been sleeping on the job long enough.  I’ll put a fire under them and get something useful out of them for a change.  After all I can’t do everything all alone.  And I’ll get Putin and Kim Jong Un working on this too.

MT – Get them, get them.  Make them fix this.  Go Schmoopey, you are truly wonderful, Mr. Leader.

Scene 2; White House Bunker, Teleconferencing Area; Same Day 6 pm.; President Trump, Vice President Pence and Defense Secretary (Mad Dog) Mattis are seated in virtual conference seats with life sized images of Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un facing them.

PT – Okay, so that’s the problem.  I’ve been banned from Twitter and I have to get back on.  What are my options.

VPP – Mr. President, what seems appropriate is a strongly worded editorial in the major daily newspapers, the Times and the Post, declaring the unfairness of this decision by Twitter.

PT – Low energy, Pence.  Next.

KJU – Nerve gas attack on Twitter owner’s dog.  Get message across with small gesture.

PT – Interesting, but let’s hold the nerve gas in reserve right now.  There’s a whole treaty about that sort of thing plus PETA can be a bear to deal with when they get antsy.  Next.

RVP – The correct play is hack their servers and block all other feeds but yours for two weeks and then demand a billion dollars in cryptocurrency to restore their service.  Plus special forces should occupy the first three floors of their headquarters and annex it to the Russian Federation.

PT – Also interesting.  But none of that annexing jazz.  Americans are pretty attached to the territory.

RVP – Suit yourself.

PT – Next.

MDM – Mr. President, I think I’ve got an idea that should provide you with the short-term ability to get out your message and long-term will force Twitter to restore your account.  And my plan has the added advantage that it allows you to work within the confines of the US Constitution and all other applicable US laws.  Plus, no humans or dogs will be terminated.

KJU – You must really be mad dog if you so picky about nerve gassing them.  You big baby.

RVP – Why so boring Mad Dog?

PT – Kim Jong Un, Vladimir, thank you for your help.  If we need a backup plan I’ll be in touch.  (the images of Putin and Kim disappear but not before Kim flips Mattis the bird)  Alright Mad Dog you put together your team and Mike try to be helpful to the team.  You know, I can’t do everything myself!

Scene 3:  The following Monday evening;   The Set of the Rachel Maddow Show; Rachel Maddow is at her desk and facing a large television screen on which appear the various guests she interviews.

RM – Hello everyone, we’ve got our usual line up of inspiring progressive stories and tragic conservative stories but before anything else we need to jump onto the biggest story of the week.  Donald Trump has been banned from Twitter, permanently!  I’ve assembled a panel of brilliant and objective thought leaders to objectively explain to you why it’s perfectly reasonable for Twitter to decide that Trump is too racist and evil to be allowed to tweet.  My first guest is an esteemed former Republican and originator of the bow tie and glasses look that I myself envy so much, the estimable George Will.  (Will appears on the screen looking both pompous and ill at ease at the same time)

GW – Thank you Rachel.  And if I may preface my remarks with a quote by the great Negro League pitcher Satchel Paige, “Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts. Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move.”

RM – I believe that is cultural appropriation.

GW – If it is, I’ll warrant I can lay it at the feet of the Trump presidency or hacking by Putin.

RM – Probably.  Okay, continue.

GW – What Satchel said about fried foods is the advice that Twitter is acting on.  Trump is the irritant like the fried food and Twitter has removed it and that will pacify our blood and give the nation cool thoughts.

RM – That’s fascinating coming from a conservative.

GW – Obviously, Rachel you’re still working under the fallacies of the old paradigm.  After the conversion to the new Will paradigm shift all of these seeming paradoxes disappear.  For instance, under the old fallacious viewpoint my opposition to the Republican president would appear to be unconservative.  But once you shift your point of view to the Will perspective you realize that real conservatism is what you find on MSNBC.  Real conservatives conserve the values that thrive in the new conservative universe.  The universe of Twitter and Facebook.  And once you embrace this new knowledge you realize who the real leader of the conservative movement truly is, Hillary Rodham Clinton.

RM – I always suspected as much.

(suddenly a federal emergency interruption flashes across the screen and a warning announcer speaks)

WA – We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this important message from the President of the United States.

PT –   Rachel Maddow is a nincompoop who really needs a better haircut and wardrobe.  Very unfair and fake news.  Also, very boring and unattractive.

WA – That concludes this warning of the emergency broadcast network.  We return you to the regularly broadcast program already in progress.

RM – What the (bleep) was that?

GW – Apparently Donald Trump has lost whatever tenuous grip he had on reality and is now satisfying whatever impulse his id dreams up with complete …

(suddenly a federal emergency interruption flashes across the screen and a warning announcer speaks)

WA – We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this important message from the President of the United States.

PT – George Will is a pompous doofus who couldn’t play golf on his best day but pontificates about it endlessly.  His breath is horrible and he farts on TV all the time.

WA – That concludes this warning of the emergency broadcast network.  We return you to the regularly broadcast program already in progress.

GW – What the (bleep) was that?  (Will disappears off the screen leaving a test pattern in his place.)

RM – We seem to be having technical difficulties but let’s bring on the next panel member, Rosie O’Donnell.

(O’Donnell appears on the screen in an outfit that resembles a slightly tight fitting burlap sack.)

ROD – Hello Rachel.  It seems like it’s been a long time since you invited me on the show but let’s stay on point.  Donald Trump is a dangerous maniac and removing him from Twitter is the least that can be done to stop him from destroying the world and even the universe.  He is responsible for global warming, ozone depletion, overpopulation and hate crimes against all at risk groups.

(suddenly a federal emergency interruption flashes across the screen and a warning announcer speaks)

WA – We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this important message from the President of the United States.

PT – Rosie O’Donnell is undeniably the worst human being to appear on the View and considering how awful most of the broads on that show are that’s saying a lot.  She is so filled with rage that in order to transport her to events she must first be put in the Hannibal Lector restraints with the mask and straight jacket and the two-wheeler.  And she’s gotten so fat that she can no longer bath indoors but instead needs to be hosed down outdoors in the Bronx Zoo elephant paddock.  But the elephants must first be removed to avoid panicking them.  Hello Rosie.

WA – That concludes this warning of the emergency broadcast network.  We return you to the regularly broadcast program already in progress.

ROD  – (bleep)ing Trump I’ll (bleep) (bleep) the (bleep)ing (bleep) (bleep) (bleeeeeeep)!!!  (Rosie is last seen attacking the camera with her teeth then the feed goes dead followed by static.)

RM – We’re going to take a break now and go to commercial when we come back I’m sure we’ll have all this sorted out.  (once the cameras stop Maddow drops her head to the desk and sobs uncontrollably.)

Scene 4 – White House Bunker, Teleconferencing Area, Tuesday 6pm, President Trump sitting at the control board of the audio-visual system watching various feeds from the network and cable news shows and scribbling down some notes for his announcement rebuttals.  Next to him is a very tired and disheveled Mike Pence.

PT – Mike what rhymes with Tapper besides crapper.  I’ve already used that one.

VPP – Mr. President I can’t even think straight anymore.  It’s been more than twenty-four hours since we started this.  Can’t we take a break to sleep.

PT – Not yet Mike.  We’re very close.  I can tell they’re ready to cave.  I heard Jim Acosta is in the rubber room over at Washington General Hospital.  Apparently, he wandered in saying something about not being the enemy of the people.

(the phone rings and Mike Pence answers it)

VPP – Mr. President, it’s the CEOs of Disney, NBC-Universal, CBS, Time-Warner, Netflix, Amazon and the Home Shopping Network.  They want to surrender unconditionally.  Well except for HSN, they want to see if they can extend your subscription for three years at a really good rate.

PT – You tell those nitwits that the only way I’ll stop is if they reverse my Twitter ban and reinstate all conservatives they’ve banned in the last four years.

VPP – They’ve agreed.  Bezos purchased Twitter and fired the whole department in charge of persecuting conservatives.

PT – Good.  Oh, and tell them no more limit on the number of characters in my messages.  It’s really very lame.

Trump vs Crumb Bum Incumbent Chump Stumping

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[Announcer]:  We interrupt this regularly scheduled broadcast of some utterly meaningless reality show to bring you the already in progress televised presentation of President Trump’s campaign rally for Incumbent Republican Senator Rathbone Bamboozle from the Great State of Northeast Meetah.  And here is the President.

[President Trump]:  Thank you Senator Bamboozle for that rambling incoherent introduction.  I couldn’t understand everything you said because you are so falling down drunk but from what I heard I disagree with about every fourth word.  Good evening ladies and gentlemen.  I’m here tonight to convince you to get out and vote for Senator Bamboozle.  Looking back on his long and storied career of graft, corruption, featherbedding and just plain influence peddling it’s hard to believe that I can actually find a single reason to recommend him.  I mean look at him.  He’s an old, fat, drunken, dishonest SOB and he’s hideously ugly to boot.  In a better world, I’d be urging the Senate Majority Leader to proffer charges against him prior to expulsion from the Senate and if it’s still permitted I’d have him bullwhipped out of the Capitol Building.  But we don’t live in a better world.  In this world your choice is this worthless bag of crap or a Democrat.  So, relatively speaking, the bag of crap is the better man.  If the Democrats get in, we can expect them to stonewall all further progress on job creation, tax relief, trade improvement and immigration control.  We’ll have no further progress on an honest Supreme Court and we’ll end up with socialism and reverse racism tainting every law and government program.

I remember just last year Rathbone Bamboozle declared in the pit of the Senate that he would do everything in his power to see that my presidency failed.  He said that my positions on immigration and trade were un-American.  He swore that he would oppose any policy that I championed and swore that he would petition the FBI to prosecute me on charges that I colluded with the Russians against Crooked Hillary.

Well, that was then, this is now.  Senator Bamboozle is thirty points under water in the polls and his wife has left him for the local termite inspection guy who works his neighborhood.  She said he associates with a better class of individuals than her husband.  So, after he begged me on his hands and knees and the political spin doctors assured me that we need his seat to move forward with our agenda, I agreed very reluctantly to come here and ask you long suffering people to bring this loser back to the Senate.  I can’t claim that he will be a better Senator or a better man but I can promise you that once I have enough votes in the Senate to not need his sorry butt around anymore, I’ll have him investigated by the IRS and sent to prison for at least twenty years.  (turning around to the dais) You hear that Rathbone?  Better start a weight training program.  Prison is a pretty tough gig.

So, in conclusion, vote for this bum.  I’ve written a new campaign slogan for him.  Tell me what you think.  “He’s a worthless, evil, conniving bastard, but he’s not Satan himself.”  (the crowd gives him a standing ovation) Trump out.

Z-Man and I Seem to be Hearing the Same Things

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In a recent post, Why is the New Right Successful? I ended by saying, “Donald Trump is our Northern Star and we will follow him as long as he can withstand the onslaught.  If he falls then we’ll be waiting for the spark to ignite the powder keg.  Because it’s long been primed.”  It was interesting to read Z-Man’s latest post entitled “Waiting For The Spark.”  I guess it’s getting kind of unanimous that both sides are getting ready for the dust up.  And which side is readiest for the consequences?  Disrupting a relatively comfortable life is not the easiest thing in the world to do.  But either way everyone seems to sense that something’s gotta give.  Hope it’s them and not us.

Why is the New Right Wing Successful?

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The Alt-Right, Dissident Right, whatever it’s called, is replacing the Establishment Conservatives as the legitimate voice of the non-progressive citizens of the United States.  These are the people who voted for Donald Trump and until he was elected their point of view was almost completely unrepresented in political and journalistic circles.

But why are the old voices in the Republican Party and the Legacy Conservative Media falling by the wayside?  That’s at least easy to see.  It’s because they had no clue why Donald Trump was so popular.  They couldn’t (or wouldn’t) see that they were the hapless tools of the Progressives.  They truly were the stupid party or at least pretended to be.

So, I’ve been thinking about what is so different about the New Right.  First of all, it would be inaccurate to suppose that this is a monolithic group.  They disagree tremendously about many things but specifically and especially around what the outcome of their efforts will be.  And undeniably the New Right is chock full of “characters.”  Trying to list their defining characteristics I came up with this list:

  • They recognize that we’re being played by the Left and the Controlled Opposition.
  • They know enough about the Left’s tactics to have at least a chance at not being steam-rolled.
  • They recognize that anti-white racism is an intentional and powerful tactic but that it provides the means to wake up and unite Americans against the campaign being waged against them.
  • They spoke up against legal and illegal immigration being used to disenfranchise the native population.
  • They spoke up against all the globalist tactics used to bankrupt Americans.
  • The know how dire the situation is.
  • They’re on our side.
  • They’re not afraid.

Looking at all these factors, what it tells me about the New Right is that they aren’t fooled into thinking the Left are their fellow Americans.  They won’t be co-opted by the Left-Wing Media or Institutions.  They know the Left is their enemy.

What all this says to me is that they aren’t thinking about ideological definitions and logic chopping.  They’ve realized that we can’t win this war by persuading our opponents of the superior logic or morality of our position.  They realize that the only way to win a fight against power politics is by using power politics.  And they’ve realized that the only way to beat identity politics is with identity politics.  They’re thinking about strategy and tactics for beating the leftists at their own game.

Basically, they’re not stupid.

Will they continue to be successful?  Nobody knows.  But what is clear is that they are the only option that even might work.  But unfortunately, their definition of success differs from mine.  They mostly assume that the whole system will and should blow up.  They’re much braver than I am or maybe they have much less to lose.  But I’m not dumb enough to think that things will get better if we play nice with the Left.  That’s what got us here in the first place so I’m following the path that the New Right is blazing.  I don’t agree with everything being said.  And as a I mentioned, unanimity doesn’t actually exist in the New Right but the general direction is clear enough.  Donald Trump is our Northern Star and we will follow him as long as he can withstand the onslaught.  If he falls then we’ll be waiting for the spark to ignite the powder keg.  Because it’s long been primed.